Showing posts with label large families. Show all posts
Showing posts with label large families. Show all posts

Wednesday, January 4, 2023

Having babies and toddlers in the church service

Today, I wanted to share some advice and realistic expectations regarding having kids in the church service, based on my experience of 21 years as a mother to 12 kids, and 17 years as the pastor's wife at our family-integrated church. 

Once babies outgrow sleeping through the service, and become more active and vocal, it is not realistic to expect them to sit through a church service. Unless they are the rare exception, or have developmental delays, kids that age are hard-wired to explore, move their large muscles, and never sit still. This is perfectly normal, and should not be "disciplined" out of them. Wanting to run and throw things when a toddler has been told to sit still is no more disobedience, than if they were told to not breathe and yet continued to do so. This is even more true for little boys.

Instead, at our family-integrated church, we encourage parents with kids ages 1-3 years to expect to watch/listen to the sermons from the mother-baby rooms (we have two for babies, two for toddlers), or the open areas at the back of the auditorium. It is neither reasonable nor advisable to expect little kids to sit in the service like tin soldiers for 75+ minutes, three times a week. Once they have left the service, they should probably stay out, to reduce the constant and distracting in-and-out traffic during the service. (This does not apply to bathroom/diaper breaks, but rather parents who take their toddler in and out a dozen or more times every service.) If they are screaming their lungs out in the mother-baby rooms, they should be taken all the way outside the immediate vicinity of the auditorium until they settle down. I have had to finish a few sermons listening on my phone in the van while the toddler used the seats as a jungle gym. It's okay!

And yes, while it is possible to train a human child to do just about anything by punishing them if they don't meet our expectations, there is a cost to this, and I for one do not think it is worth punishing a toddler to sit through a service against their natural, healthy bent. One family I knew prided themselves on their kids never leaving the service, and true, their babies sat for every service without moving a muscle. However, these same kids showed majorly troubled social and emotional development. They sat still because it was a survival and coping mechanism. Since it took such great effort for them to exhibit non-age appropriate behavior, every other area had to suffer, much to their detriment.

Every child is different. It is not wise to look at another child, and base your expectations of your child on what some other child is able to do. Discipline is best applied consistently at home, and should be the exception while in public, when parents are likely to be stressed and frazzled.

In my personal experience, we have only had one of our twelve kids happily (and of their own volition) sit through every service, without ever needing a mother-baby room. Every other child has spent the some or most of the service outside the main auditorium from approx. age 8 to 36 months. Basically, we all start out in the main service. The little people usually do well through the singing and announcements, and are ready to go play by the time the sermon starts. But that's ok.

Kids should not be made to dread church, and associate their earliest memories of church with punishment and misery. They can still hear the sermon from the mother baby rooms, and there is plenty of science to support that young kids absorb information best while being allowed to move and wiggle anyway. The goal is for them to grow up and continue in church as adults, for a lifetime. Plenty of good Christians didn't even start going to church until they were adults, and yet, they are able to sit through a service. All is not lost if a 2-year old would rather play than sit through a service. As kids age, they can be expected to do more, but no toddler should be expected to sit through every service, every time.

Hopefully, with everyone's consideration, family-integrated churches can maintain a pleasant atmosphere for all, from the toddlers who need to move, to the parents who can relax, to those with no (or grown) kids who won't be annoyed by the constant commotion.

Wednesday, October 7, 2020

Video walkthrough tour of our old home

We moved into our home in Tempe in December of 2005, when we had just three kids: Solomon (4), Isaac (2), and John (12 months). 


As our family grew, we kept finding ways to make our home work for us, including enclosing the patio to make a school/dining room, and enclosing the carport to make our tiny second bathroom into a large master bath. You can see a video of how we made it work with 13 people in 1,650 sq ft here


We had been weighing the pros and cons of moving for years, but always decided to stay. This summer, with 11 kids ages 19 down to 1, the scale tipped in favor of moving. I will do a longer video on our reasons for moving, and what finally pushed us over the edge. 


Today, for the sake of nostalgia, I am sharing a walkthrough video of our home of so many years. Enjoy! 


Wednesday, April 22, 2020

This is NOT homeschooling

Now that we seasoned home educators everywhere have sufficiently chuckled and needled at the fact that suddenly, homeschooling is the new government mandate, I wanted to pause and clarify that crisis homeschooling is very different from real-life home education.




We are not locked up at home all day

Parents who unexpectedly find themselves locked up at home most of the day with kids that are usually gone might be on the brink of losing their minds. If being on lockdown all day, every day were what homeschooling in real life looked like, I dare say few of us would choose it. No, it does not make you a bad mom to not want to be within touching distance of needy people all day without any outside activities or distractions. 

The fact of the matter is that most homeschool families are very involved in outside activities, and often spend time away from home on a daily basis. That could be anything ranging from co-op classes, to field trips, P.E. groups, and extracurricular interests such as chess, theater, speech and debate, archery, ballroom dancing, music lessons, craft classes, and on and on. And that's to say nothing of leaving the house for everyday activities such as shopping and running errands. 

Being on home confinement as an adult is hard enough for many. Being on lockdown unexpectedly with a house full of kids is NOT typical homeschooling. 




We socialize with others on a grand scale

The most commonly expressed concern with homeschooling is "socialization," i.e. making sure that kids grow up as part of, and integrated into, society. This as opposed to being a misanthropic recluse. I have met a few of the latter, incidentally none of whom had been home educated themselves. 

That's because in real life, home educated students are actually exposed to infinitely MORE people than students locked in a classroom for most of the day. In school, kids are mostly only able to socialize with other children, of their own age and aptitude. In real life, home educated kids interact with siblings of all ages and grade levels, observe working adults in the real world, get to spend more time with extended family, and are exposed all day long to the full gamut of those who make up society, including fringe demographics like the homeless or people with disabilities.

Hands down, home education is far more socially diverse and inclusive than a classroom setting ever could be. To suddenly be isolated is challenging for everyone, including homeschoolers, as this is entirely opposite our normal lives. 


It is well-planned 

Aside from a few exceptions, most parents who choose to home educate do so out of concern for their child's education and well-being. We are responsible parents who take initiative, fully realizing that if we take our kids out of school, it is now up to us to make sure they get a solid education. As a result, we spend many hours researching the best curriculum to match our kids' individual learning styles and aptitudes. We attend homeschool conventions, read every book available on the topic, connect with our local homeschool communities, and otherwise do all in our power to be fully equipped. 

We already have textbooks, lesson plans, and daily routines we rely on. No need to wait on the school district to figure out which way is up, how to switch from classroom to virtual teaching, no need to wait for laptops to be issued, etc. We know where our kids are at in each of their subjects, and stand ready to help them since we have been by their side, educationally speaking, the entire time. There is no learning curve or sudden adjustment. Our approach is not haphazard, we are not panicked or insecure, and we don't view this educational approach as an emergency measure, a band-aid until the school system bails us out. 

In other words, this is "just another day at the office" for us. 





We were not thrust into this

Those of us who have been homeschooling for years were not thrust into this lifestyle overnight, thrown into the deep end of an ice-cold pool as it were. Most of us had a gentle, gradual, planned entry. This is especially true for those of us who have been home educators all along, since we started with just one kindergarten student. 

This has repercussions in countless areas: we are accustomed to cooking for and feeding our kids three meals a day, rather than relying on school to provide lunch and in most cases even breakfast. Our homes are set up to handle people living in it all day long. Our routines are based on having kids around, rather than being kid-free most of the day. Our parenting and discipline are such that we can handle being around our kids, all of them, all day long without life becoming one long, miserable countdown to bedtime. 

Most importantly, we CHOSE homeschooling. It was not foisted on us, unexpectedly, in the middle of a world-wide pandemic, amidst unprecedented measures and the anxieties they produce. 


How are the current situation and regular home education alike? 

Take heart, there are some things that are the same. We all are far from being perfect parents, doing our best. We all can only make it by the grace of God. We all could do better. We all get irritated by and tired of our kids at some point. We all second-guess ourselves daily. We all have kids who resist learning and feign cluelessness to wiggle out of school work or other responsibilities. We all think our kids are the best, smartest, and cutest in the world. We all love them with all of our hearts and want only the best for them. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~


This post was inspired by a German news article I read this morning. The German ministers responsible for education are actually using the English word "homeschooling" to refer to the current state of education, in which parents are to continue their kids' education at home with textbook assignments sent through online portals (but no online teaching). Imagine the irony in that! For decades, Germany has been one of a few European countries where homeschooling is not just illegal, but actively squelched. Parents who choose to home educate anyway face anything from government harassment to fines to termination of parental rights or even imprisonment. It would be unfathomable to see children of school age accompany their parents in public spaces during school hours. Those who home educate have to do so in secrecy and fear, not the freedom and widespread acceptance we are accustomed to here in the US and other parts of the world. 

Even now, those same German authorities are stressing the fact that this "homeschooling" situation is temporary, because children need social interactions beyond their immediate family. Whoa there, Sherlock! Tell us something we don't know. To compare unexpectedly doing school at home while being locked up with little to no outside activities or interactions to homeschooling is unfair and deceptive. 

If you had considered home education in the past, but this current crisis has you pulling your hair out, please do not let it dissuade you from pursuing homeschooling in the future. This is NOT our normal.


Thursday, March 12, 2020

New homeschool curriculum now available for purchase!

I am thrilled to announce that my new homeschool curriculum is now available for purchase!!




Framing the World ($5 below list price!)


Kindle ebook on Amazon


You can get a PFD of a free semester preview on my website, Read Yourself an Education. Alternatively, you can utilize the "Look Inside" feature on Amazon.

This project has been a long time in the making. I wrote the curriculum I always wanted to have myself, but couldn't find. We have been using the unit-study based approach in this book for about a decade now, and it is our favorite way to learn together as a family. 

Please consider giving the free preview a try. I am certain you will LOVE learning this way!




Thursday, October 17, 2019

Birth announcement

Eva Rose was born healthy and safe on Sunday, September 22nd, at 10:35 a.m. weighing 7 lbs 10 oz and measuring 20 in. You can listen to me tell her birth story here.

We chose her name "Eva" in keeping with the Biblical theme for first names, picking a new first initial for each child. "Rose" is in honor of both of my Grandmas, who went by the German and Hungarian equivalents of that name.


 The weight shown on this board is slightly off... mommy brain... eek!


Eva has been a very sweet, easy, mellow baby. She has been smiling from Day 1! She is also a great nurser (no tongue tie - yay!).

To see more updates, please visit us on Facebook, Instagram, or YouTube.


Saturday, August 24, 2019

Read Yourself an Education FREE trial pdf now available!

I am excited to announce that I have released a free pdf version of the first semester of my new homeschool book, "Read Yourself an Education, Volume 1 - Around the World, Country by Country."

The full version is due to be released through Amazon later this fall. In the meantime, the pdf will allow you to get started using the book for the upcoming 2019/20 school year, if you so wish.

Get the pdf and sign up for the newsletter at www.readyourselfaneducation.com!




Tuesday, June 25, 2019

How to buy a smaller (non-standard) Willow breast pump flange

The Willow wearable breast pump only comes in 2 standard flange sizes: 24 mm and 27 mm. If neither of these sizes work for you, please watch the video below to learn of a hack that makes it possible to size the flange down to whatever size you need:





Even though I have breastfed all of our babies, the older I get, and the more babies I have, the more I struggle to provide enough milk for them. I think it's a mixture of being more busy, getting older, and inevitable hormonal changes. I have heard the same from several other moms of many.

With Peter, in addition to supplementing him with formula, I also pumped to help build my supply. However, traditional breast pumps are time consuming and inconvenient, which made it difficult for me to pump as often as would have been ideal.

I am excited to have discovered this hack to make it possible for me to pump much more often after the arrival of baby #11 to help establish a solid milk supply.

 Please let me know in the comments below if you have a question.

Tuesday, May 7, 2019

What we eat and spend on food in a month - Week 3 of 4

Week 1 here
Week 2 here

Last week was very busy for our family, filled with extra appointments. I was not able to get most of my shopping done on Monday as I like to do, and had to make a second day of it on Tuesday. 

I typically go shopping in the morning while Peter naps, the big kids do their school work, and the little kids come with me so they don't disrupt the kids that are working/napping. Last week however, both Monday and Tuesday, I also had appointments during the afternoon nap time hours, and then tagged on errands that I had been putting off too long. So I spent pretty much all day Monday and Tuesday out of the house, doing errands and appointments, being home only for breakfast, lunch, and then dinner and the rest of the evening. 

For example, my Wal-Mart list had been accumulating for 6-8 weeks. I don't like going to Wal-Mart very much because I never leave there feeling accomplished - the minute I am done checking out, I remember something I needed to buy but forgot to put on the shopping list, but there's no way I'm going back through the store right then and there. So I always leave somewhat exasperated. Eventually, we get to the point where we really need some essentials urgently, and I finally drag myself there again. Last week was that week. And while I didn't forget anything that time, there were two items the store was out of stock on so again, no feelings of accomplishment. 

I did, however, feel very accomplished with some awesome deals I scored on organic produce last
week:


Monday: Superstition Ranch Farmer's Market - $49.79

All organic: 20 bell peppers, 2 huge watermelons, 9 lbs Fuji apples, 12 pints blackberries ($1 each!). The bell peppers alone would have cost $40 anywhere else (normally $2 each). We ate about half of those fresh this week, the rest went in the freezer for fajitas another time. The blackberries have been on sale for $3 each everywhere else, and the watermelons were $2 cheaper than I paid at Costco the week before.



Monday: 99 cent only store - $17.92

All organic except the limes: 6 x 2 lbs strawberries ($2 each! - I have been paying $6-$7 at Costco lately), 4 lbs apples, 1 pack romaine hearts, 1 bag limes.

We eat SO. MANY. APPLES. Stephen (6) told me, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away, so I eat ten apples every day so I can live a thousand years. If that's even possible." Ha!



Tuesday: Costco - $372.07

This was a huge Costco trip. I only had 30 minutes to get in and out the store, checked out, packed up, and all in order to make it to a prenatal appointment. Talk about fast! I definitely didn't have time to stop and smell the roses (and get sucked into impulse purchases).

I bought: 12 lbs organic b/s chicken breasts, 12 lbs organic b/s chicken thighs, 4 lbs organic pre-seasoned b/s chicken breast, 10 lbs organic sugar, smoked salmon, 2 x deli chicken, deli roast beef, deli Black Forest ham, Canadian bacon, 1.5 lbs organic string cheese, 5 lbs each organic: cauliflower, green beans, peas, corn, strawberries, 8 dozen organic eggs, 1 pineapple, 2 x 5 lbs tangerines, 3 x 3 lbs organic bananas, organic ketchup, organic salsa, organic Greek yogurt, 2 lbs Kerrygold butter, 2 lbs Rumiano sliced organic cheddar cheese, ciabatta rolls, 2 x 12 organic orange cream popsicles


Tuesday: Whole Foods 1 of 2 - approx. $47 (I lost the receipt)

all conventional (but uncured): 2 x bacon, 2 x liverwurst, 1.5 lbs pepperoni, 5 lbs Muskat grapes

I normally do not buy conventional grapes, but make an exception for Muskat grapes. They are SO GOOD!! They taste like the grapes I ate as a child growing up in Hungary, where my grandparents had a vineyard I would sometimes "help" in. I go through about 1 bag per day when they are in season (right now), especially because I also share them with the two youngest kids, Peter and Chloe, who love them as much as I do. The other kids can be kept at bay with a bumper crop of other fruit. 

The deli meats are mostly for the boys who pack them in their lunches for work.



Tuesday: Whole Foods 2 of 2 - $43.21

The first Whole Foods was out of organic ground pork, so we stopped by another branch later in the day while we were in that area. 

all organic: 5 lbs ground pork, 3 lbs on the vine tomatoes, 1 bottle buttermilk



Tuesday: Trader Joe's - $50 and change (lost the receipt)

2 x 5 lbs organic potatoes, 2 pints organic heavy cream, Oreo cookies, 4 x salami, organic garlic, 3 x organic bread crumbs



Tuesday (delivered): Dairy - $70

5 gallons milk, 2 quarts cream

You may wonder what we do with that much cream every week. The quarts I get from the dairy are mostly used for making ice cream, or sometimes in cooking (soups, sauces, biscuits, etc.). The cartons of heavy cream I buy at Trader Joe's are always used for making whipped cream in my whipped cream maker, such as for strawberry shortcakes.

Total for week 3: $649.99

Total for three weeks: $1,400.93


Starting this coming week, I am starting on getting ready dinners into the freezer. By the time baby comes, I'd like to have about 30 frozen dinners and 30 frozen breakfasts on hand, which allows me to not have to cook for about six weeks postpartum. I try to stay within my approximate $500/week budget in spite of buying the ingredients for these extra meals, which isn't too difficult because I spread it out over such a long period of time. Then when baby comes, we spend very little on food for the first 6 weeks (mostly just for dairy and fresh produce). The extra funds are usually needed for unforeseen expenses related to the baby, like a lactation consultation, unexpected doctor bills, etc.

Meals marked with an * are those which I made extras of to freeze. During the week of April 29 to May 5th, we ate:

Breakfasts:

Mon: leftover pancakes, chocolate oatmeal
Tue: Strawberry Shortcakes
Wed: PB & J oatmeal
Thu: PB Banana Muffins*
Fri: Overnight waffles w/ fresh berries
Sat: apple walnut waffles
Sun: Toast, eggs, sausage

 Dinners:

Mon: Ham, mashed potatoes, mixed veggies, Hawaiian rolls
Tue: Fish sticks
Wed: Ham and Bean soup*
Thu: Hungarian Bean soup*
Fri: Chicken Fettuccine a la fuente*
Sat: Chicken Paprika and spatzles*
Sun: leftovers


Other:

brownies (made by Miriam)



Peter loved the spatzles just plain with butter and salt. 



Buttermilk pancakes and fresh berries 


Monday, April 29, 2019

What we eat and spend on food in a month - Week 2 of 4

Week 1 here

I typically have a routine of getting most of my grocery shopping for the week done on Monday, with pit stops later in the week if necessary. I like to avoid leaving the house to run errands as much as possible. More trips to the store = more money spent, not to mention time wasted. This week, I went to the store even less than usual, due to ingredients left from the previous week, and just generally not wanting to make more shopping runs. 
Here is what we ate during the week of Apr. 22-28 (lots of carry-over from the previous week due to extra leftovers that week):

Breakfasts
Mon - leftovers (cinnamon rolls, scones)
Tue - Apple Walnut granola on yogurt w/ fresh strawberries
Wed - Poached eggs on avocado toast, banana milk
Thu - French Toast Bake w/ maple syrup
Fri - Chocolate Oatmeal
Sat - Puff Oven Pancake with jam
Sun - Buttermilk Pancakes with fresh berries

Dinners 
(I cook double and serve the leftovers for lunch the following day)

Mon - Easter dinner (ham and the usual sides)
Tue - Brioche bread sandwiches
Wed - Steaks, mashed potatoes, green beans
Thu - Mac & Cheese
Fri - Molasses oat bread sandwiches
Sat - leftover mac and cheese
Sun - Mongolian BBQ

Other
  Cinnamon walnut ice cream
Mayonnaise
Chicken broth
strawberry kombucha
Brioche dinner rolls
Brioche bread
molasses oat bread




Monday: Costco - $86.68

(ciabatta rolls, 2 pints blackberries, 2 pints raspberries, 4 lbs strawberries, 2 loaves sourdough bread, tortilla chips, 4 dozen eggs, 10 lbs bananas, 4 lbs baby carrots, 1 watermelon [the organic ones are finally in season - YAY!!!!], 1 pineapple, 10 lbs tangerines, 2 lbs string cheese)



Tuesday (delivered): Dairy - $40

3 gallons milk, 2 quarts cream. We typically go through 5 gallons of milk of milk each week, but my husband has been drinking less than usual so there was some left from the previous week.



Wednesday: Trader Joe's - $16.85

6 lbs onions, 4 bottles ginger ale (Boaz was feeling sick that day), 1 bag powdered sugar, 1 bag turbinado sugar (I use it in place of brown)



Sunday: Whole Foods and Sprouts - $28.54

There were originally two pints of blackberries, twice as many apples, and 5 bags of grapes. By the time I went to take a picture in the evening, they had disappeared. Also 2 bags of PB Chocolate Love Crunch granola that I forgot to include in the picture. 


Total spent for the week: $172.07

My target grocery budget is $500 per week. So while week 1 was almost $100 over, this week I was considerably under by using freezer/fridge/pantry staples rather than going to the store, and serving simpler meals of sandwiches for dinner.

I am currently working on another cookbook - "The Everyday Einkorn Baking Book". In the process, I am experimenting with a lot of recipes, so there is a lot of bread to consume in the process. My family doesn't mind - they call it "German dinner" when I serve platters of cold cuts, cheeses, veggies, and hardboiled eggs alongside freshly baked bread. Works for me!


And some pictures of our meals:




 Easter dinner - ham, mashed potatoes, scalloped potatoes, green bean casserole, peas and carrots, Hawaiian rolls. We had the Easter dinner the day after Easter


Puff oven pancake



Buttermilk Pancakes



Brioche dinner rolls

Tuesday, April 23, 2019

What we eat and spend on food in a month - Week 1 of 4

The topic of feeding a large family can be a fascinating one. Some questions I often see asked:

- What type of foods do you make?
- How much food do you make?
- How much money does it cost?
- How much time do you spend in the kitchen?
- Do you menu plan and use grocery lists?

To answer these questions and give you a glimpse of what things look like "on average" for us, I am doing a 4-week mini-series documenting what we eat and spend over the course of one month, broken into four weekly posts.

As to the types of food we eat and the menu planning, I use my very own cookbook, Busy Family Menu Planning



Each week contains 5 breakfasts, 5 dinners, and 1 dessert. You can find out more about the cookbook here, and even sign up to get Week 1 free. 



I add to these weekly menus by incorporating one or two other breakfasts and dinners each week that are either a special meal for holidays and birthdays, a new recipe I'm trying, etc. I also add a list of "other" foods I am making each week, such as bread, kombucha, broth, etc. 

The last couple of weeks, we had done Weeks 4 and 6 from the cookbook. Due to our schedule, some meals got pushed back so I finished up the odds and ends left from those two weeks.

Here is what was on the menu this past week (Apr. 15-21):

Breakfasts

Mon - Yogurt and granola parfaits
Tue - Breakfast Potato Skillet
Wed - Poached eggs on avocado toast, banana milk
Thu - Toast, breakfast sausages, eggs
Fri - Puff Oven Pancake with fresh berries
Sat - Chocolate Chip Orange Scones, Orange Julius
Sun - Marble Bundt Cake

Dinners 
(I cook double and serve the leftovers for lunch the following day)

Mon - Chicken Chili
Tue - Gyros
Wed - Sloppy Joes
Thu - Mac & Cheese
Fri - Steak Fajitas
Sat - Easter dinner (ham and the usual sides)
(we always serve it the night before b/c Sundays are too busy to cook or enjoy a large holiday meal)
Sun - Calzones

Other

Butter Pecan ice cream
Pico de gallo
applesauce donuts
Banana boats (made by Anna)
kombucha
Italian seasoning
hamburger buns

I also make a list of Weight Watchers friendly alternative breakfasts and dinners for myself, but will not include that list here as it's off topic and only applies to me.

Please note: That was what was on the menu. As it ended up, my two oldest boys ended up working late a couple of days last week and ate dinner out instead of at home, which made for extra leftovers (1 teen = 2 hungry adults), shifting some of last weeks menu items to the current week. We were also too busy on Saturday with church events to have the Easter dinner then, and pushed that back into the current week, so you will see those items again in the next post in this series. 

I try to do all of my shopping on weekday mornings, or better yet, online. I get one monthly delivery directly to my house from Azure Standard. I am a drop point for a local dairy which delivers to my house every Tuesday. I buy all of our beef from a local rancher that delivers every 4-6 months. Locally, I use Instacart to shop at Sprouts and Whole Foods. (The Instacart link will give you $10 off your first order if you are a new customer.)

That only leaves a few grocery stores I have to hit up in person: Costco (Instacart prices for Costco are higher than the store so I try to shop there in person to save money), Trader Joe's, Alpine Valley bakery outlet, and Superstition Ranch Farmers Market. Of these, I typically only go to Costco weekly, and get enough at the other stores to avoid going there but once every 2-4 weeks. 

Last week, with so many ingredients having shifted over from the previous two weeks, I already had a lot of ingredients in the house. For example, I didn't have to buy any meat last week because I already had plenty frozen on hand, as well as a large variety of produce, 6 dozen eggs, and many other staples. On the other hand, I bought extras for the Easter dinner, and ordered other foods that will last us longer than this week, such as the monthly Azure delivery.

Like I said in my previous blog post, we buy about 95% of our food organic, buying conventional only when an organic alternative is not available. This reflects in higher (though still very affordable) prices. 

Also, I am only including the cost of foods I purchased, not other things I got at the stores listed below. For instance, I bought Easter gifts for the kids and paper goods at Costco, as well as supplements, cleaning supplies, and other household goods at Whole Foods, Sprouts, and Azure. They are neither pictured nor included in the prices listed. 

I like to get to Costco 15 minutes before they open, so I can park my big van close to the store before things get crazy, and be in and out quickly. This also coincides with Peter's morning nap, so I can leave him home with my husband. I also leave the older kids home so they can do their school work, and only bring one big helper plus Stephen (6), Boaz (4) and Chloe (2). As much as possible, I try to stick to my list, and avoid any impulse purchases (a real temptation at Costco!). Having set meals and a prepared list helps me not to buy extras "just in case" I might need them or because I'm not sure if I'm low on a particular ingredient, since I know exactly what I actually need. 



Monday: Costco - total $119.82 

(3 lbs Greek yogurt, granola bars, crackers, tortilla chips, 5 lbs pears, 10 lbs tangerines, 10 lbs bananas, uncured deli chicken and ham, 4 lbs frozen cherries, 4 lbs strawberries, 1 lb blueberries, pineapple, seasoning mix, ciabatta rolls)


Monday: Whole Foods - $9.39

(1 lb uncured pepperoni. Isaac likes this for his lunches on days he's working.)


Monday (delivered): Sprouts - total $92.10 (including tip)

(granola for my husband, 4 dozen eggs, 4 Icelandic yogurts for myself, 1 gallon milk [I ran out last week and needed some for Mon night and Tue breakfast], 1 pint cream, marshmallows, 1 lb mini peanut butter chocolate cups [Anna needed these for her dessert], 1 lb tomatoes, 7 bell peppers, 1 lb kiwi, 6 lbs apples, 5 lbs potatoes, 2 lbs frozen corn, frozen pomegranate arils, garlic, 2 pints blackberries)



Tuesday (delivered): Dairy - 5 gallons milk, 2 quarts cream - $35

(The milk is normally $10/gallon, but I get the first 10 gallons each month at half-price, for $5 each, in return for being a local drop point where others can pick up their milk.)



Wednesday (delivered): Azure Standard - $186.77

(4.5 lbs mozzarella, 5 lbs corn masa, 2 lbs cream cheese, 15 lbs butter, 12 packs breakfast sausages, 5 lbs quick oats)



Wednesday: Trader Joe's - $123.37

(2 lbs corn, 1 lb salame, 3 lbs onions, 2 bottles Ranch dressing, 20 lbs Easter ham, 1 lb tomatoes, 1 box mushrooms, 10 lbs potatoes)




Friday: Sam's Club - $12.12

(3 lbs bananas, 2 lbs strawberries, 3 lbs kiwi - the kids eat a ton of fruit, so I typically buy a lot at the beginning of the week, and then add a little more fresh later in the week)


Total cost for week 1 of 4: $578.57

This is above my target budget of about $500/week, but weeks with holiday meals usually are (the hams alone were almost $100). Plus, like I said, I ended up shifting several of the meals over to the current week, including the big Easter dinner, so this weeks grocery bill will reflect that.

With that, I am feeding a total of 12 people: 2 adults (one pregnant), 3 teen boys (who each eat like two adults), and 7 kids (who eat like adults by the time they reach about age 8 or 10). So really not expensive considering I spend about $2.25 per person, per meal on average for eating mostly organic and all clean foods.

Thank you for reading, if you have come this far. Below are some pictures of the meals we had:



Chicken Chili


Poached Eggs on sourdough toast w/ avocado



 Cinnamon rolls, fruit pizza

Gyros



Chocolate chip orange scones



Steak fajitas, Spanish rice, refried beans


Friday, April 5, 2019

"I can't afford to eat organic"

Regular readers of this blog might know that our family eats 95% organic. This is not driven by religious conviction, nor a case of being food snobs, but the knowledge that garbage in = garbage out, and that every dollar saved on food that is not just inferior, but toxic, translates into many more dollars spent in doctors' offices.

Oftentimes, the objection is raised that organic food is too expensive to afford, because organic ingredients cost four times as much on average as conventional. I am here to propose that most people could afford to eat all organic, if they wanted it enough to make sacrifices in other areas to afford the increased food expense. 

Now again, this is not a question of "right or wrong," so if your priorities are different than ours, more power to you! But if eating organic is a high priority to you, I am here to assure you that chances are, you could make it work, at least gradually and more and more over time. As the saying goes, "When you find a destination, you find a way." 

The three biggest ways to afford eating organic are:

- Stop eating out
- Cook from scratch
- Save in other areas

1. Stop eating out

By this, I literally mean stop eating out altogether. This is a radical idea to most Americans, where eating out is a regular staple, and drive-thru is a critical component of feeding the family. But what if I told you it doesn't have to be this way? The whole rest of the world functions just fine eating every meal at home. Growing up, it was a very rare occurrence for us to eat out. We packed a snack for school, and got out of school in time every day (1 p.m.) to have lunch at home. If we went on a trip, we packed a sack lunch or picnic. On vacation, my mom cooked. I didn't feel like I was missing out, because I wasn't. 

Obviously, any home-cooked organic meal is going to be a lot cheaper than any food purchased at any sit-down restaurant. But I am here to prove that even the cheapest drive-thru off the Dollar Menu costs more than cooking from scratch with organic ingredients (see end of this post, where I do a price breakdown).

How do you prevent eating out? Plan to be home for mealtimes, teach kids not to expect to eat between meals (no snacking), make a weekly menu so you have a plan for every meal of the day, and remind yourself of the financial and health costs of eating out.

For me, there is zero temptation to quickly drive through somewhere when our errands took longer than expected, and hungry kids are growing impatient. When you eat well at home, eating out has far less appeal, and McDonald's and the like has zero appeal. We have not eaten there (or any other junky fast food place like Burger King, Taco Bell, Wendy's, Jack in the Box, etc.) in at least a dozen years, and short of a survival situation, I have no plans to ever go there again. I wouldn't even eat there if they offered free food. It's not just expensive, but also tastes gross and is incredibly unhealthy. 

Recently, while we were displaced from our home for 4 months, we were forced to eat out far more than usual, and by the end of it all of our health was suffering. After just a month back home, we are all feeling much better again. The quality of what you eat really does make a noticeable difference. 

But what about those special occasions, when you just want to eat out to make it more special? Well, chances are, there are times when you receive gift cards for restaurants, especially if others know you prefer quality family time over more stuff and clutter. When we eat out, it is virtually always from such gift cards. You can look forward to those times as even more special when they are less frequent, and you won't feel like you are being wasteful since it was a gift. 


2. Cook from scratch

By "from scratch," I mean with as basic of ingredients as possible. That means as few boxed, canned, and jarred ingredients as possible, such as making your own spaghetti sauce instead of buying it ready, buying large blocks of cheese instead of pre-shredded and sliced, etc. 

Along with this goes shopping sales, buying in season, stocking up on bulk items when they are at their lowest price, and off-setting recipes that are more expensive with those that use cheaper ingredients. There are many posts on this blog with ideas how to save money by shopping sales, through co-ops, online such as Azure Standard, etc. Basically, you want to cut out as many middlemen as you can, each of whom adds their own profit margin. 

Resources vary greatly depending where you live. In Arizona, "99 cents only" stores always carry organic produce, some more than others. Alpine Valley Bakery sells direct to the public in a little outlet store in Mesa, where loaves of organic breads that sell for $6 at Whole Foods are anywhere from $.50 to $1.50 each. Superstition Ranch Farmers Market in the east valley has some of the lowest prices on produce in the area, including on organic items. There is a produce program operated by Borderlands Foods Bank where they sell 60 lbs of rescued produce for $12 at locations throughout the Valley, which funds are then used to operate their food banks. Sprouts has double-ad days on Wednesdays, which means both the previous as well as the upcoming week's sales are valid. Costco is the largest seller of organic foods nationwide, with prices that often rival conventional at supermarkets. On and on - to find resources in your area, you might want to join a local "crunchy" Facebook group. Each area has these resources, you just have to find them, rather than shopping over the counter for everything at a supermarket like Whole Foods. Not to knock Whole Foods, as they do have some great prices and sales in their stores, but it's the exception not the norm. 


Purchased this week at Superstition Ranch Farmer's Market in Mesa for $26.88 total - 6 x 3 lbs gold potatoes ($1.49 each), 4 x cherry tomatoes ($.99 each), 2 lbs mini peppers ($1.99 each), 8 orange bell peppers ($.79 each), bean sprouts ($1.79), Romaine hearts ($1.89)


Proper planning will prevent much frustration. If you are shopping with kids, the best time to go to the store is after breakfast on a weekday. Stores are at their emptiest, kids are fed and rested, traffic is a breeze - basically, you are setting yourself up for maximum success at minimal risk of frustration. Better yet, if you live in an area that has Instacart or a similar grocery delivery service, use it! In our area, for most stores, prices are the same as in-store. You will save time, effort, gas, and not run the risk of impulse shopping. 

Another area of planning is menu planning. Menu planning and shopping accordingly will prevent trying to figure out at 5 p.m. what to serve for dinner, only to make a run for pizza (again). Of course I am biased, but I LOVE my "Busy Family Menu Planning" cookbook I published a few months ago. I myself use those exact menus and recipes every week. It saves time, mental energy, and money. I have received nothing but rave reviews. You can now even purchase a printable version of the weekly menus and shopping lists (not the recipes), which makes it a snap to add ingredients or notes, and to pin each week's menu to the fridge for easy reference. In the back, the cookbook contains a long section of staples that can be purchased ready, or made yourself for a fraction of the cost, such as homemade bone broth. 




Finally, not buying foods that offer only "fun factor" and zero nutritional value can save a lot more money. This includes all soda, juices, and other "diabetes in a bottle" beverages (alternatives: water, unsweetened fruit and herbal teas, kombucha, etc.), unhealthy snack foods such as chips, crackers, ice cream, cookies, etc. (alternatives: no snacking, fruit, cheese sticks, yogurt, etc.), and last minute impulse-purchases to appease tantrums and bribe kids.



3. Save in other areas

Many frugal families already cut costs in all possible areas, such as not having cable TV, having an affordable home and vehicles, etc. so I won't belabor those points here. 

The only area I would like to point to, because it is directly related to the quality of food, is healthcare costs. Every penny saved by eating inferior foods will be spent (and then some) on higher doctor bills, whether that be for chronic health conditions, allergies, cancer, behavioral issues, etc. that are triggered by toxins in conventional food.

Most families, if they took the total cost of what they spend on all food (eating out included) and health care (health insurance plus bills not covered) would find they spend at least as much per capita as we do in our family. We have been members of Samaritan Ministries for years, and absolutely love it. Due to our family size and coverage level, we are in the most expensive tier, at $495 per month. Add to that about $2,500.00 per month for food, for a total of $3,000.00 per month for a family of 12, or about $250 per month per person. I am certain that factoring in all food and healthcare costs, the average family spends as much or more than we do per capita each month. 

(Side note: our dental insurance is covered through my husband's job. Checkups and cleanings are free, and while we have a copay for additional work done, we have not had to have any fillings in any of the kids in years since cutting out whole grains, so dental insurance is not an additional expense.)

While our food cost might seem astronomical to those with smaller families, even including all our healthcare spending, it works out to just under $50 per person, per week, which is slightly less than the national per capita average of $51 per week for food alone (source), and that's in spite of the fact that the vast majority of people eat conventional food and spend far more than we do on healthcare.

Consider also that back when our family size was the norm, in 1900, people on average spent 40% of their income on food, vs. just 6-10% now. The same is true for our family. The largest budget item by far is our food spending. Income-wise, considering that the "National Poverty Guidelines" for a family our size is shockingly a whopping $65,530 per year, we would definitely not be considered well off or even above average income. We save a lot of money each month by living in a modest home (about 1,600 sq ft) at rock-bottom interest thanks to impeccable credit. (Side note: We do not, nor have ever, used any government welfare programs.)

During this same time frame (1900 to today), the percentage for healthcare spending has skyrocketed, right along with rates of chronic conditions and cancer. You get what you pay for. Modern pesticides, fertilizers, and GMO foods have drastically reduced food costs, but the quality of such food is greatly diminished, and this "savings" shows up in the form of medical bills. We for one would rather spend the money on groceries than doctor bills. 





And now, just for grins, let me break down tonight's dinner, homemade Chick-Fil-A sandwiches with fresh fries.


The picture dwarfs it, but this is a 10" dinner plate with standard-size hamburger buns. In other words, A LOT of food. 

This is a pretty typical meal at our house and definitely not one of my "budget meals" because it's heavy on two expensive ingredients (chicken breast and palm oil). Also, I always make enough food for dinner one night, and lunch the next day, so the ingredients listed here will feed all 12 of us two meals, for a total of 24 servings. Every single ingredient was organic, expect for the tomatoes which were free (I had ordered organic on Instacart, they delivered conventional by mistake, and refunded the purchase price.)

6 lbs chicken breast ($5.50/lb) - $33
1 lb Einkorn flour - $3
seasonings and spices - $1
4 eggs - $.60
3 packs hamburger buns ($1.50 each) - $4.50
1 head romaine - $.63
1 lb tomatoes - free
12 lbs potatoes - $6
4 lbs palm shortening for frying - $7.24
condiments (ketchup, honey mustard) - $4

Total cost: $59.97 or $2.50 per person, per meal 

Please consider that this includes one grown man (my husband) and three teenage boys (who each eat twice as much as my husband does - literally, no joke), which more than averages out the fact that the little kids eat less. 

(If you liked this price comparison, I did another one a few years ago that you can read here, with a follow-up here.)

Now tell me, could you feed a family of 12 for $30, even at McDonald's? Who can fill their family members with $2.50 worth of items off the Dollar Menu? 







As the old saying goes, "Where there's a will, there's a way." Like I said, eating healthy is not a matter of right or wrong (unless you are grossly gluttonous), so this is more of a personal conviction. This post is intended to inspire you to find ways to make it work if eating healthy and organic is a high priority of yours. We can't imagine eating any other way. It's just too expensive not to. 

Caveat: I know there are countless families out there who already observe all tips mentioned above, and their budget is maxed out buying conventional. If that's you, please don't feel bad. You can only do what you can do with what you have been given. God can bless you with excellent health if you are good steward of the things you have been provided, no matter your circumstances. This post is intended for the average American, who spends twice as much money each month on fun drinks and snacks than they do on fresh fruits and vegetables. 

P.S. No hating on the paper plate. I can only run the dishwasher so many times per day. Dixie paper goods are what Amazon now labels "attractive modern romance." So in our house now, we eat a lot of food off the "romantic," rather than the "real" dishes. I mean, what's more romantic than not having to do dishes, right??!?