Another Q & A

I know you said you do not have a television in your home, but I know you read the news, and I was wondering if you had an opinion on the John and Kate plus 8 happenings. I for one have no respect for a mother who uses her children for her own personal gain, but I wanted to know if you had an opinion on it, and what it was.

I do indeed have an opinion, but it is just that - an opinion. Since I don't know practically anything about the family, and what I do know about them I got through the public media, I really don't know anything at all. Having been on the receiving end of how deceptive the media can be, I am cautious to believe anything they say about any subject.

Having said that, I think it is sad that their family has fallen apart, although I would not try to play the blame game. Both parents seem to have their own set of issues, and the kids are caught in the middle of it. Ultimately, though, I think that the husband has the role of taking charge in the home and making sure the ship stays afloat.

As far as using children for financial gain, that is an interesting subject. We own a business, and as our kids get older and more able (i.e. young teenagers) I am sure that we will expect them to help and pitch in without being paid, or paid as much as an employee would. Children the world over throughout history have been expected to help the family. I read that the Amish say a child is a liability until they are 7, that they pull their own weight until they are 14, and bring the family profit after that, and I think there is a lot of truth in that. I think the question should rather be, would anybody want cameras filming their children regularly and plastering their personal lives on TV for financial gain? I for one certainly wouldn't. But I think it is a better option than to leave the kids to rot in daycare while both parents go to work to pay for a family of ten. I do not watch the Jon & Kate episodes, but I do watch the Duggar shows on Amazon every week, and find them entertaining/encouraging/informative. But would I do it? No.


I was just curious, after I read the bit about China, do you ever discuss other religions with your children?

I don't mean this is a 'nasty' way or anything, just wondering. When I was in school I was always fascinated by other people's religions and what they believed.

I've known several families who would discuss other religions and how it was different from their own, etc etc.

That's a good question. Yes, we do touch on the major world religions as we learn about different countries. We don't waste our time doing any in-depth studies, just a brief synopsis and then tie it in with the Bible, talking about how the religion differs from God's word and making it clear that they are false religions.

The world's religions are not that different from one another, as they all have one major common theme: What must man do in order to go to heaven or reach some other state of higher existence? True Bible Christianity says that God has already done everything, and offers it to us as a free gift that is simply received by faith.

Other cultures have always fascinated me, and back when I was in college (before I was a Christian) I studied Cultural Anthropology.


I have an unrelated question for you - as a new mom and baby-wearer I have been very thankful for your post on different slings/wraps/etc. I remember you saying that you were in the process of making a mei-tai though. Did you make one? How do you like it? I am getting one soon so I'm curious what you think of yours. :)

Yes, I made one, and yes, I like it, but I didn't end up using it much. When the baby was very little, she was more comfortable in a wrap. By the time she was big enough to be comfortable in the mei tai, I usually would use the ring sling because it was faster and more convenient for me. The mei tai is not my first choice of favorite carrier, but everybody has different preferences. Maybe you could borrow different slings and see which type you like best.


I remember reading somewhere on your blog that your kids rarely get sick or have to visit the doctor. Recently i've been catching colds left and right, and I was wondering how to you keep your family so healthy? My mom usually buys organic/"healthy" foods at the grocery store and I stay pretty active so what's your secret? I really hope you respond because I can't take another runny nose!

Your best chances of avoiding a cold/flu is sufficient rest, lots of vitamin C from fresh fruits (not vitamins or ready juice), and washing your hands frequently with mild (not antibacterial) soap.

I think the number 1, 2, 3, 4, and 5 reason why we rarely get ill is due to life style. It is NOT because we are isolated (we are not), never go in public (we go to several public places every single day), or are just a rare exception of health. Diet plays a huge role. We always ate mostly at home, cooked from scratch, with whole foods ingredients. We would all get a mild cold about once a year.

Several months ago, we switched to 100% organic foods, and have tried to eliminate eating out as much as possible. I also try to use all natural body care and household products in an effort to eliminate toxins. Organic foods have not been genetically altered, and are grown without pesticides, herbicides, and artificial fertilizers. We only consume raw dairy products, which are much easier on the immune system. I am currently working on a blog post about how to afford organic without spending a fortune.

None of us has become sick in over a year in spite of people all around us being ill frequently. I have lots of energy and feel great, even on limited sleep and working with 5 young children every day with little help from anyone (including my busy husband). I have no family living nearby, so while other moms cannot even function unless they can pawn off their children on Grandma regularly, I am planting a garden, replacing the flooring, or working on some other major project almost all of the time with all the kids there with me 24 hours every single day. On average, I work from 5 or 6 AM until 9 or 10 PM every single day, with few breaks in between, yet I am in perfect health. It's not because I'm supermom, it's because I eat well. Even one meal eaten out at a semi-decent fast casual place will make me tired and sluggish for the rest of the day, and fast food makes me downright ill.

A great book to read to learn about nutrition is "Nourishing Traditions" by Sally Fallon. Two great documentaries about what is wrong with the food in the US, most notably genetically engineered food, are "The Future of Food" and "Food Inc.". Both are available for purchase or online viewing on Amazon.



This is the link to the trailer for "Food Inc." (embedding has been disabled on YouTube). Below is a clip of the first few minutes of the film. I saw it at the theater this summer when it first came out, and just like it promises, I never looked at dinner the same way again. I walked out of there and immediately made changes to switch us over to all-organic foods as quickly as possible by shopping and eating differently. Since then, I have not set foot in a supermarket ever again for more than a couple of minutes a handful of times to pick up an organic staple that I ran out of unexpectedly. Food Inc. was just released on DVD this week, and I highly recommend it.




What is your opinion about dental care for yourself and your children?

As with everything pertaining to medicine, I think prevention is the key. Proper nutrition and hygiene will prevent most if not all dental problems in children and young people. Of course, we do see a dentist if there is a need. The one we use was highly recommended to us by my midwife, and it's worth the 1 hour drive each way to have a trustworthy doctor who is not just trying to make business for herself.


Thank you to all who have written and asked my opinion. This is just what I think, and I make no claims to have the right answers and views on any and all subjects.

Baby slings 101

I have been meaning to write a post on the various kinds of slings for carrying babies. Well, here it is! Please feel free to e-mail me (see my full profile, then click "Contact Me") with any questions you may have.

First off, let me warn you: most Moms who buy a sling never end up using it because they don't realize that babies only take to slings if they are used right from the start. It's kind of like swaddling - babies love it if you do it from birth, but probably won't if you try it for the first time when they are 4 months old. They also don't realize that it takes practice and dedication to figure out how to use a sling correctly. Since all our kids are two years or less apart in age, and they all love to nurse every hour or so, it was a necessity for me to make slings work (Either that, or the older kids would have nobody to care and cook for them because I would have my hands full of the newborn at all times.) Other methods of soothing a fussy baby, such as swings, bouncers, etc. are all more expensive, take up more space, and will not make you bond with your baby near as much. The baby will learn early on to depend on "things" for comfort rather than on Mom. If you let the baby sleep in the swing for three hours you will probably feel guilty, wondering if he gets brain damage from the motion (he won't!). But if he sleeps for that long in the sling snuggled up against you, you both will feel blissful. In fact, you can even lie back with the baby right on top of you and catch a nap yourself. Another advantage of carrying newborns most of the day is that it develops and trains their sense of equilibrium (which the aforementioned gadgets do not). All our kids started crawling around the time they were 6 moths old, and walking around 9-11 months - this is two months earlier than the average, but very typical of babies who are carried a lot as newborns. So whatever extra effort it takes in the beginning is made up for by the fact that the babies become independent sooner.

I would say that most of my baby-carrying is over by the time the baby is 6-8 months old. They don't care for it too much once they know how to get around, and I am glad to have my hands and back free. So I am not suggesting you carry your 3-year old on your hip everywhere you go, I am just saying that it is very beneficial for young babies, as well as older babies when they are sick or out of their element while traveling etc.

Before you go out and spend a bunch of money on a fancy sling, sew one yourself if you know how to. If you don't, do some research online, and talk to moms that you see in public carrying their baby in a sling. They will be more than happy to let you pick their brain. A great website that shows all different sling types and their carrying instructions, as well as sells every commonly available brand, is www.peppermint.com

There are basically 4 different types of slings available. (I am not talking about the typical baby carriers that you would find at a baby store, such as a Snugli or Baby Bjorn. None of our newborns ever liked these, are they are not suitable for breastfeeding.)

1) Adjustable ring slings - come in padded or unpadded

Basic design: A long piece of fabric, with two rings sewed into one end. The other end of the fabric is looped through the rings. You can make the sling tighter by pulling down on the "tail" (extra fabric) that will be hanging out the rings. If the sling in padded it will have a soft pad that goes across your upper back, as well as have padded rails (the long sides of the fabric). Personally, I have not found a difference in wearing comfort between the two types.

To wear: Place rings on front and side of collarbone (where you would pin a brooch), spread fabric over shoulder and across back. You can wear the sling on the right or left shoulder, whichever you find more comfortable.

To nurse: Some women use this standard position to nurse, but I find it does not offer enough privacy if the tail of the sling is sewn together (as is the case on ready-bought padded slings). Unpadded slings on the other hand often have a tail that can be pulled open as a nursing cover. In the 3rd picture below, I was using a padded sling with a sewn-up tail, so I put the sling on backwards to nurse. For example, if I want to feed the baby on the right side, I will put the rings on my left waist, with the widest part of fabric covering my entire front and back, and going over my right shoulder. This position does not support the baby as well, but if I have to I can still hold the baby with my right arm (inside the sling), walk around, and have my left arm mostly free. Vice versa if you feed on the left.

Advantages:
- easy to slip on and take off
- not too bulky
- great for breastfeeding discretely
- can be found at pretty much any baby store, as well as easily found used
- inexpensive
- doubles as a blanket when "unhooked"
- the unpadded type can easily be sewn

Disadvantages:
- weight is not evenly distributed across both shoulders
- baby is not held quite as securely as with other slings, so it's good to keep one hand on the baby at all times
- back carry is not feasible (in spite of what the manufacturer says)

Personal experience: Although not the most comfortable, this is certainly my most used type of sling because I am out and about a lot. Therefore, the fact that it is easy to put on and is great for breastfeeding, makes this my #1 choice for when I am away from home. It is a staple in my van.

The first three photos show Miriam at 7 months of age during our family vacation to California. The last two are of John when he was a couple of months old (taken in Indiana).






2) Non-adjustable tube slings

Basic design: Similar to the previous design, except there are no rings and the ends of the fabric are sewn together, creating a tube or pouch.

To wear: Slip tube over head, pull one arm through so that one end of the tube rests on one shoulder, the other end of the tube across the opposite waist.

To nurse: I would not recommend it unless you have a blanket to cover the baby with. The sling itself offers little discretion because there is no extra fabric to fan out over the baby.

Advantages:
- easy to slip on and take off
- very small and light-weight (easily fits in a purse)
- nice on hot days
- never needs to be adjusted (Note: As the baby grows larger, you will likely be losing the pregnancy weight. The two seem to cancel each other out nicely because although these slings are tailor-made, they will fit well even as the baby gets older.)
- can be sewn quite easily

Disadvantages:
- weight is not evenly distributed across both shoulders
- baby is not held quite as securely as with other slings, so it's a good idea to keep one hand on the baby at all times
- back carry is not feasible
- expensive if bought ready because they have to be tailored to your size
- not suitable for breastfeeding

Personal experience: My least favorite sling, although I do like to use it at home when the weather is hot and I don't want the extra bulk of a wrap.


3) Wraps

Basic design: A 13-15 ft length of fabric, about 30-45" wide. The fabric is usually light-weight and woven diagonally to give it some stretch while still being very strong.

To wear: There are dozens of ways to tie the baby to the front, back, or side, as well as for nursing. Lots of information can be found online.

To nurse: Lots of different positions. The positions for nursing newborns are the easiest and most discreet - they actually allow you to tie the baby to yourself and use the wrap as a cover for both mom and baby, so the little one can eat and sleep whenever they feel like it, and nobody will ever know. This is easiest if mom is wearing a nursing top.

Advantages:
- very comfortable because weight is distributed across both shoulders
- lots of different carrying positions to accommodate babies' preferences
- great for breastfeeding newborns around the clock while keeping your hands free
- holds baby VERY securely, allowing you to have both arms free at all times
- great for carrying baby on back
- doubles as a blanket (you can also buy special rings to turn it into a hammock)
- makes carrying an older baby or toddler easy

Disadvantages:
- the long fabric can be hard to handle, especially in public
- can be hot in the summer
- takes some time to learn different ways of tying the sling
- learning the back carry positions is a little tricky
- expensive
- usually only found at online specialty stores
- gives you an "ethnic" look
- hard to find the right fabric to sew yourself

Personal experience: Without doubt, I find this to be the most comfortable carrier. It is my favorite choice to use with newborns (both at home and on the go) because it leaves both my arms free and keeps the baby happy when all they want is to eat, sleep, and be held. As the baby gets older I only use it at home because tying it in public without dragging it through the dirt is a little tricky. (Alternatively, some positions allow you to wear the sling even when the baby is not in it, and you won't have to tie it in public. But people will give you funny looks because it does look a little strange. Not that I really care, though.) My favorite brands are Girasol and Didymos.

In the first 3 pictures below, I am carrying Miriam at 10 months of age quite effortless - she was sick and wanting to be held all day. The other pictures are from Isaac's 2nd birthday (in Indiana) at which time John was just a few weeks old. Not only did I carry John in the sling in the weeks before when I was decorating and getting ready for the party, but he also slept in there the whole party while I entertained about 30 guests, did games with the kids, painted their faces, etc.









4) Asian-style carriers (mae/mei tai wrap)

Basic design: Kind of a cross-over between a wrap and a typical baby carrier (such as a Baby Bjorn). Basically a pouch in the front, with straps that are tied around the back and waist rather than the clips of typical baby carriers. Straps can be as wide as a wrap.

To wear: Again, best to get the many different directions online.

To nurse: Not really feasible for older babies because not very discreet.

Advantages:
- less fabric than a wrap
- more comfortable than a sling because it uses both shoulders
- easy to put on in public
- lots of different carrying positions to accommodate babies' preferences
- holds baby VERY securely, allowing you to have both arms free at all times
- great for carrying baby on back
- makes carrying an older baby or toddler easy
- can be sewn fairly easily

Disadvantages:
- expensive
- usually only found at online specialty stores
- gives you an "ethnic" look
- not feasible for breastfeeding

Personal experience: None yet. I am in the middle of sewing one of these to try out with the new baby.