We moved into our home in Tempe in December of 2005, when we had just three kids: Solomon (4), Isaac (2), and John (12 months).
As our family grew, we kept finding ways to make our home work for us, including enclosing the patio to make a school/dining room, and enclosing the carport to make our tiny second bathroom into a large master bath. You can see a video of how we made it work with 13 people in 1,650 sq ft here.
We had been weighing the pros and cons of moving for years, but always decided to stay. This summer, with 11 kids ages 19 down to 1, the scale tipped in favor of moving. I will do a longer video on our reasons for moving, and what finally pushed us over the edge.
Today, for the sake of nostalgia, I am sharing a walkthrough video of our home of so many years. Enjoy!
Now that we seasoned home educators everywhere have sufficiently chuckled and needled at the fact that suddenly, homeschooling is the new government mandate, I wanted to pause and clarify that crisis homeschooling is very different from real-life home education.
We are not locked up at home all day
Parents who unexpectedly find themselves locked up at home most of the day with kids that are usually gone might be on the brink of losing their minds. If being on lockdown all day, every day were what homeschooling in real life looked like, I dare say few of us would choose it. No, it does not make you a bad mom to not want to be within touching distance of needy people all day without any outside activities or distractions.
The fact of the matter is that most homeschool families are very involved in outside activities, and often spend time away from home on a daily basis. That could be anything ranging from co-op classes, to field trips, P.E. groups, and extracurricular interests such as chess, theater, speech and debate, archery, ballroom dancing, music lessons, craft classes, and on and on. And that's to say nothing of leaving the house for everyday activities such as shopping and running errands.
Being on home confinement as an adult is hard enough for many. Being on lockdown unexpectedly with a house full of kids is NOT typical homeschooling.
We socialize with others on a grand scale
The most commonly expressed concern with homeschooling is "socialization," i.e. making sure that kids grow up as part of, and integrated into, society. This as opposed to being a misanthropic recluse. I have met a few of the latter, incidentally none of whom had been home educated themselves.
That's because in real life, home educated students are actually exposed to infinitely MORE people than students locked in a classroom for most of the day. In school, kids are mostly only able to socialize with other children, of their own age and aptitude. In real life, home educated kids interact with siblings of all ages and grade levels, observe working adults in the real world, get to spend more time with extended family, and are exposed all day long to the full gamut of those who make up society, including fringe demographics like the homeless or people with disabilities.
Hands down, home education is far more socially diverse and inclusive than a classroom setting ever could be. To suddenly be isolated is challenging for everyone, including homeschoolers, as this is entirely opposite our normal lives.
It is well-planned
Aside from a few exceptions, most parents who choose to home educate do so out of concern for their child's education and well-being. We are responsible parents who take initiative, fully realizing that if we take our kids out of school, it is now up to us to make sure they get a solid education. As a result, we spend many hours researching the best curriculum to match our kids' individual learning styles and aptitudes. We attend homeschool conventions, read every book available on the topic, connect with our local homeschool communities, and otherwise do all in our power to be fully equipped.
We already have textbooks, lesson plans, and daily routines we rely on. No need to wait on the school district to figure out which way is up, how to switch from classroom to virtual teaching, no need to wait for laptops to be issued, etc. We know where our kids are at in each of their subjects, and stand ready to help them since we have been by their side, educationally speaking, the entire time. There is no learning curve or sudden adjustment. Our approach is not haphazard, we are not panicked or insecure, and we don't view this educational approach as an emergency measure, a band-aid until the school system bails us out.
In other words, this is "just another day at the office" for us.
We were not thrust into this
Those of us who have been homeschooling for years were not thrust into this lifestyle overnight, thrown into the deep end of an ice-cold pool as it were. Most of us had a gentle, gradual, planned entry. This is especially true for those of us who have been home educators all along, since we started with just one kindergarten student.
This has repercussions in countless areas: we are accustomed to cooking for and feeding our kids three meals a day, rather than relying on school to provide lunch and in most cases even breakfast. Our homes are set up to handle people living in it all day long. Our routines are based on having kids around, rather than being kid-free most of the day. Our parenting and discipline are such that we can handle being around our kids, all of them, all day long without life becoming one long, miserable countdown to bedtime.
Most importantly, we CHOSE homeschooling. It was not foisted on us, unexpectedly, in the middle of a world-wide pandemic, amidst unprecedented measures and the anxieties they produce.
How are the current situation and regular home education alike?
Take heart, there are some things that are the same. We all are far from being perfect parents, doing our best. We all can only make it by the grace of God. We all could do better. We all get irritated by and tired of our kids at some point. We all second-guess ourselves daily. We all have kids who resist learning and feign cluelessness to wiggle out of school work or other responsibilities. We all think our kids are the best, smartest, and cutest in the world. We all love them with all of our hearts and want only the best for them.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This post was inspired by a German news article I read this morning. The German ministers responsible for education are actually using the English word "homeschooling" to refer to the current state of education, in which parents are to continue their kids' education at home with textbook assignments sent through online portals (but no online teaching). Imagine the irony in that! For decades, Germany has been one of a few European countries where homeschooling is not just illegal, but actively squelched. Parents who choose to home educate anyway face anything from government harassment to fines to termination of parental rights or even imprisonment. It would be unfathomable to see children of school age accompany their parents in public spaces during school hours. Those who home educate have to do so in secrecy and fear, not the freedom and widespread acceptance we are accustomed to here in the US and other parts of the world.
Even now, those same German authorities are stressing the fact that this "homeschooling" situation is temporary, because children need social interactions beyond their immediate family. Whoa there, Sherlock! Tell us something we don't know. To compare unexpectedly doing school at home while being locked up with little to no outside activities or interactions to homeschooling is unfair and deceptive.
If you had considered home education in the past, but this current crisis has you pulling your hair out, please do not let it dissuade you from pursuing homeschooling in the future. This is NOT our normal.
You can get a PFD of a free semester preview on my website, Read Yourself an Education. Alternatively, you can utilize the "Look Inside" feature on Amazon.
This project has been a long time in the making. I wrote the curriculum I always wanted to have myself, but couldn't find. We have been using the unit-study based approach in this book for about a decade now, and it is our favorite way to learn together as a family.
Please consider giving the free preview a try. I am certain you will LOVE learning this way!
I am excited to announce that I have released a free pdf version of the first semester of my new homeschool book, "Read Yourself an Education, Volume 1 - Around the World, Country by Country."
The full version is due to be released through Amazon later this fall. In the meantime, the pdf will allow you to get started using the book for the upcoming 2019/20 school year, if you so wish.
I am looking for volunteer testers for my new book series, "Read Yourself an Education - Volume 1: Country by Country Around the Globe", to be released later this year.
I would like to get feedback on the overall concept, layout, content, user-friendliness etc. from real homeschool moms.
The book is intended for literature-based unit studies. This means that all students, regardless of grade level, study a common topic (in this case geography-based), each at their own learning level. Books (rather than textbooks) are used as the primary source of learning.
My book is a compilation of extensive book suggestions for each chapter, complete with short descriptions, and the catalog number for public libraries in the US to make locating the books fast and easy.
I have six different chapters available for review:
From the section "The World (general)":
- Basic geography: The continents and oceans
- World exploration and using a map
- Global perspective: Life in other countries
From the section "Asia":
- China
- Koreas
- Japan
Each chapter covers enough material for about 2 weeks of learning, tying in history, geography, social studies, science, literature, and related activities. Resources are included for all grades K-12. (The only thing not included is grade-specific Math and English.)
For your reference, I will also include the book introduction in each section being reviewed.
If you are interested,
- have at least one child in 3rd grade or higher
- with at least 2 years of homeschool experience,
- have access to a local library with an average or better selection,
- would be available to give one of the chapters a trial run during the weeks of May 20 - June 1st, and then
- share your feedback with me,
please comment below (will not be published) or message me on Facebookto let me know which chapter you would like to try out. Please choose only one so you can really put it to the test. You would need to take a trip to your library to locate the suggested books. If I do not know you in real life, please include a couple of sentences about yourself and your homeschool in your message to me. IMPORTANT: Please include your email address to send the pdf file of your chosen chapter to.
Disclaimer:The first chapter, "Basic geography: The continents and oceans," has limited book suggestions of books available at public libraries due to the fact that library books tend to be steeped in evolution. There are suggestions for books to purchase, which you are under no obligation to do for your chapter review. The chapter does contain topic-related picture and other fiction books.
Future volumes, Lord willing, will follow the same general concept and layout, each covering material for 2 years:
Volume 2: State by state around the US
Volume 3: World History
Volume 4: US History
Volume 5: Companion book that will contain lists of fiction books sorted by age group and author
Radical unschooling is the unholy union of these two concepts. If you thought both ideas by themselves were dangerous and foolish, the fallout of parenting failure when they are combined is exponential.
In a nutshell, "radical unschooling" means that parents do not enforce any rules for their kids, in ANY area of life, ever. You read that right. Kids do whatever they want, whenever they want. They have no set bed times, eat what they want when they want, are never forced or even coerced to obey their parents, have full 'body autonomy' including deciding if they want to shave their head at age 3 or if and when to take medicine, are not expected to do any school work, and are basically NEVER made to do anything they don't want to do. The parents' job is to cater to the child's every whim and thus enable them to turn into the wonderful humans they were destined to be. Except they don't. They grow into the wicked, entitled, lazy, spoiled young adults we see everywhere these days.
The 'philosophy' behind this (un?)parenting is that children are born innately wise, intuitive, pure, and sinless, and that if given the freedom to make their own choices not influenced by corrupted adults who are already messed up from 'authoritarian parenting,' they will naturally choose what is best and wisest for them.
Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him. (Proverbs 22:15)
The moms who fall for this nonsense then post on social media, wondering why their feral kids act like animals. They ask such deep questions as how to get their kids to stop playing video games and go to bed before the wee hours of the morning ("Don't worry, that's normal!"), how to stop their kids from eating only junk food ("Don't worry, that's normal!), how to stop their kids from assaulting others ("Don't worry, that's normal!"), how to stop a tantrum ("Don't worry, it's normal!) - you name it, it's all normal, and something kids will grow out of over time. Until then, hugs, good vibes, and lots of good luck to you!
"How would you all handle a 2 1/2 year old having a melt down in the
middle of the night because you say no more breastfeeding so you can get
some sleep? My toddler is getting worse with punching me very hard and
spitting in my face. I try to push him away on the bed and he comes back
fighting. I try to hold him and comfort him but he comes back fighting.
He ends up crying to sleep. Am I just supposed to lay there and be
punched/spit on? He doesn't listen to any words or reason. His raging
wakes everyone since we all share a bed. I don't know what else to do."
What else to do? What has she done??? Comfort him in response to being assaulted? One person recommended "keeping a hand towel nearby for the spitting." Another wondered why the mom would wean the child at such a young age - mom should just take a nap in the afternoon to make up for lost night sleep.
If that same little tyrant were 160 lbs and 16-years old, he would kill his mother in a fit of rage. The only thing that is preventing him from doing so now is because he is lacking the physical strength, not the fact that he doesn't despise her THAT MUCH.
My three (turning four in March) year old has started to self harm to
express anger, in the form of biting or scratching herself. She uses
this almost as a threat i.e. "I'm mad. I'm going to bite myself!"
This style of parenting is nothing short of child abuse. Children without boundaries and consequences are the most miserable creatures. They grow up to loathe others and themselves, are loathed by others, and daydream about suicide.
My 9 year old wants her nose pierced and I told her not until she's 13 or 14.. Is that a reasonable RU response?
The overwhelming majority of responses were along the lines of "let her, and explore why you are so conflicted about her choice."
On the subject of natural consequences, how to handle stealing. My 11 yo
took $10 of mine, lied until I stared her down long enough that she
reached into her pocket & gave it back. [...] She does these "types" of
things often.
General responses were: give her more allowance, figure out what she needs the money for, ask why she 'had' to steal it, and show her disappointment as the most effective punishment.
I could go on with horror stories from these insane parents. When dealing with the unsaved, nothing should surprise us. They are spiritually blind. They are foolish, yes. They raise monsters we all have to live with, yes. But even so, I pity them. They will never know the joy that children that are raised in the ways of the Lord can bring. All their labor is in vain.
The thing I find truly disturbing is when Christians fall for this nonsense. I am not just talking about "Christian Radical Unschooling," which yes, is a thing. I'm talking about mainstream, evangelical Christians who consider themselves 'conservatives' making the same kind of excuses about their little brats, which in due time turn out to be derelict young people and eventually worthless adults indistinguishable from their worldly peers.
I am in another online group of Christian moms of large families that homeschool. Sounds pretty conservative, no? Sometimes, when I see the questions posted there and the responses, I have to double-check which group I'm in - the radical unschoolers or the Christian homeschool moms.
This I have no pity for. "If therefore the light that is in thee be darkness, how great is that darkness!" Christian parents turning out one bad child after another with a similar 'success rate' as the world is a terrible testimony. It's just as bad a testimony as the fact that divorce rates among professing Christians are the same as that of unbelievers. It is an assault on the validity of Bible principles.
Not like Germany is the bedrock of strict parenting these days or even was in my days, but
being from East Germany and having had 'old-school' grandparents, I was
raised in times and circumstances that were decades 'behind the times'. When we were newlyweds and young parents, I was often dumbfounded by permissive American parenting, where it is a virtue among many to let kids walk rough-shod over their parents and suffer it patiently.
These same parents would never put up with that kind of treatment from their spouses. Toddler screams at you? Normal. Husband screams at you? Emotional abuse - call the cops. Imagine if he hit his wife and spat on her like these kids are allowed to do!! Who in their right mind would say, "This too shall pass, keep a towel nearby for the spitting and try to separate yourself to another room." It's madness and folly!
I used to be told, "Just wait until you have a toddler!" When the first few of our kids made it past being toddlers with our sanity intact and our parenting still on track, it was, "Wait until you have a daughter!" So we had three in a row, all of which are sweet and kind and growing into godly young ladies. Then we heard, "Just wait until you have a teen!" Well, we have three now. They do suffer from some inevitable teen brain atrophy, but they are still godly, respectful kids who know their place in this family and are not malicious, just overgrown and sometimes clumsy pups on the cusp of productive adulthood. My kids are not perfect, but they are good kids who love the Lord and will grow up to walk in His ways. And as long as we parents have any say in the matter (which we do), they will reach adulthood without first bringing shame on themselves and us through being wicked in their young adult years.
And yet, bad parents never want to take responsibility for their offspring turning out a failure, one after the other. They might blame the other parent, they might come up with some bogus condition their child suffers from like ODD (oppositional defiance disorder), Asperger (or what used to be known as lacking social graces), their preacher being too nice/mean, the Bible being too strict, modern society corrupting everyone, or any number of excuses. To them, raising children is like rolling the dice. Some keep getting lucky, and they keep drawing the short end of the stick - but the fault is most certainly not with them, oh no! You just wait! It reminds me of divorced people who think there are only two kinds of marriages: those that have already failed, and those that are on the way to failure. Until you die having never divorced, your marriage is in question in their mind, even two, three, four, five decades later.
Misery truly loves company. Misery also hates those who succeed where they have failed.
I'm here to tell you, this defeated, can't do attitude is not true. Let me be clear: my kids turning out right will have nothing, ZERO, to do with me being better than anyone else. It will be 100% by the grace of God, and applying HIS principles to child raising. If I can raise good kids, in spite of myself and my shortcomings, ANYONE can. Any idiot can follow Bible teaching, and have an end product that is far greater than the sum of its parts. To God be all the credit. All we have to do as parents is guide our kids in the fear and knowledge of the Lord. It's that simple. And: IT WORKS.
Simple does not mean easy, though. It might not be easy if we love ourselves more than our child, and care more about staying in good graces with them today rather than having them thank us later. The Bible says there are two critical ingredients to raising kids: the nurture and admonition of the Lord. Or in more simple terms: love them, and don't let them walk all over you. Parents who raise derelicts love themselves, and are too lazy to put an end to bad behavior, thus going against both of these points.
Kids do not turn out right overnight, and they are not lost overnight. They continue for many years on the path of right, lit by God's word, or they continue down the way of transgressors, unchecked for many years. There are a thousand parenting decisions made over the course of many years that keep kids on one path, or the other.
When the 18-month old first throws herself on the floor in an angry response to being told "no", one quick swat is likely to end that behavior (and other ones like it) from ever manifesting again. Choose to distract and coddle the child instead, and soon you will have a screaming 3-year old on your hands that has made a horrible habit of pitching fits to get what they want. Breaking that bad habit is a lot harder at that point, so the parent is even less likely to do it than they were two years earlier. Continue to give in to the whining and tantrums, and you will soon have an entitled monster on your hands. The problem escalates more and more. By the time kids are in their teen years, the tracks are almost irreversibly set. The train is in motion and at full speed. The train wreck is inevitable. When it happens, the parents will sit back and claim it's not their fault, but either they are lying, or the Bible is not true.
Ungodly children are the result of lazy, selfish parenting gone wrong from the start, and never corrected. If it were a roll of the dice, "having faithful children" would not be a prerequisite for the pastor.
Here's a great sermon that ties in with this post:
As I had mentioned in my last post, I had the opportunity to speak to the ladies at the Foundations Conference on the topic of "Homeschooling 101."
Unfortunately, there were some technical failures with the recording of that seminar, so I am not able to share the video as originally intended.
However, in preparation of the conference, I offered the same seminar at our church as a 'trial run', which was recorded. It speaks a little more specifically the laws in Arizona, but otherwise contains the same information.
You can watch in on YouTube:
To view a copy of the handout that summarizes the content of the seminar, please click here.
I refer to my previous seminar on teaching kids to read, which you can watch here:
About 10 years ago, we bought our kids a set of DVDs of old (to not say ancient) science videos from the Moody Bible Institute.
I will admit, I was a bit skeptical whether 60-year old science was up to modern standards. After all, our equipment today is so much more sophisticated. We bought the DVDs because they came highly recommended, used KJV throughout, and had a creationist world view.
I cannot overstate how shocked I was (and still am) at the accuracy and depth of science presented in these episodes. They not only are timeless, I will say that none of the modern materials I have seen from other Christian publishers has come close the the quality and spiritual value of these videos presented by Dr. Moon.
To this day, all our kids and us parents love watching these DVDs. They are impossible to not finish once we start one. At the end, there is always a tie-in to a Bible truth. All of them have been doctrinally sound, relevant, and memorable.
Just a heads-up that tonight at 7 p.m. MST I am doing a workshop on "How to teach your child to read" that will be streamed live on this channel.
Hopefully, we can also get the video embedded below once the event starts, so please check back here, or go directly to the YouTube link above if you want to tune in live.
Comments will be disabled, but if you have a specific question you would like to see covered, please leave it in the comments below.
Edited to add:
Here is the video:
Please click here to see a Google preview of the handout to go along with this workshop. Once that page opens, you will need to click on the download symbol at the top right of the page, and then select "Open with Microsoft Word." This will allow you to print it out without the original formatting being compromised.
Yesterday marked our first day of school. This year, I added a new K4 student (Stephen), which makes for a total of 7 students in as many grades (11th, 9th, 7th, 5th, 3rd, 1st, K4). This is a new record for our family, and a landmark because it also means we have reached critical mass in our homeschooling. By the time our next youngest child is old enough to "start school," Solomon will (Lord willing) have graduated High School. Unless we have multiples in our future, I will never have more than 7 home educated students at one time. It's all downhill from here!
Our first day of school yesterday was mundane and lacking any special excitement or hubbub. This might sound terrible, but it was actually wonderfully relaxing and blissful, which is not how I would describe "First Day of School" in my early years of homeschooling.
You see, at this point, home education has become a way of life for us that is woven into everyday life. While I do have each child in a set grade, and while I have lesson plans that outline how much work needs to be done by the end of any given week, I have learned not to be rigid when it comes to the nitty-gritty. A master schedule can quickly become just a master, which is frustrating and angering when there are so many things we juggle all day long that could cause an unscheduled interruption. Nobody needs to compound their work being needlessly frustrated by a self-appointed task master!
The easiest way I can illustrate this is with running errands. Every homemaker has a certain amount of errands that will take her out of the house. On average, I guess we all leave the home on as many days as we do not. This compares well to a school year of 180 days of instruction. None of us get up at the beginning of the year to celebrate the first day of running errands, which will be followed by 179 more days like it before the end of the year. We all understand that a certain amount of errands must and will get done every week, but just when they get done will have to follow a lose pattern (for example, buying produce from a co-op on Saturday mornings), while still allowing room for flexibility. If the baby is teething on the usual day for grocery shopping, maybe the trip can be put off until the next day, combined with another errand later in the week, or maybe Dad will run it instead. Getting things done, but being flexible. Being fluid and keeping the flow going, rather than derailing the train every time there is a major curve-ball.
In much the same way, we get our school work done each week. But if Monday is the first beautiful day in a while for playing outside, we might go to the zoo instead of doing bookwork. If I need help with chores or the baby or volunteer work for church, one of the older kids will be called in from his books to do so. We did not reject institutionalized learning for our kids to then have a "play school" at home that enforces a set time frame on us.
If we understand that learning is not limited to ages 6-18, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m., and does not need to be blocked off from real life (which consists of mostly work and some play), and that rather than having a rigidly enforced time of homeschooling we instead learn while living our lives, when it best suits any given day and its circumstances, we are well on the way to raising life-long learners who are always developing new skills woven into everyday life.
So yes, while we did officially start on our new books yesterday, the day was very much like every other day - we each did our work side by side, learning one set of new skills or facts versus other things on other days. We did not take special pictures because we take pictures year round when the opportunity arises. We did not start with any special fanfare because it was not advisable for us during this stage of life, which is very busy and in which I cannot afford to have high demands on myself and then get frustrated when I don't always throw a pinterest-worthy party, don't always take cool pictures, don't always play the perfect homemaker, teacher, wife, mother.
I am not at all criticizing those who have the time and mental energy to make the first day of the school year extra special. I did the same for many years. I am simply encouraging moms to take the pressure off themselves, and to relax the demands they make on themselves if they are leading to frustration and burnout. Motherhood is a long-distance ultramarathon, not a sprint. Slow down and walk, it will help you do better in the long run. By relaxing and realizing things will get done if you we keep faithfully plugging away and doing our best, more will end up getting done because feeling overwhelmed and frustrated is a huge de-motivator.
Hi Zsuzsanna, Could you please please please include
in your homeschooling series how you schedule other things into your
day? Like cooking and cleaning? What are your priorities? How do
actually do all this? What kind of meals do you make or when in the day
do you cook? I am pregnant with my fifth and will have five under five next year. I have started homeschooling and am overwhelmed. Right
now I have two children in nappies that need changing, one has spilled
milk on their church clothes, breakfast plates are everywhere (they are
eating as I type this), crumbs are everywhere, the dishwasher is
unstacked, lunch hasn't been organised (God knows what we're eating
after morning service, that's if I even get there since their church
clothes need changing again), laundry hasn't been put away. My floors
are grimy, the toilet needs cleaning etc. My kindy student is getting
an education alright, but at the expense of other things...e.g. meals
made from scratch, porridge for dinner etc The only reason why I'm online right now is so I can type this comment, and see if anyone else out there is struggling too. If you have addressed this could you please provide a link? Any tips would be greatly appreciated. Emmy
Dear Emmy,
I
really feel for you as you go through this difficult season. When my
oldest was five, I only had three kids, and that was plenty hard.
My words of advice are:
- Don't do it all. Many things have to be neglected, the tricky part is knowing what to neglect. I read in a book that there are four categories of things competing for our attention:
urgent and important,
urgent but not important,
not urgent but important,
not urgent and not important.
We are all great at tending to the urgent and important (like a diaper blowout), but many of us tend to respond to urgent but unimportant (like a social phone call) before tending to the not urgent but important (like brushing your children's teeth). By doing so, the non-urgent but important issues pretty soon become urgent and important, but we could save ourselves a lot of time and trouble by addressing them before they become urgent. Always choose non-urgent but important over urgent but non-important. Does that make sense? Also, some chores are better neglected than others, because they don't compound while undone. For example, a floor that hasn't been mopped for two weeks still takes just as long to mop as if you did it every day. Laundry neglected for two weeks - not so much! Neglect the forgiving chores first.
- Simplify your life as much as you can. To simplify meal planning and cooking, make a list of the most common meals your family likes, and stick it to the fridge for when you are out of ideas. Have a list of simple meals that can be thrown together with staples you always keep on hand. Planning like this requires an initial investment of time, but it will pay off in the future (falling into the important but not urgent category). Use a slow cooker that you can get going in the morning and have dinner ready at night, freeing up your afternoon for errands or other outings. Cook a double batch for dinner and use the leftovers for lunch the next day (I have been doing this for years). Nothing wrong with simple meals. Porridge is fine for dinner for the kids, and if your husband minds you could just make a big meal a couple of times per week and serve that to him at dinnertime over several days. Have paper dishes and cups on hand for busy days, and use them. Other ways to simplify are to radically pare down the kids' toys (less messes and helps them be more creative with what they have), cut out outside obligations/voluteering, use the easiest possible curriculum that requires the least input from you, etc. At this stage of homeschooling, you could really just get by with teaching your oldest to read while sitting on the sofa feeding the baby, reading lots of books with him, involving him in the housework/cooking/childcare, and letting him observe and explore the natural world in the yard or a park. Basically, go into survival mode and become a minimalist. It is very freeing, and you'll find that you will get more done because you are not demotivated before your day even starts.
- Enlist the help of others. Maybe there is a single or childless lady in your church or social circle who would love to come over and help out (for free, but she'd gain much experience). Maybe an older lady might enjoy helping you with laundry or cleaning every week. Maybe your husband or a grandparent can make a set time each week when they take all the kids off your hands - my husband does this every Tuesday morning and it makes such a huge difference! Don't be shy about asking others for help. If your finances allow, you could hire someone to come and clean, but I realize this is not an option for most of us.
- Get a head start. Whenever possible, get up before your family does, get dressed, read your Bible, and plan the day ahead. Ever minute you can get on your own without interruptions is worth 10 minutes later in your day. Life goes through stages and this is not always possible, especially when pregnant, but this is a great sanity saver when you can take advantage of it.
- Have a pattern for your day. I shy away from minute-by-minute schedules because they can quickly lead to frustration when something unexpected happens and you get behind. I have certain anchor points in my day, such as ready for the day by 9 a.m., lunch around noon and naps by 1 p.m., dinner at 5:30 and bed by 7 to 9 (depending on the ages). I have certain days set aside for errands and outings. but I generally avoid shopping after nap time or on the weekends because stores are busy and tempers run high, making everything take longer. To read my previous posts on scheduling, please click here.
- Enforce naps and bed times. Naps are moms' link to sanity. By having these times to count on and yes, look forward to, you will make it through the stickiest moments in your day. In our house, all kids age 5 and under take a midday nap. I learned this from my Grandma who raised six kids, and my mom who had five. Sure, there are those kids who will fight sleep, but remember, sleep begets sleep. And while you cannot force someone to fall asleep, they can be made to lie still, close their eyes, and not get up - which is just as good as sleep itself, and often makes them fall asleep in the process. The earlier they go to bed, the later they wake up the next day, no joke. If you have really early sunrises in the summer, hang a blanket over their window to block the light at 5 a.m. Never wake a sleeping child unless a foreign army is marching toward you, your house is about to be struck by a hurricane, or you are in some other deadly peril.
- Breastfeed. I say this with some reservations, as I certainly don't want to make anyone feel bad who cannot nurse their child, nor am I implying that your kids are not a blessing. My point is that by exclusively breastfeeding your children without a schedule and without stuffing them under a hot blanket, your hormones would prevent you from becoming pregnant so close together, which of course makes your workload a lot harder and is a major drain on your body. On the flip side, remember that when your kids get old enough to really help out around the house, you will go from no help to having a whole team of helpers virtually overnight :)
- Take care of yourself and your marriage. I realize this can be hard to accomplish. Much of your down time will have to happen while you do other things, such as reading while feeding the baby, running errands without kids, browsing FB after the kids are in bed while you make breakfast for the next day, and such like. If everything hits the fan at once, secure the kids in a safe spot where they cannot hurt themselves or each other, and do what you need to do. Don't hold off on using the bathroom, brushing your teeth, taking your vitamins, or doing some other little thing that doesn't take long but will nag away at you subconsciously if neglected. Invest time and effort in your marriage, and realize the best gift you can give your children is happily married parents.
- Be realistic. This is just a phase. They are just kids. This too shall pass. Try to see the humor in things. Realize messes matter little in the scope of things, but how you react to obstacles will shape your little people for a lifetime. Do your best and leave God to take care of the rest.
Readers, if you have more advice, please share it in the comments below.
Having talked about not expecting too much of your young student(s), today I have another bit of wisdom to share with first-time homeschoolers: relax, you can do this!
You are already homeschooling
In fact, not only can you do this, but you ARE already home educating your child(ren). Presumably, long before you were getting serious about teaching your child his ABCs, you taught him how to say his first words, eat off a spoon, use rudimentary manners, and so on. There is a common and sad misconception that learning primarily takes place in school between the ages of 6 and 18. Of course, nothing could be farther from the truth. The foundation of academic learning is laid during that time, true. But a foundation is just a foundation, leaving much room to grow in knowledge and understanding over the course of a lifetime. And academic learning is not the only type of learning there is.
The examples above are just some of the ways in which parents teach their child physical skills, character, and the like. If you are capable of doing that, you are capable of teaching book knowledge. Just as you knew when your child was ready to go from rolling over to sitting up to crawling to walking to running to jumping, you will know when your child is ready to to from learning his letters, to sounding out words, to reading and writing, to literature and book reports. Each child is a little different, and YOU as the parent will know best when he is ready for the next step, will know how to best motivate him, will know when to back off and when to expect more.
I know there are many people who received a poor academic education themselves. This does not disqualify them from teaching their own children. To the contrary, by educating them at home, these people will fill in gaps in their learning. Anyone can teach a preschooler, and from there, as the parent teaches, she also learns herself, and gets smarter and better educated over time.
Even for those who did well in school, homeschooling has much to offer in the way of helping us grow in character. Every parent knows that children bring out the best and worst in each of us. Being home with your children every day is a sink-or-swim way of developing godly character. If you don't like being around your children, there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. Homeschooling teaches and grows the parents as much as it does the children.
With the new school year upon us, I thought I should do a little mini-series where I give glimpses into how we approach homeschooling in our family. For more info, you can also click on the "School Room" tab at the top of this page.
Today's post will focus on homeschooling the younger kids.
Teach your kids to read
Teaching your children to read is the most important lesson you will ever teach them. Reading opens the door to all other learning. It also enables kids to work independently in their future studies, as they can read instructions and do their work without you having to spoon-feed them everything.
Even if you do not plan on homeschooling, teaching your child to read before they enter school will pretty much guarantee their lifelong academic success as they maintain that momentum of being ahead, and having the confidence that comes with that.
The most common mistake I see among new and eager homeschoolers is that mom, excited to teach and determined not to leave any stone unturned, does too much, too soon. This translates into having expectations that are too high on younger students just starting out. Sadly, this can crush the young child's love of learning.
When in doubt, do less! For a kindergarten student, "school" sessions of doing actual bookwork should be limited to 20 minutes at a time, for a maximum of twice per day. If you or the child feel frustration rising, stop right there and pick back up another time.
As a general rule, I do not enforce any set days for school until about 3rd grade. In those lower grades, kids have little bookwork, which can be caught up easily during those times that they want to sit still and there are not more pressing issues needing to be dealt with that day. In those grades, I also do not force the children to work on subjects they don't like.
Learning in the lower grades should be student-led, interest-based, and hands-on. Examples of this are: Ask your child what (s)he is interested in, and get books from the library on that topic. Have family story time before bed as often as you can. Do lots of art projects, science experiments, field trips, etc. Involve the child(ren) in the daily work of running the home, whether that be watering the dog or keeping baby busy by talking to it. Besides reading, learning in the lower grades should focus on creating a love of learning, building confidence, and training character. Academic achievements can wait!
I don't like to think of myself as "veteran" anything, but now in my 12th year of homeschooling, I guess that's what I am, or at least am thought of as being. Our kids this year are in grades 10, 8, 6, 4, 2, and K5. Like you haven't already heard a million times before, enjoy your kids while they are little, because times goes by sooo fast! I remember teaching the oldest boys their letters, and it doesn't seem right that it happened as long ago as it did.
Many times I am asked about my favorite curriculum, what I use, or what I would recommend. Of course I like to help other moms starting out on the homeschool journey, but I also want to caution them against the idea that there is such a thing as a perfect curriculum that works for all kids, all grades, from K through 12th grade. That's like asking me what I think a perfect spouse is like - my ideas and preferences are not those of someone else.
There are three main reasons why I believe there is no such thing as one curriculum that a homeschool parent can settle on once and for all:
- Learning style: Everyone is different, and what works for one child, may not at all work for another. To illustrate this, think about this: when getting directions, do you prefer a drawn map with the route, or do you prefer written/verbal directions? I am lost with the latter, I have to "see" where I am going. My husband is exactly the opposite. Kids are the same way - what clicks with one does not click with another.
- Aptitude: One child may be a math whiz, another may struggle with it, but excel at a different subject. The 8th grade level book that works for one child, may totally go over another child's head, who will need a less demanding curriculum in that particular subject.
- Interest: Not only do kids get bored using the same curriculum year after year, but so do we as homeschool moms! It's nice to change things up and switch curriculum around a bit to keep everyone engaged and interested in learning.
Of course, switching around too much is not only costly, it also takes up much space to store your materials, and makes it difficult for the parent to become an expert at teaching any one subject with ease because he/she is not familiar with the curriculum.
All that being said, here is a little chart of what I have nailed down as our favorite curricula for the core subjects after over a decade of homeschooling. This chart includes the various options in each subject to allow for the three factors mentioned above.
This is just what we do, what works for us, and may look totally different for someone else.
And here is Week 1 of this year's lesson plans (if you click on the picture, it should come up bigger):
The colors are for the different children, and correspond to "their" identifying color in our family. Orange: Solomon, 10th grade; Green: Isaac, 8th grade; Blue: John, 6th grade; Turquoise: Miriam, 4th grade; Purple: Rebecca, 2nd grade; Pink: Anna, K5
For the first year ever, I was able to write all 36 weeks of lesson plans, complete with activities and field trips, for the entire year! Which is exciting, because it really helps the kids be able to work more independently, and us all to stay motivated and on track.
This was our first week of school, and it went very well. We typically do field trips on Friday morning, and then finish up loose ends and go to the library on Saturday.
As part of our "All Through the Ages" history-based unit study, the kids and I have been studying Ancient Egypt.
We try to have a special meal and/or activity each week relating to each era, so when I saw the idea of "Mummy Dogs" on Pinterest, I was immediately sold on them. Basically, they are like "pigs in a blanket", except that we used pretzel dough instead of biscuits, which we then wrapped mummy-style.
The kids had a blast. For me, this definitely beat the idea of "mummifying" each other in rolls and rolls of toilet paper... :)
If you play piano, and/or would like to learn how to play the hymns, you may be interested in The Complete Church Piano Course, authored by none other than my husband.
For a limited time, you may obtain a free copy of the first book in the set by agreeing to do a review on your blog in exchange (positive or negative).
Note: I am NOT talking about scheduling young babies in this post. It is my personal preference that a very young child (in our house that is typically under 12-15 months, give or take) should be allowed to eat and sleep on demand. While I do try to have them in a good routine by 2-3 months of age, the pattern for that routine is based upon each individual child, and I just gently encourage their pattern, aligning it with a consistent schedule for the rest of the household. I never allow a young child to be left to cry to learn to soothe themselves to sleep, much less when they are hungry).
With only one more week left until we start homeschooling again, I have been fine-tuning and honing my daily schedule, and "test-driving" it for the last couple of weeks to see if it had any major flaws. I must say, I am rather pleased with the fact that it has been working out well for the most part.
Before I share my schedule, I wanted to give a word of caution to new moms, those just starting out homeschooling, those with more young children than older ones to help set the pace and stay on track: PLEASE do not look at this and try to pattern your own day after mine. I am very serious about this.
I tried to make a schedule like this, using a popular Christian scheduling book/kit, about five or six years ago, when our oldest child was only six years old. The problem was not with the book on scheduling itself, nor was it with my schedule. Rather, at that point in my life as a wife and mother, it simply was not possible to adhere to a schedule broken up into 15-minute increments. I am sure that this system worked well for the authors of the book, and many others in different situations than mine, so I am not trying to criticize the book at all.
When you have only young children (in my experience, this is typically younger than 6), or more young children than older ones, there simply are too many variables to make a rigid schedule. You may have scheduled a half hour to read your Bible, only to find yourself interrupted with true emergencies that cannot wait such as diaper blowouts, someone getting hurt, etc. (truly, I am still learning that the possibilities for these interruptions are endless).
Instead of the schedule being a tool to help you, it will become a scourge and a master, hanging over your head all the things you are not getting accomplished, rather than having the freedom to delight in your young children. It is far more important to be a joyful mother, than to have a perfect house. The basic, minimal chores and cleaning can be accomplished in windows of opportunity, whenever they arise.
So rather than having a detailed schedule like this one, for years I had a pattern, what we would do each day, in which order: get up, get dressed, have breakfast, clean up, Bible time, run errands, lunch, nap, play time, dinner, bath time, bed. If we got interrupted somewhere along this routine, we would deal with the diversion, and then pick up where we left off. But there was no time frame attached to the whole process.
Over time, as dealing with the kids became easier, the pattern would gradually become more sophisticated, and certain "anchor points" in the day would get their set time: Bible time by 9 am, lunch by noon, kids in bed by 8 PM, and so on.
Having older children is a great asset for many reasons:
They help set a pattern: When you have two parents and four older children all following a consistent schedule, the younger ones simply fall in line themselves, assuming it's just the way things are.
They help offset interruptions: While the inevitable emergencies occur just as much as ever, I now have older ones to either help me deal with them, or carry on whatever I am supposed to be doing while I fix the problem. Example: unexpected diaper change during Bible time - one of the older boys can keep reading out loud, while I change the diaper.
They are self-motivated: Allotting a certain time for a certain activity can quickly become a source of frustration with young children. "Hurry up and finish dinner, we got a late start on the meal and you only have 5 minutes left" is just too much to ask of a young child. Older ones, however, will on their own read the clock, assess where they are at vs. where they are supposed to be at, and take pride in being responsible and helpful.
They help get the work done: With only young children, when mom is the one to do the vast majority of work around the house, there are more things that need to get done, than there are hours in the day to do them. Planned neglect has to become a way of life. The areas that need to be neglected on any particular day cannot be scheduled ahead, but rather are based on the necessity of the moment. I remember distinctly that the first time I tried to work out a schedule like this, I struggled for a full week trying to cram everything into the 15 minute slots, only to realize I needed about 26 hours in each day, not counting breaks for myself. Now, I have older children to help shoulder the work load, and I can delegate many of my chores.
I would say that the main benefit of having a great schedule is that it is a tool to keep everyone on track. Like a financial budget, it helps offset guilt: Should I really be sitting around reading or sewing right now? Am I neglecting something important? It also helps stay motivated: I just need to bite the bullet and brush the kids teeth (or whatever other dreaded chore is looming), and then I am done with that for the night.
All that to say, the schedule below is the result of 13 years of marriage, and 9 years of homeschooling. It is more detailed this year than it was last year, but probably not as sophisticated as it will be one year from now. It is what works for our family, and not anyone else. I am sharing it in hopes it will give you ideas or be of help in some other way.
Sunday
Monday
Tuesday
Wednesday
Thursday
Friday
Saturday
5 AM
get dressed, groom, read Bible, work o.n computer (emails, online
orders, scheduling, meal planning, blog, library book lists, etc.), go over
calendar and plan daily activities, feed and care for food starters
(Mon: get deposits ready, Thu: have breakfast ready for Dad and
Isaac by 6:45 am)
get ready
read Bible
6 AM
produce co-op
(kids cook breakfast)
make bulletin
7 AM
cook breakfast, get bread/kombucha/dinner/etc. going, dress little kids,
fix girls’ hair, keep everyone on track
8 AM
eat breakfast
clean up (dishes, wipe counters, put away leftovers, sweep), brush
little kids’ teeth
9 AM
get ready for church, morning chores
Bible time
work with girls
P.E. class at the park
(walk, play w/ babies, computer time)
work with girls
piano lessons
field trip
(orsame schedule as Mon and
Wed)
weekly housecleaning
10 AM
work w/ John
work w/ John
church
work w/ Isaac
work w/ Isaac
11 AM
work w/ Solomon
work w/ Solomon
lunch prep
12 PM
eat lunch
eat lunch
clean up (dishes, wipe counters, put away leftovers, sweep), lay
youngest three down for naps
1 PM
clean up
work with Miriam and John as necessary
library
errands
free time
free time
All Through the Ages with Solomon, Isaac, John, and Miriam
art or other projects
(or errands while kids stay home and do their reading)
2 PM
3 PM
German with Solomon, Isaac, and John
chores, laundry
4 PM
dinner prep
dinner prep
5 PM
eat dinner
clean up, evening chores
dinner
6 PM
clean up (dishes, wipe counters, put away leftovers, sweep),
evening chores
church
practice piano w/ girls
get ready for church
practice piano w/ girls
church
7 PM
bath time, brush little kids teeth & get them ready for bed
bath time, brush little kids teeth & get them ready for bed
story time
story time
8 PM
put little kids in bed
put little kids in bed
laundry, cleaning, pick up house
laundry, cleaning, pick up house
get kids in bed
9 PM
get ready for bed, brush teeth, shower, school prep, computer time,
plan for next day
get kids in bed
get ready for bed, brush teeth, shower, school prep, computer time,
plan for next day
pick up house, get ready for bed
10 PM
free time (read, sew, crafts, etc.)
vitamins, water, etc.
Blogger has thrown off the format to have different size boxes for equal time slots, but on my actual schedule all rows are the same height, making the schedule much easier to read:
The only things not included in the above schedule are Solomon's ASL class, which meets every other Sunday afternoon, and my weekly soulwinning time, which for right now is Friday evenings (my husband will carry on with the things I would usually be doing in my absence). Once the days get shorter, I will start going during my free time on Sunday afternoons.
To those criticizing aspects of my schedule, or saying that I am not spending enough time on this or that: I am not claiming that me or my system are perfect. It's just what works for us, ineffective or ugly as it may be. Feel free to blog your own superior ways on your own blog, to your own audience.
And with that, seeing it is just past 7 AM, my time on the computer is up and I am moving on to breakfast. :)
