Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Q & A answers - Part II

Diana J. said...

I've been waiting for this!!! (1) How do you deal with picky eating? (2) What homeschool curricula do you use, and does it vary by child? And gosh, I've had so many other questions and now I've forgotten them! I'll have to try to recall them. :) 

(1) Hm... I put up with a little bit, such as not liking just a couple of certain foods. Each of our children has a few items that they just don't like, such as pickles, mustard, etc. But I don't allow the kids to not like many different foods (i.e. "I don't like eggs, strawberries, gravy, melted cheese, ..."), or to not like staples, such as "I don't like fruit". How do I deal with it? I try to prevent it by giving them lots of different foods when they first start eating. I also act like "Of course you want to eat that, it is so good!" if they seem unsure of what to think of a meal. If push comes to shove, I plain force them to at least try everything they are served that is a normal, everyday food.

(2) Every child is on their own level for Math and English (which includes reading, spelling, grammar, composition, and penmanship). I use Harcourt Math for all of them, and different curricula for each child for English as their learning styles differ greatly. For all other subjects, we use "Cantering the Country" together, but they each read books and do activities on their own level.


Chilly said...

Lookikng back through your previous blog posts I saw a bunch about the grocery game. Are you still doing this? If so, I read something, somewhere, that there were people who combined coupons and sales to get stuff for free, which they would then donate to food banks. Is this something you do or have done in the past?

No, I no longer do, just because we switched to eating 100% organic foods almost two years ago. When I did, I only bought as much of something as we needed. If I got stuff for free and we didn't need it, I gave it to others in church.


Anonymous said...

I'd love to see a tour of your house!

Unfortunately, we have a lot of mentally unstable people reading this blog, who like to write us menacing emails. For safety reasons, I will not be able to share such a "tour". 


~SALLY~ said...

I know your husband has the "Repentance Black List" and am wondering the reason for this. My pastor is on it and I have yet to meet a man who studies, reveres and knows the Bible more than him. (No, we don't worship him...LOL!) The Bible does say to "Repent Ye and believe the Gospel". So, I am wondering why you are so strongly against Biblical Repentance. I believe that if one does not repent of their sin they are not truly what are your thoughts on this issue?

The Bible is clear that the only requirement for salvation is "Believe on the Lord Jesus Christ and thou shalt be saved". Repentance is never one time in the Bible equated with "turning from sin", a phrase never even found in the Bible. Repenting means changing, or turning. The person repenting most often in the Bible is God. If it meant turning from sin, it would mean that God sinned, which we know is not true. The only repentance necessary for salvation is to turn away from whatever else a person was trusting for salvation. For instance, a Catholic might have thought that good works was the way to heaven, but he repented and now believes it is all by faith. He was trusting works, and is now trusting Christ. It doesn't even make logical sense to say that repentance is turning from sins - nobody is trusting their sins to get them to heaven! To say that one must stop sinning, or at least give up some sins, in order to be saved is works salvation. 

Jonah 3:10  And God saw their works, that they turned from their evil way; and God repented of the evil, that he had said that he would do unto them; and he did it not.

I could go on for much longer, but there is a ton of information on this on our church website, such as this sermon.


Karen said...

Along with what Chilly wrote, I would like to know more tips about how you can afford to eat organic food at bargain prices, and what stores you frequent to get some of these deals. Thanks! 

We do not eat organic food at bargain prices. If we were eating conventional foods, I could feed us all on half of what we are currently paying, or even less. The post on this subject is almost finished, I promise!


Albie said...

A couple personal ones, hope you don't mind!! I notice your girls in dresses. Do girls not wear shorts or jeans in your faith? Do you wear them? Ummm, trying to put this your marriage and faith, are couples supposed to enjoy sex? Maybe to put it better, (since men always enjoy it) are women supposed to like it?

We do not wear pants of any sort, which includes shorts, except as undergarments for certain activities. I have nothing against denim, but I personally never wear denim skirts because they are so not flattering on me.

Women are certainly supposed to enjoy the marital act, which is why God designed it the way He did.


Jessi said...

Yay another Q +A! I love pictures, so I was wondering if you could post some of your wedding and dating pictures? 

We do not have any wedding pictures because we eloped, and they wanted something like $40 for just one snapshot. No, I would not generally recommend getting married that way, but it was what was the most practical solution at the time. 

There are pictures of us dating, but that was before the digital age, so I'd have to scan them individually. Maybe I'll post those for an anniversary post. 

Here are a couple that were taken within the first month of us being married. The first, from a reception that our church had for us. The second, from portraits that we had taken in lieu of a wedding photo. Wow, I used to be young AND skinny. 



Anonymous said...

How can I get my husband to lead his family spiritually. He works about 60 hours a week and all his waking hours at home are watching tv on the couch. I can't even get him to eat meals with us at the table. I am sure all I can do is pray and keep my attitude in check but I struggle with this because I just want so much more for my family. Any suggestions would be appreciated. 

The truth is: You can't. That is a decision he must make for himself. The more he feels pressured or cajoled, the less likely he is to want to do it. After all, who wants to be pushed into being a leader, when the whole point of being a leader is to decide for oneself what to do and when? I know this is frustrating.

Kids do not have to have a dad who sits at the table (my husband doesn't unless we eat in the dining room, but we prefer to crowd the kids around the counter, and he eats on the sofa), leads Bible time (my husband rarely does - it is me who reads the Bible to the kids most days. He already preaches to them in church.), or does whatever else  you think he should do. They need parents who love them and each other, and who are a unit rather than trying to undermine the other. You can teach the children from the Bible yourself, and make sure that the TV stays off when he is gone. If you are faithful in trying to do right when you are in charge of the kids' time, God will answer your prayers.


Renee said...

(1) I know you are into healthy and natural living. Do you also use "green" cleaning supplies, toiletries (soaps/shampoos), etc? What is your approach to these kinds of things? (2) Are any of your kids anxious/nervous types? My oldest child has a tendency to get anxious and worry. For example, when I take him to swimming lessons, he worries if he doesn't see me the whole time watching him in case I may have left. Have you ever had to deal with this and, if so, what was your approach?

(1) Yes.

(2) One of our kids is very cautious, and worries about everything from eating healthy, to natural disasters, fire, and the like. We just try to be reassuring. They will grow out of some of it, and the rest is just a difference in personality and temperament.


TheCanuck said...

1) What kind of music do you enjoy? Religious, secular, etc. 2) What do you think of the Westboro Baptist Church (the one that pickets the funerals)? I know you're not affiliated with them. Where do you stand on their theology? Their actions? 3) I recently attended a service where the pastor stated that married couples should not have sex when they cannot get pregnant, eg when the woman is already pregnant, has reached menopause, or if they cannot have children. Furthermore, it should be serious, with the focus on getting pregnant and nothing else. The gist of it seems to be that marital relations are just for procreation (I mean 100%), and not for strengthening the relationship of a couple. Where do you stand on this?

(1) Hymns, and classical music. I love to listen to my husband or Solomon playing the piano. The next three youngest kids are just learning to play the piano.
(2) I think they are freaks, and most likely undercover government agents with a goal to make people like us look bad by grouping us in with them. I think that everything they do is despicable. 

(3) Sorry to be negative yet again, but that pastor is sadly mistaken at best, and perverted at worst. There is no verse in the Bible to support his opinion. The Bible makes a point to tell us that Joseph and Mary did NOT have marital relations while she was pregnant with Jesus because that is what he had been commanded by the angel, because Jesus was to be born of a virgin. It obviously made the point of telling us that because normally, married people can and should engage in such actions.


Spooky said...

I too am curious to learn more about your life in Europe and how you met your husband and how you like living in America. I hope I do not come across as nosy, I am just interested

I blogged about that here


Andrea B said...

I would also like to know how you handle picky eaters... My son has roughly 10 things that he eats. It is NOT junk. Cheese/yogurt/apples/chicken etc. I do not allow him to "get full" with junk food. He is very polite when he turns down food and will even try new things. He just doesn't like anything else. I do not want to make eating a stressful time for him, but it's hard when he never eats our planned family meals. UGH! Thanks.

Well, as long as it's not total junk, and at least somewhat balanced (dairy, produce, meat), I wouldn't worry too much. Just keep encouraging him to try new foods. One thing that I have found helps a lot is to have kids help with the cooking, or to let them pick out something new at the store that they'd like to try.


Leslye Romero said...

When do you stop nursing if it is not when you get pregnant? 

I have breastfed every baby until I got pregnant with the next. Then I encourage them to self-wean within about one to three months.


Anonymous said...

Hair Is there a rule on how long it must be for the girls and how short it must be for your boys in your household?? And also do you think it's wrong for a women to dye her hair?? And How do you feel about makeup??

No set rules, just long for the girls and short for the boys. I do not think that dyeing hair or wearing makeup are sinful/wrong, but I don't do either, nor would recommend others do.


Anonymous said...

Oh, I forgot one - when you pray, is it in German or English? If German, do you use du or Sie for God?

I think, dream, and pray exclusively in English. If I were to pray in German, I would say du.


Anonymous said...

1. What are your thoughts on pacifism? 2. If a new neighbor moved in next door and was a gay couple with a small child would you still witness to them? Would you allow your children to play with theirs? 

1. Jesus is the Prince of Peace. There is peace in heaven. Peace is a wonderful thing. I believe we should only engage in wars to defend our own country when under attack. I am against pre-emptive strikes, offensive wars (as opposed to defensive), and meddling with other countries' issues.
2. We would move.


Anonymous said...

I know you believe in letting God determine the size of your family but what if subsequent pregnancies would put the mother's life in danger? Having faith is one thing but standing in the middle of the highway and saying you trust God not to let you get hit by a car is foolish, so would becoming pregnant after being told it could kill you. What is your opinion on this? 

Becoming pregnant is a natural life process that one has to make an effort to interrupt. Standing in the middle of a busy freeway is not. In fact, one would have to make an effort to do it, not to prevent it. Every single pregnancy puts the mother's life in danger. I don't really think well in hypotheticals.

To be continued...


  1. I wrote this out, and then realised it turned into a big 'poor-me' whiney rant, so here is my attempt at a condensed version and question. Do you worry or feel afraid about future pregnancies because of the HG you suffer?

    My last pregnancy was absolutely terrible. I could keep fluid down so they wouldn't call me HG, but I lost 15% of my body weight, and I was lighter in labour than I was before the pregnancy. The morning sickness lasted the entire 9 months, and, as much as I did not want to, I finally had to take medication just to allow me to stand up and eat something, anything! Even on medication I was barely managing. To make matters worse at the end of the pregnancy I developed multiple complications which could re-occur in the next pregnancy and resulted in having no choice but a hospital birth (I did, however, through much prayer and willpower, avoid the C-section!)

    I worry how my husband will cope if it happens again, I needed help with everything, for the first trimester without meds he even had to prepare my meals for the day before work. It got better but I constantly needed him more than I wanted to need him. After the birth there has been some very stressful events that I'm not handling well emotionally, including not being able to breastfeed (doctors fault, didn't realise what had happened until I'd already lost my milk, my fault for not knowing enough I guess) and some very bad, unrelated, emotional trauma, and he's still being my rock for me, but his patience is wearing thin, I can tell. I worry he won't be able to cope with me being pregnant again, I've been 'high maintinence' for a year and I hate it!

    I have very little support around me, including one family member who insisted on making me feel bad for being so sick every time I saw her (at least twice a month) and kept telling me how her friend was throwing up 6 times a day and managed to run a business at the same time and how I needed to just suck it up and get on with it (she never experienced a single day of morning sickness in her 9 pregnancies)

    I want God to plan my family, I want lots of kids, I love children and always wanted a large family since I was very little. But I am so scared of falling pregnant again, and I don't know how to get past the fear. I feel the fear is preventing me from concieving a second time. I know I'm probably being selfish, but who signs up for 9 months of being confined to a couch?

    Do you deal with fears after your struggles in pregnancies, how do you cope and get through it? How do you cope emotionally with your pregnancies? (practical remedies, unfortunately, won't help. I've tried everything, with varying degrees of success.)

    Sorry, this is much longer than intended, and feel free to just respond as a comment if you prefer, or don't respond at all, that works too lol.

  2. Either my iPhone is being nutty (which does happen), or the link in your reply to Spooky's question is broken.

    Thanks again for all your work. ;)

  3. Zsuzsanna, I'd like to comment on the final question you were asked about pregnancy that has been diagnosed as leading to the death of the mother.

    My own mother was faced with this. She had a very traumatic birth with my older brother that almost led to the death of both of them. Fortunately she was attended by a very skilled doctor who did manage to save both of them. She was however told that she should not even think about another pregnancy until her body was fully healed, and that would take a couple of years.

    Nine months later she was pregnant with me. Her doctor told her outright that she could not continue the pregnancy as the strain would most definitely kill her and the unborn baby. My mother, thankfully, chose to ignore the doctor and continued her pregnancy. I turned out to be both her healthiest pregnancy and her easiest birth, and was a large baby to at almost 10lb.

    I just wanted to share this because doctors are often wrong about a pregnancy endangering the life of the mother. I am living proof of that. I am so thankful my own mother chose to give me life over saving hers. In the end we were both safe by her actions.

  4. Thanks for the response. My son worries about all those kinds of things too...I am hoping he just grows out of it - we try to reassure him as much as possible without "feeding the beast."

    I love the early married pictures of you and your husband. Don't worry, you're still young and pretty slim considering you've had 6 kids in about 10 years. But, if you don't mind my saying, I do think you should cut your hair to more of a shoulder length, like above. It looks great on you and is very youthful! (I think this would still qualify as long hair - ie. not boyish hair).

  5. abba12, here is a good website on a mother and her HG experiences. There are methods of getting it under control. I believe she is trying a diet based approach, and one that starts before conception so your body is ready for the pregnancy.

  6. I think you looked wonderful, now and then! My husband and I have a very similar photograph when we were engaged and we still look at it and go "oh we were so young and so thin!" My husband, who bless him is losing his hair, always reminds me he signed up for the long run--he hasn't enough hair to find another wife! ;) In any case, he reminds me that he is not just the thin and the pretty, but the changes in life we all undergo--he can be very clever. ;)

    Abba12, I wish I could give you some advise, but I will keep you in my prayers. I don't know if you had the traditional wedding vows, but a husband's love should be in sickness as well as in health. May God bless you. As for the family member that made you feel miserable over something that is caused by your BODY not by your mind or your spirit, shame, shame, shame on them.


  7. Thank you for answering questions! I loved seeing the photos of you and your husband in younger days. And might I say, I think you look fantastic after having six kids. Just another quick one: Since your family lives in Europe, I'm sure that most of them have not yet met your children. Have any of them visited you in the States?

  8. wow zsuzsa! don't let all this attention and popularity go to your head. you ought to have your own radio show like dr. laura. HaHa! (just kidding)

  9. It does make me feel so much better that you are doing dinners without your husband at the table and doing the Bible teaching at home with your children. I keep him in my prayers and wish to get him around some men that will be encouraging to him because at the moment all he has is bad examples. I am thinking of going to the ATI conference this next April. What do you think of ATI (Advanced Training Institute)? I saw it on the Duggars show but have also read some neggative information on it.

  10. LOVE your pics of you and Pastor A! :) I can not wait to see the dating ones!!!! Very fun and sweet. Tell everyone hello from us and give your children a big hug from us too!! They are growing and are so beautiful!!!! Miss you guys!!!!


  11. abba,

    the whining puker is a great website with lots of resources for HG. I do often stop to wonder how I will deal with suffering HG again. It really is a traumatic experience. My plan this time is to try to detox before the next pregnancy, which of course is tricky because I don't know when that will happen. Right now, Anna is exclusively breastfed still, so I want to wait to detox as long as possible so as to not dump all the toxins into her.


    I fixed the hyperlink.


    I like my hair to be shoulder-length, also, but my boys all ADORE longer hair.


    I don't know anything about the ATI crowd.

  12. Thanks so much for answering my question! And it was so nice to run into you guys yesterday!! :)

  13. A question for your FAQ: How do you think rape should be punished? The bible makes a distinction between married/engaged women and single women. Rape of a single women seems to go without further punishment, only a fine is to be paid. And if a married woman got raped by a stranger, do you think she should keep the child after birth or give it to adoption?


Your KINDLY WORDED, constructive comments are welcome, whether or not they express a differing opinion. All others will be deleted without second thought.