Wednesday, February 11, 2009

The Octuplet Controversy

So much has been discussed about this subject already, I really did not want to add to the whole hoopla. I think it was 100% wrong and selfish of a single mother on welfare to get pregnant, and to do so though IVF (which kills dozens of babies for every living one).

But I would like to set the record straight on some things the media has been portraying negatively:

It was not wrong for someone with 6 kids to want to have more. Of course, there is a big difference between a married mom of 6 becoming pregnant by her husband and a single woman on welfare using IVF for the 6th time. Still, the news media acts as if anyone with 6 children must be crazy for wanting another baby.

I do not think that it is impossible to give enough love and attention to 14 children. That is, if they are conceived and born under normal circumstances, i.e. children that are spaced naturally. Most parents who have 14 children will have some who are about to leave the home or have already left. They are much less needy than a newborn (let alone eight newborns). Furthermore, many large families homeschool, and practically all of them have a stay-at-home mom. A homeschooled child in a large family gets much more individual, one-on-one attention than a child who only has one sibling but goes to school gets. True, the kid in the large family has to share his parents with his siblings 24/7, but kids in small families who are in school have to share their teacher (not even a parent) for the majority of their awake time with about 25 other kids (who are not even their siblings).

"Octo-Mom" has 10 children under the age of 2, something that is not normally possible, hence she will not be able to care for them as God and nature had intended. Hopefully, there will be people to volunteer and help her out, since the mistakes have already been made and the effort now should be to make the best out of the situation.

I believe that with God's blessing and hard work, anyone can support any size family that God gives them. Again, the emphasis here is children that are given by God, rather than artificially conceived. Stealing from God sounds like a sure way for parents to forfeit the blessings of God.

I do not think that this mom should have "reduced" the pregnancy, i.e. selectively aborted some of her babies in the womb. The mistake was using IVF in the first place, let alone with 6 babies (she said 2 of the eggs split, hence 8 babies).


  1. Hey Szuszanna... at first I found myself thinking the same thing, that this woman was being selfish and not thinking of the other kids or her mother for that fact... I'm not sure if she is religious or not. I know that she isn't working and isn't married. Then I wondered what I would have done if I knew that I still had 8 fertilized eggs available... maybe she felt she just couldn't abbort them (which should technically be a christian's viewpoint as well). It's true the whole thing was probably not well thought out from the beginning, but now that she WAS in that situation, and there was no turning back and the eggs were already fertilized, maybe she felt she had to give them all a chance or else would basically be aborting.
    What are your thoughts on that. Maybe I don't have all the facts straight either...
    Thanks much

  2. I guess you sort of covert my question in your last point( I hadn't read the last one).
    I guess my questions is, should everyone be so mad at her for HAVING the babies? Maybe for not planning well and using IVF in the first place, but after the fact, she basically had no choice in my opinion.

  3. Well said. I'm not against big families, but use some common sense.

  4. Z-I understand your point that "anyone can support any size family that God gives them" however, do you really think that God had NO hand in this? Do you think that this woman, her conception, or her children have not at least been touched by God a little. Or will be touched by God in the future? Will God allow bad things to happen to CHILDREN because of a mistake of a parent? Perhaps we have different God's or at least a different perception of him. I agree that with God's blessing and hard work anyone can support a family of any size...because didn't God make everything here? Aren't we all his children...even if we don't necessarily believe as you or even in him. Perhaps, God did give these children to this woman and in the end they will be taken care of...and a lesson will be learned from this by OCTOMom or even her children. Life is about God's lessons and there are lessons everywehre when we open our eyes to them....lessons that God intended. He has his hand in everything and a purpose for it all. That is at least what I believe....but not really shocked by your beliefs I must say.

    For the record...I don't think she should have allowed that many embryos to be me it is negligent...she obviously didn't have a problem having children. I also do not think she should have reduced her pregnancy...on that we actually agree. However, I have no problem with IVF or Fertility treatments in general.

  5. Hi Zsuzsanna, the post was a bit redundant, i.e., anyone who had read your blog before would know that these would be your positions.
    Are people really that mean with large families? I guess so. But as a mother, you can enjoy your children and just ignore or laugh in the face of those who ask you 'are they all yours?'. You know better and they don't know what they are missing. I have seen the opposite a few times, and it it so sad, i.e., women who cannot have children being constantly asked 'why not' and often embarassed in front of others. They have to live with that sadness and hurt, they will never know that joy, they will never understand. Sometimes this will show as they get older and maybe in a moment of jealousy they will get sour seeing someone like you, and they will the ones asking 'are they all yours?' with a frown.

  6. When I first heard the story I had my share of negative thoughts. But upon really thinking about it and seeing how outraged people are over this, I really could find so many more worth-while issues to be enraged over. I wrote them on my blog. Like you said, naturally a woman could not have 10 children under 2 and I can see a lot of potential problems with that. All I can do is pray for her, and I do, that God will work this out for His good.

  7. Anyone with that sized family, whether naturally conceived or not, is environmentally irresponsible.

  8. There are two things that concern me about this
    1. There have been media reports where she is quoted as saying that she was incredibly lonely as a child and always wanted a lot of children to fill that void. That concerns me because I think that you should want to have children for their own sake, for their own person and not to fill a void/want/need inside yourself.
    2. I think it puts IVF in a bad light. It really is very, very irresponsible to transfer more than two embryos at any time. There is no way this would happen in Australia as clinics will not let you put back more than two and many of them don't really like you doing that either.

  9. Can I pretend all this "environmentally irresponsible" Orwellian stuff is just a joke? Please....for the sake of my sanity...?

  10. This topic has just made me violently sick having to hear the media have a party over all of this. At first I actually felt bad for her thinking my God she just had these babies it should be a joyful time for her and her family. Soon to find out she has no husband and the issue of the number of embryos.

    I have to say that I don't have as much an issue regarding the IVF as I do with the irresponsibility of not only the girl BUT the doctor who would place that many embryos!

    It not only makes the IVF look worse in the eyes of society it really makes you question the motives of this doctor. I don't think it was very good judgement on his end.

    I do in the end pray for the mother and her children. Though we may all have our view points regarding her decision we can not take things back and change them.

    I pray for them to have a normal life and have a mother who provides and loves them unconditionally. I hope as well that the Lord will bring a loving Christian man in her life so these children are not raised in a disfunctional broken home.

  11. There are things I like about her and things I don't. You bring up some good points!

  12. Tori.....If one person is contribuiting 14 children to the world , the one or two children you have or might have in the future will only be adding to the "enviromental irresponsibility". Maybe you shouldn't have any children or maybe this woman shouldn't have had 14, so you could have one.Who should be the person be that makes these decisions? You wouldn't want someone to tell you ,that you couldn't have a child...would you?
    If God didn't want these babies to be here, they wouldn't be, because he created them & decided how many would be born...not the doctors...not the mother. People are born and die everyday....God's had a pretty good handle on it all thus far.....I think the environment will be okay : )

  13. I see nothing wrong with using IVF. It has helped many infertile couples who have desperately wanted children but couldn't have them the old-fashioned way. I agree that the doctor and the woman were very irresponsible, with the implantation of so many embryos. I do applaud her for not allowing her embryos to be destroyed, but I think it would have been wonderful if she had donated those embryos to 6 infertile couples who could provide a child a good home. I'm not sure of the legalities of that, however.

  14. Found this blog off another. Think Tori may be a little bit biased. I don't have a large family, although I have friends who have 7+ children. A large family done normally would not be a problem, but with 8 all at one age, it will end up being a problem for her. As they age, it will get easier, but being babies, its a tough road to hoe.


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