Friday, June 13, 2014

Home Birth Haters

Yikes, I thought I had heard all the objections to a planned, midwife-assited home birth. Then I became pregnant with twins, experienced multiple complications that required major medical interventions, and was thankfully, eventually, cleared to being "low-risk" again. And, went on to successfully deliver at home for the seventh time.

The specialist we were seeing  kinda, sorta, under the table even encouraged us to go ahead with a home birth, saying in his report there were no contraindications for a home birth, while adding that technically, he could not recommend such a choice (Ah, liability! A truly American phenomenon.)

My midwife, Dr. E the consulting MFM, and the awesome tech at his office that did all our ultrasounds. All getting along and working together as a team - what a blessing!

And, unlike the OB I was also seeing but who dropped me from her care when I would not rule out attempting a home birth, Dr. E was genuinely thrilled to hear about our healthy, safe birth, and about meeting little baby Boaz when we stopped in for a visit. The OB? When my husband and I stopped by her office with Boaz, we waited for 40 minutes, and she would not even see us at all. Knowing that she spends about 90 seconds on each of her patients, I have a hard time believing she was just too busy that day. 

 The kids and I dropped off a gift for everyone at the office as a little "thank you."

When we go to Southern California for a family vacation later this summer, our family will also be stopping by the office of the surgeon that did both procedures during my pregnancy, and thank him and his staff. Humanly speaking, they more than anyone else involved in this pregnancy are responsible for saving Boaz' life when TTTS and PROM threatened to take it. We are thankful for medical advances and the professionals that carry them out, when needed.

Anyhow, leading up to the birth, I received a number of comments from those trying to dissuade me from a home birth. I will be responding to these below. Buckle up!

With all of the complications you have had in this pregnancy, why on earth would you ever consider a home birth? Why in the world would you risk your baby's health and perhaps even his life? If you were so willing to allow extensive interventions during pregnancy, I just can't understand why you would risk everything at the end? I'm not trying to be critical, I'm just completely baffled. I've heard one too many stories (one of which happened to someone close to me) of babies dying because of the lack of adequate care during a home birth. With all of the difficulties you've had during this pregnancy, I just don't understand why you wouldn't want the care of those who could save your baby should a complication arise during the birth.

I would like to make one thing really clear (again - because people keep missing this memo):

We are not, and never have been, against medical treatment, if and when warranted. That last phrase is crucial. The Bible tells us that "they that are whole need not a physician, but they that are sick," which sums up our philosophy perfectly. I like to call it "medical care, a la carte." In other words, we must be discerning consumers of medical services, taking responsibility to educate ourselves and make the best choices, so that we get the care we need, when we need it - nothing more, nothing less.

Nor are we against modern medical advances, as long as they do not pervert God's creation, or take the life of others in the process. We are all in favor of restoring health, but not at the expense of destroying life or perverting nature. These are great guidelines to help direct any decisions regarding treatment of anything from infertility to debilitating illnesses.

"For low risk moms and low risk babies, home birth is as safe or safer than hospital birth."
Or something like that.

Zsu, you are NOT low risk. After all you have been through, to still entertain the idea of home birth is astonishingly reckless. And that a "midwife" would agree to attend you is hubris of the highest order.

I desperately hope nothing goes wrong and both you and your baby will be alive and safe 2 months from now. But even if that is the case, it is little different than the man that will drive home drunk this Friday and claim that because he didn't end up smashed into a telephone pole that it was still safe for him to drive drunk.

Well, according to all the doctors treating me, I WAS low risk by the time I was far enough along to even consider home birth. But yes, dear anonymous person on the internet that has much better medical knowledge of my reproductive system than my doctors, I shall consult with you in the future - NOT!

And giving birth at home is every bit as irresponsible as drunk driving? Say WHAT?

If your baby is born in a hospital, he has a near 100% chance of survival with minimal to no long-lasting effects.

Keep that in mind as you consider having a homebirth to a high risk baby at 36 weeks into the hands of a woman with no medical training far from a NICU. If your baby dies - he would have lived at the hospital.

True, babies born in a hospital have a near 100% chance of survival. As do babies born at home. Scores of studies have shown that in terms of survival rates, home and hospital have virtually identical numbers, though some studies come out in favor of home birth. The big difference is not in the mortality rate, but in the morbidity rate, i.e. the number of interventions and complications. Of course, home birth outperforms hospitals by a long shot in every aspect of this. Same outcomes, with fewer complications at home. Yes, I'm fine with that. 

And no medical training? Do you know who my midwife is, or what training she has undergone? What a ludicrous claim! (insert eye roll)

The net is to prevent the young children in the audience seeing a person's brains splattered on the floor. A C-section is to prevent the unnecessary death of a young child. The idea that you see a "catastrophic home birth transfer" as win-win is unbelievably delusional. What exactly is your definition of "catastrophic"?

I desperately hope things will be fine...and they probably will. But after all you have been through to bring this child into the world away from medical care (a CPM with an oxygen mask is NOT neonatal resuscitation) is so incredibly reckless. You have a proven pelvis Zsu, many times over. You do NOT have a 30% C-section risk. Go to the hospital.

For sake of time, let's ignore the claim that I ever considered a catastrophic transfer a win-win, though I suppose words can be twisted to say anything. 

And as for the proven pelvis? It wasn't proven in a hospital. In fact, they did not believe in my pelvis, at all, as proven by the unnecessary interventions I was subjected to. I was lucky to have made it out of there without a C-section. True, maybe I could, after 7 home births, stand up to the hospital policies and doctors as necessary. But why would I do that, when I can just avoid the confrontation altogether? If I need a hospital, I'll go to one, and let them do their thing without me telling them how to do their job. But when there's no problem? I'll just stay home and do my own thing.

One more thought - still no comment on the January CDC report? Ever fooled around with the CPM infant birth/death linked data in the CDC Wonder Database? Fascinating stuff.
Haven't seen or heard of such a report, and don't care to. I do not trust government agencies that tell me how to be healthy, as they advocate for vaccines and disease-riddled homo lifestyles, while going after raw milk. Hm, I wonder if they have an agenda?

It's not a "turf war". Really, Zsu? After all you've been through and you view one of the OB's that has helped keep your baby alive as just some petty kid on the playground? It never occurred to you that she might just be concerned for the well-being of you and your baby?

Out of hospital birth represents a potential loss of income. CPMs cannot decide to practice in a hospital, here or in any other first world nation because they are not qualified. So who exactly has more at stake here - the OB or the CPM?

Also, your OB isn't going to parade this birth around to all her colleagues but I guarantee you your CPM will trumpet her success in managing a twins, TTTS, post-surgical, post-ROM, etc etc etc pregnancy to all her CPM friends. Who knows, it might even make a crowdsourcing Midwifery Today post.

But of course, if something goes wrong you'll be happy to run to her and beg her to fix it. When she could have prevented it in the first place with a hospital birth.
The OB did near zero to "help keep my baby alive", unless measuring my fundal height and listening to the heart beat a half dozen times fall into that category. Anyone, and I do mean anyone, could have done the same. 

CPMs cannot practice in hospitals because they cannot buy malpractice insurance, which the hospital requires. 

Your OB is smart for bowing out, if something goes wrong because of your insistance [sic] for control , you would not hesitate to sue her for neglect,

Suing the OB, or anyone involved in my medical care for that matter? No. Again, that's an American phenomenon, one I find particularly disgusting. Bad things happen, and often, it's nobody's fault. 


Facts are stubborn things. At the end of the day, fact is that I have had 8 natural deliveries with zero C-sections, when statistically, I should have had two or three by now.

Fact is that at our church, some 25 babies have been born since we started, and all but one were natural births. That comes out to a 4% C-section rate - nothing to sneeze at! That Mom had a prior health history that all but ruled out natural delivery for her. No complications or "catastrophic transfers" with any of the natural deliveries. 

I wonder how many more people have been educated and influenced regarding home birth through the online sermons or this blog. I know of many of them, but I'm sure there are others I don't even know exist.

My goal with this post is not to start a debate. Rather, it is to encourage parents to think outside the box of standard American obstetric care. For low risk moms, home is the best place to be. If you are not low risk, you have many options available to try and help resolve problems before it comes time for the birth.


  1. Van egy videósorozat a youtube-on... "Hoztam e világra", édesanyák mesélik el, hogy a "biztonságos" kórházi körülmények között hogyan erőltették ki belőlük a gyermekeket hol oxitocinnal, hol pedig rábeszélték, hogy írja alá hogy beleegyezik a császárba, mert szombat éjszaka volt, és mindenki haza akart menni a bánatba, neki meg volt képe szombaton vajúdni. Sok nő sírt, valakin látni lehetett, hogy megzakkant a traumától, és soha nem lesz belőle épkézláb ember. Több nő kifejezetten használta a "szexuális erőszak" szót, mert a megérdezése nélkül, erőszakkal nyúlkáltak a hüvelyében, és tágították erővel a méhszáját. A megkérdezésük nélkül alkalmaztak burokrepesztést, gátmetszést. Durván, embertelenül beszéltek velük, megalázták őket amikor a legkiszolgáltatottabbak voltak. SEMMIT az életben nem szabad "államilag" jóváhagyott intézményben intézni, FŐLEG nem szülést, gyermekek oktatását és étkeztetését, stb. A "biztonságos" kórházból lidérces rémálmokat, nemi erőszak emlékeit, erőszakos császármetszéseket, megalázottság-érzetet visznek haza. Úgy undorító az egész ahogy van. És a dolgozók mintha nem is emberek lennének, hanem valami pokolfajzatok. Csak azt nem értem, miért a legszemetebbje áll be szülész-nőgyógyásznak, meg ápolónőnek a szülészeten.

  2. I am over 40 weeks with my first baby and am planning a home birth. I have a hospital 2 miles from my house, and will go there if there is a complication, as should be the norm.
    After watching 5 women in my family get subjected to intervention after intervention (all for the sake of the hospital staff's convenience; nobody likes waiting too long for a baby to arrive after all), and after nearly losing my sister to a post c-section infection, I knew there had to be a better way. If you look around the world, most countries have much lower infant and maternal mortality rates than the US, and most of them use more midwives.
    Many people are just not taking the time to educate themselves and instead base their knowledge off of hearsay, or general cultural norms.

    1. Foolish thing to do with having a first baby over 40. I hope it works out well for you Amy Joy but.... statistics aren't with you in this.

  3. It must be nice to be in your own home after giving birth. Especially your bed. For me, I could never do it at home because I a huge wimp. I think it's awesome you have such faith in your body.

    There's zero doubt in my mind that you would have given birth in a hospital if you needed to do that.

    I don't understand why people care about stuff like this. When you gave birth to your children, my life was going on as normal. It didn't change anything in my day-to-day living!

  4. All these opinions regarding something that really isn't anyone's business but you and your husbands is amazing. I don't think I could deal with it quite as well as you. You have done an excellent job with your response. It is just sad, to me, that it was even necessary. Tiffany F

  5. "Suing the OB, or anyone involved in my medical care for that matter? No. Again, that's an American phenomenon, one I find particularly disgusting."

    I think I am misunderstanding what you mean here. Is it disgusting to take people to court after bad things happen?

    Am I mistaken about the settlement your husband received after being tasered? I realize that this probably doesn't fit under your definition because you wouldn't consider it a bad thing that nobody was at fault for, but if your baby was sick because of something the OB did or didn't do - wouldn't that be the same thing?

    I might be wrong about the court case, and if so, I apologize. I find it interesting that you think a litigious society is disgusting in light of what your husband has done. I'm guessing you won't publish this comment, but I am interested in how those two things - your feelings about a litigious society, and your husband's litigation - mesh.

    1. Maybe I didn't express myself right. I am not categorically against one person suing another. I am against a mentality that says that anytime anything goes wrong, someone must be at fault, and must be sued. Sometimes, bad things happen and its nobody's fault. In obstetrics, however, if anything at all goes wrong the OB's neck is on the chopping block, whether or not they did anything wrong, or failed to prevent some harm. Mothers and babies will always die or suffer in childbirth, and it's not always someone else's fault.

      Of course, this is vastly different from someone intentionally and criminally assaulting another person. So while I think it is wrong for a customer to sue McDonald's for millions of dollars because he/she spilled hot coffee on themselves, I would not think it wrong of the customer to sue McDonald's for damages if their employee dumped the coffee on the customer.

      Of course, if the OB did something majorly wrong that resulted in catastrophic consequences, we would try to recover our damages. That was not the question, however. The commenter said if something went wrong because of MY choices. No, I would not sue anyone for something I caused myself.

      Border patrol assaulting innocent people IS their liability.

      Even so, no, we did not receive some sort of settlement, since a judge unilaterally threw out the case without so much as a trial. Nice justice system, no? As it stands, we are out about $15,000 between medical bills, property damage to the vehicle, and attorney costs, and that is not even counting loss of wages, pain and suffering, etc.

    2. Thank you for clarifying. I guess I can understand why the OB would be afraid you would sue if something went wrong, since that is so often subjective.

      I was under the impression that you had received a settlement (not sure from where I got that impression), so the clarification helps.

  6. I'm choosing a home birth next time, simply because when I had my baby in the hospital, the midwife told me to shut up and stop screaming while I was in the transitioning phase about to push out a 3.8kg baby. Not only was she rolling her eyes at my husband and the other midwife, she was roughly throwing linen and equipment around to indicate how unhappy she was at my 'behaviour'.
    On top of this, when I first arrived and requested some sort of analgesia, they kept delaying it and ignoring my requests telling me to hop in the shower, or deep breathe. And were quick to inform me that giving birth is a natural process, whereby millions of women around the world do it.They hardly stayed in the room with me and kept running out to talk at the nurses station.
    When I did go to use the shower for pain relief, there was old dried blood on the bathroom fixtures and shower nozzles. I couldn't bring myself to use it. The irony of this situation is: these lazy health care workers, that are against home births, used the excuse that birth is a natural process that women go through, (so lets do the least amount of work possible for the least amount of paper work), but when I asked to be discharged afterwards, they threatened to call the department of community services because being a mother to them is abnormal, and I might not have known how to breastfeed my baby properly, despite having had breast fed before. Or that I wasn't capable of looking after my child, without adequate midwifery supervision. Funny that. I rang the buzzer for assistance and no one came to my aid for the whole shift anyway.
    These same health care workers, think it's normal for two males to have a child via IVF and an Indian surrogate, but a mother's natural maternity instincts have to be questioned and supervised.
    I just don't get it. Next time, I'm having a baby at home, in a clean environment, and with people that want to be there.
    PS Zsuzsanna you look really pretty and relaxed, and you have a wonderful motherly glow in the photos. God bless you guys.

    1. Wow, unbelievable! I am just glad you are still wanting to have another baby after such an experience. What country do you live in, if you don't mind me asking?

    2. Australia. There is a big push to end home births here, and no health care worker likes to suggest it- even mention the word. And they make sure that if there is a one off home birth gone wrong, it'll go on the front page of the newspaper.

  7. I have heard from several sources that MFM doctors are often pro-homebirth, because they can examine the evidence impartially outside of the OB v. midwife turf wars. It looks like you have an absolutely awesome MFM physician, and I'm glad to have someone local to recommend!

    There are so many errors to correct in those emails and statements, but thankfully you've done a good job and I don't need to try! :)

  8. I wish I were able to have a home birth but unfortunately it is not covered by my insurance and midwives in my area costs thousands. I wish more insurances covered midwives because the cost would be less in the end for everyone. My last birth was in the hospital and natural but I was pressured into getting an IV and receiving pitocin after the birth to help contract the uterus after labor. Strange but was told that it was "hospital policy". By that time I was sick of fighting. My OB was frustrated because I wasnt progressing fast enough and he needed to get back to his office so he was pushing pitocin during the whole labor. I also was not allowed to move around because they required all mothers to be connected to the monitors.

    1. Sadly, virtually no insurance company covers for home birth midwives even partially, even though it would cost them so much less than paying for the hospital.

    2. Just a thought, many midwives work on payment plans and barter, and the cost is very low compared to a traditional ob, in fact if you make copays during pregnancy, the cost deference may be negligible.

    3. I'm having a homebirth this time around as the doctors did some interventions that we told them they were absolutely not allowed to do. The first intervention was trying to induce me at 40 weeks while she was checking my dilation. The second intervention was actually after the birth. We told her not to pull my placenta out but to let me deliver it naturally. Do you think she could be patient enough to let me do that, of course not. She waited like 2 minutes and proceeded to pull it out, all the while my husband was telling her to stop. She just rolled her eyes at him. And of course if he had physically tried stopping her, she probably would have sued him for physical abuse. I also had one of the doctors tell me that I was a selfish mother not doing what was best for my baby girl because I wanted to have her in the delivery room for the birth of her brother. I had reasons for it, It wasn't that I just wanted her in there for my own sake, I wanted her there for her sake so that she didn't have to be baby sat for the entire time I was in delivery which was 16 hours. I don't like her being baby sat for more than two hours at a time and only by female family. Anyways, those are the negative reasons we're doing a home birth for our next little boy, not to mention all the positive reasons for a home birth. Our insurance actually will cover I think 80% of it after a $1,000 deductible for out of network. Our midwife is charging $3,400. It still ends up being more expensive for us not delivering in the hospital, but boy will it be worth it.

  9. I don't think you'll reply to this, but I have to ask it since it's weighing heavily on me and has me questioning my faith. When you posted about needing help for medical expenses, I prayed a lot about what I should do with a bit of money my husband and I had saved up for a not-inexpensive zoo outing with our children. I can to feel God was telling me to send it to you, so I had my husband do that. But now you're taking your family of ten to California for a vacation. How can you afford this if you couldn't afford to pay your own medical bills? I am no longer sure God was talking to me, and think it was my own desire to help, and this has shaken my faith. I feel like God is saying you'll reply to me, but I'm not sure if that's me hoping I'll get an answer that makes me feel better.

    1. Dear Anita,

      I just spent a considerable amount of time looking up when and how much you donated, but came up empty-handed. Did you do so under a different last name? I kept a list of every single donation (through paypal, mail, or in person), so that I could eventually work my way through it and send everyone a thank-you card. It is certainly possible that you slipped through the cracks, for example if my husband opened the mail and did not pass that info on to me.

      It certainly is not my wish for you to be questioning your faith over this. Please do send me your contact information, and I will promptly return your donation to you.

      Frankly, I find your whole view of this very confusing. For one, we have paid off our medical bills completely, and stopped accepting donations for them when we reached this goal (mostly from our own money and a tax return, plus also from donations). So yes, life is going on as usual for us, which does include a family vacation this summer, something we have not done in probably two years. This is not an expensive trip, but it certainly is not just something necessary for survival only, if that is your standard. I didn't realize that by accepting a donation, for the rest of our lives we would not be allowed to spend money on anything outside what's essential to survival. Or did you think that the donations were a loan of sorts, that we would slowly have to repay once our bills were paid off? They are, and always were considered, gifts for us to use on the medical bills. We did so, the bills are paid off, we are now allotting a part of our budget to family fun.

      Personally, we feel that taking a vacation this year is more important than ever, after all our family has recently been through. It is not a coincidence that we chose Southern California, in particular L.A. as the destination. My two trips there in December were very traumatic. Going to the same venues, this time for a fun vacation with the family, seems like it would be very therapeutic.

      Please do leave a comment with your contact info (it will not be published). I hope you get to take that trip to the zoo, after all.

    2. Well I did a bit of "researching", too, and this was a troll comment from you know where. This made up name neither did pray about anything, nor did she donate anything. About 99 percent of what she'd written is a lie. The whole point was to question you how dare you go visit a state right next to yours when you asked for donations. I'm still praying that one day there will be no troll comments published since none of your readers need to see these idiots and liars. Thank you.

    3. PSSS See, this is how sincerely concerned I am Anita, just to clarify, as I was typing at a rocket speed I meant to type:

      Do you find fault in Him? And are you trusting in your works? Cos if you do find fault in Him AND/OR are trusting in your works to save you, then you never had saving faith to begin with.

      And I'd also like to clarify 'saving faith'. It should be just 'faith'. Cos I believe the least faith saves, provided it's a faith in Christ alone.

      Cheers, anonymous

    4. Anon at 3 a.m.,

      Thank you for looking into this. I had a suspicion that the whole comment was most likely just made up, but of course, there's no way to know for sure.

      I choose to allow dissenting comments, to a degree. Even so, I delete about as many comments as I publish on any given post.

    5. Interestingly, that very fake, very cheesy and very inquisitorial trollish question came from the same place where people are all in favor of supporting reckless folks that use in vitro or just tamper with their hormones and consume fertility hormones to expedite the process of becoming a big family, meaning: they willfully cause themselves to remain pregnant with quints, sextuplets and other low-birthweight baby combos. Like the human womb were meant to carry the amount of offspring like that of a german shepherd. Than, they expect the government (aka taxpayers) to foot the damn bill, AND make a good face to all this, the tampering with hormones, the premature and sickly babies, half a dozen of them at the same time, and the horrid unimaginable amount of money their reckless behavior caused. And we are not talking about a few thousands of dollars here that can be paid back quickly.
      So I don't get all this hatred, your pregnancy was natural, you did not tamper with your hormones, the unfortunate circumstance of TTTS emerged, you did what you had to: turn to a doctor and try to save your children (which resulted in saving one beautiful human life instead of losing both babies!). You did nothing wrong. How on earth could all this scorn those geese than stupid people deliberately turning their pregnancy into a litter-dropping, AND they cheer to their sorry parents that will probably live off of others for the rest of their lives? Along with their very premature, sickly and developmentally forever delayed kids?

  10. Anita, I'm concerned about you because you claim that your faith is shaken. Your faith is shaken, because the firm foundation of Christ might not have been laid in the first place and I'd be questioning whether you are saved or not...Have you read the parable about the wise man building his house upon the rock? The rains came down, and the house remained standing. That rock is Jesus Christ. The fact that you begrudge a woman who had a rough time, and lost a twin son, a trip with her family, (in which more importantly for some reason has shaken your faith in the complete and redemptive work of Jesus Christ for your salvation), makes me think you haven't trusted solely on Jesus alone for the remission of your sins. Do you find fault in Him? And are you trusting in your works? Cos if you do find fault in Him and are trusting in your works to save you, then you never had saving faith to begin with. And that's when things can get shaky. I hope you leave your e-mail for Zsuzanna to reimburse you- she said she would, and that you get to take that trip to the zoo also...good luck. PS if you would like to learn about salvation, I recommend you listen to one of Steven's sermons and more importantly read your Bible. And sincerely pray for wisdom and understanding. The book of John, and Paul's letter to the Roman's are a good starting point. And make sure your Bible is a King James Bible. It'll change your life. :)
    PSS. Also Steven has a sermon on 'Knowing the Will of God.' It teaches that God's will is spelled out in the Bible. Don't trust your altruistic feelings as being divine.

  11. While insurance may not cover a homebirth, many insurances will cover a midwife at a free-standing birth center. They do not have all of the interventions (no pain meds) but do have supplemental oxygen and such. They are usually located within a mile or two of the hospital should a transfer become necessary.

    I think that the reason people tend to come of as so judgmental in the comments, is because that is how the posts read. It just comes across as there is no respect for people's choices that aren't identical to yours and that makes people feel very defensive.

    I'm just curious, when you state necessary medical care- does that mean that you do preventative care? I understand that you don't do vaccines but what about say pap-smears and blood draws to check cholesterol and such for the adults. Also, vision and dental exams for everyone- are they on the list?

  12. I wish I had begun having my children only a few years ago. I did not know truly of the home birth option. I was a dutiful military wife, that had a complete placenta previa with my firstborn. C-section of course, but I was told a v-bac was a reality. Then we were transferred to Germany. I utilized American Army Hospital in Frankfurt am main. I went into labor with my second at 10:30 pm. By 11 pm my doctor told me he needed to be up early in the morning so I needed a c-section. I was alone, as my husband was trying to arrange care for our first born in lobby...waiting for friends to come. I was scared into a c-section. Yep. I will say this again. I was told every horrible thing that could happen and the big push occurred. My third pregnancy, also in Germany was far different. I opted to go to my local German hospital for care etc. I was treated so amazing. I cannot express the night and day care into me, my life, my health vs the doctor's prestige and knowledge. The things I was taught in German care were so simple and common sense. Women should not be laying in a bed in labor this is only easy for the doctor. I could go on and on, and then now I see the way midwifery is and think~wow, how the woman's body and health as well as the baby are priority and I am humbled. I recommend to all women to truly research this issue as the rise in c-sections are crazy...and very dangerous for mom.

    I am ever so thankful that you are sharing your journey and that Boaz is doing so well. I rarely comment but today I needed to stand and support your post. I agree at times we do need medical attention BUT this does not need to be in an elitist point of view but truly from a caregiver that seeks your health and success first and foremost. Instead the bottom line is set by those that are not on the front lines and care is about $, conforming to the current thought, and of course, disdain towards any that wish to be in control of their lives and health~as are those in the homeopathic movement.

    Forgive the run ons etc, I am awakening to how critical this is for now my daughters-in-laws, and daughter, and the grandbabies to be.


  13. Hi Zsuzsanna,
    I notice there are always those few who are against you. Unfortunately that's how life is and we can't please every body. There will always be someone there to disagree with you no matter what it's about. Iam so sorry you have to go through all this all the time. The life you live is grand. It's the simple way God wanted everyone to live. And to have faith in that way of life. My grandparents had 13 children of their own and all natural births with the help of midwives! And they lived in the actual "Bush". This was how it always has been until modern medicine and practice came along. I'm so happy you do all this. We need more people like you and your family. God Bless you all!

  14. I have an inappropriate question to ask you, and you obviously can feel free to answer or not. You guys seem to be so much further ahead on finances than my family is - with the ability to pay off thousands of dollars of debt in a very short time. I know your husband quit his second job to be a fulltime pastor. My husband doesn't pull in a great salary (he's just starting out in IT), but there's no way we could possibly pay off those bills in a short time, or maybe even ever. Do you have any tips on how to make an income stretch so far? Is your husband making a good income because of his hard work and dynamism in the church? I'm trying not to be envious, but it's hard.

  15. Dear Mrs Anderson,
    I'm sorry that people comment so nastily on your choices for your family. I often read your blog, but don't comment. Some things we will agree on totally, others we won't, but I think that's life! I thought though you might find this link interesting- in England home births are becoming far more encouraged and common by healthcare professionals. I know it helps that we have a strong midwifery tradition here, so you only see an Ob if you are really complicated, but it is a very different attitude. I would say that in my church (in London) around 80% of babies are born at home- and it is not because we have a church teaching line on it. With prayers for every blessing upon your family. Kathi.

  16. I have been a ld nurse for 10 years and hate how hospital politics work. Care is solely based off of liability not what is in the patient's best interest. What a blessing your birth story is. Thank You

  17. I just played around with the CDC Wonder database and even the government's own numbers show that there is less than a 1% difference in hospital versus home birth death rates. Even by the home birth hater's (IE Skeptical OB) numbers it is around .010% difference. They use fear mongering headlines like "home birth deaths are three times higher than hospital deaths" when citing studies that show 0.03 deaths per 1,000 in a hospital versus 0.12 deaths per 1,000 in a home setting.

    Zsuzsanna is correct: the same people who bash home birth are the same ones who bash raw milk and say that it is perfectly safe to eat GMOs, to inject aborted babies into our children via vaccines, to eat fast food and drink corn syrup all day every day.

  18. You look great I can't believe you just had a baby a little over a month ago. I had the hardest time losing weight after my last kid I still haven't lost it and I gave birth to him almost 4 years ago. After my first three kids I lost all the weight now I don't know what's up. But you look beautiful.

  19. Praise the Lord! You did not do anything to put you or your baby at risk by having a home birth.........we are planning our second home birth this September and are much more confident in a trained midwife than the circus act of trainee's and ER staff that have never delivered a baby before at our first 4 hospital births ( 3 of them military hospitals)...not to mention the unsanitary restroom sharing with a dozen other postpartum women.....sounds like your prior OB was too ashamed to see a successful home birth baby...hope she gets over herself =)

  20. Zsu, you did the right thing. Bottom line. Had you gone to the hospital, I am near positive that because of your history in this pregnancy, they would've pushed every intervention under the sun. The outcome could've been traumatizing for you, (like you need more to deal with after such a difficult time) and possibly deadly for little Boaz. It's disheartening that so many people are so misinformed about birth options, the hospital simply is not the safest place to birth for low risk mothers, such as yourself.

    Further, CPM's are quite educated, they attend midwifery school, while others come to midwifery with nursing backgrounds (some CPMs will attend both nursing school and midwifery school and choose not to go the nurse midwife route) , they are listed by MANA, even in states that do not recognize them.
    CPMs are also better trained to handle birth without intervention than doctors, full stop. About five percent of doctors and nurses have seen an uninterrupted physiological birth, while midwives, in the course of their careers, will see hundreds. Your ob has never seen an healthy, uninterrupted birth, most likely, and will create complications in the name of risk management. Cytotec (a drug for stomach ulcers that is contraindicated in childbirth) synthetic oxytocin, episiotomy, forceps delivery,c section, epidural etcetera, are not safe, they are not the best option for the birthing woman, they are not the best option for the baby. They are risky. Commenters say homebirth is unsafe and I ask, after doing the research, how can you, in a low risk scenario, put your child in unnecessary peril in the hospital?

    As for the studies, they are conducted by doctors. Doctors who have a vested interest in medical birth. Doctors who ate paid by the intervention. Would you rush to conduct a study that would make your job obsolete? Follow the money.

  21. Dear Zsuzsana
    I am surprised anyone takes such issue with YOUR CHOICES. And as a fellow woman and Mom, I expect to have control over my choices. The one place I can never reconcile myself with you (and I read you often, and enjoy much of what you have to say) is your views on IVF and how it equates with abortion. And I am curious, if I tell you my story, will you hate me, or understand me better? I married a wonderful man, and we purposed to have children. (Yes I have read your quotes on God making the womb ready). The only problem was that as a child, my husband had three operations that essentially rendered him incapable. His mother didn't know that these procedures would have that effect, and neither did we when we started. We were investigated (painfully so) and found the answer. The only way to have children was to surgically extract sperm from him, remove my eggs, and hope that they would result in embryos. We did not go gung-ho attempting to create dozens of embryos. Rather, we only did as many as we were prepared for. We agreed at the outset that we would not throw a single embryo away, or donate it to science. Each one would be put back in me and given a chance at life. Some made it, some did not, and I see this almost the same way as if you became pregnant naturally, and the embryo arrested growth - happens to many many women naturally. The process is agonizing, invasive, but ultimately gave us our darling children whom we cherish and feel deeply blessed to have. I write all of this knowing your feelings, and that you allow people to disagree if they do so respectfully. But I did NOT abort a single embryo, a fetus, at no point do I believe I participated in abortion and I take great offence that you would see me that way. It may be my own insecurity talking, but there it is. I'm sorry you get hate for your choices, and I wish you would attempt to understand mine. I wish you and your beautiful family the best.

  22. So happy that you were able to have a homebirth with this little one. God bless you all and have a great summer.

  23. You are so right!! I can't stand how people dare to say such things when you obviously know what's best for you and your baby! Due to complications I wasn't able to see an ob with my first pregnancy till the beginning of the 3rd trimester, after telling the nurse from our first visit that I wasn't accepting a pelvic exam (because God made woman to have baby's why do I need anyone to check me for "how much room" or diseases I have no chance of catching because I've only had a physical relationship with my husband, and it's truly unnecessary) the ob turned us away refusing to do an ultrasound so we could see our precious son (which we didn't know would be a boy at the time) when my husband spoke up and calmly and nicely told her no, she became flustered and rude and acted as if we were idiots, needless to say I was very upset when we went home that day!! Praise God I have such an amazing husband he then found an amazing midwife who not only agreed to my choices but she worked with us financially as well! We were able to see our son for the first time the day before meeting her, and I had a quick happy delivery!! Our son Daniel Wilton is now six months old and such a happy baby!! No vaccines and exclusively breastfed!! Praise God for making women the way they are, were meant to have babies! Let's not treat it as if we have a disease!!

  24. Oh and also we have baby #2 on the way and we're happily having another home birth!! (Let me add I see nothing wrong with hospital births if that's your choice, but don't fall victim to the unnecessary interventions!)

  25. One more thing sorry!! Right after we we're rudely turned away at the doctors office, my grandmother (when I told her we got kicked out because I refused the pelvic exam and we decided on a homebirth) who gave birth to my father in a hut in the Philippines (probably one of the worst ways to give birth but both she and my father were perfectly healthy) told me that me and my unborn child were going to die! It caused me so much fear to hear that! Its sad how uninformed and misled people are concerning homebirths!!


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