A reader from Ohio left a comment asking for my thoughts on miscarriage. She had asked for the comment not to be published, but did not include an email address to which I could respond.
Not wanting to ignore her questions, I decided to write a general post on this topic.
I am very sorry for your loss, and hope you are recovering well.
You asked whether I thought that "everything happens for a reason" or just that these things happen as part of living in an imperfect world - I think it is a bit of both. Yes, we live in an imperfect world that exposes us to maybe unnecessary hazards, particularly in regards to the health and safety of our unborn. Most of the time, we have no way to protect ourselves from these dangers - one example would be our toxic drinking water. But at the same time, I do firmly believe that God is in control, and that if we pray for His protection, He will only allow such circumstances to turn out one way or the other based on His plans.
The Bible over and over again makes it clear that life begins at conception - the moment the sperm and egg unite.
Here is one example:
Isa 7:14 Therefore the Lord himself shall give you a sign; Behold, a virgin shall conceive, and bear a son, and shall call his name Immanuel.
Mat 1:23 Behold, a virgin shall be with child, and shall bring forth a son, and they shall call his name Emmanuel, which being interpreted is, God with us.
It is clear that the Bible, in quoting from Isaiah, equates "conceiving" with "being with child".
The following verse in Hosea shows the progression of pregnancy, in reverse order:
Hos 9:11 As for Ephraim, their glory shall fly away like a bird, from the birth, and from the womb, and from the conception.
Pregnancy, which the Bible calls "being with child", is again shown to begin at conception, continue through the time in the womb, and end in birth.
Right from the very beginning, this is a new human life, with a unique soul and spirit, regardless of how "developed" it may appear. This is one reason why many Christians do not approve of fertility treatments or methods of birth control that destroy life at any time after conception (i.e., IVF, birth control pills, IUDs, etc).
Furthermore, the Bible is clear on the fact that young children, babies, and the unborn that are too young to believe on God for salvation are not held accountable, and go to heaven when they die.
Why died I not from the womb? why did I not give up the ghost when I came out of the belly? Why did the knees prevent me? or why the breasts that I should suck? For now should I have lain still and been quiet, I should have slept: then had I been at rest, With kings and counsellors of the earth, which built desolate places for themselves; Or with princes that had gold, who filled their houses with silver: Or as an hidden untimely birth I had not been; as infants which never saw light. There the wicked cease from troubling; and there the weary be at rest. There the prisoners rest together; they hear not the voice of the oppressor. The small and great are there; and the servant is free from his master.
And Nathan departed unto his house. And the LORD struck the child that Uriah's wife bare unto David, and it was very sick. David therefore besought God for the child; and David fasted, and went in, and lay all night upon the earth. And the elders of his house arose, and went to him, to raise him up from the earth: but he would not, neither did he eat bread with them. And it came to pass on the seventh day, that the child died. And the servants of David feared to tell him that the child was dead: for they said, Behold, while the child was yet alive, we spake unto him, and he would not hearken unto our voice: how will he then vex himself, if we tell him that the child is dead? But when David saw that his servants whispered, David perceived that the child was dead: therefore David said unto his servants, Is the child dead? And they said, He is dead. Then David arose from the earth, and washed, and anointed himself, and changed his apparel, and came into the house of the LORD, and worshipped: then he came to his own house; and when he required, they set bread before him, and he did eat. Then said his servants unto him, What thing is this that thou hast done? thou didst fast and weep for the child, while it was alive; but when the child was dead, thou didst rise and eat bread. And he said, While the child was yet alive, I fasted and wept: for I said, Who can tell whether GOD will be gracious to me, that the child may live? But now he is dead, wherefore should I fast? can I bring him back again? I shall go to him, but he shall not return to me.
I hope these verses will help and encourage you. My husband showed them to me when we lost our first child to miscarriage shortly after finding out we were expecting - it was a very devastating experience. Twelve years later, I still remember the details, just as I remember the births of our other children vividly.
Many blessings to you and your family!