Thursday, July 31, 2008

Traffic school... GRRRR

In June, coming back from our camping trip, I got a speeding ticket in some backwoods little town. Apparently, the cop who was following me averaged my speed at 62.8 mph in a 50 mph zone. I wonder why it was safe for him to follow me all the way through town and then another mile or two down the road at the same speed if going that fast was such a hazard? I wasn't even aware of any town because there were no houses (that I noticed, anyway). I am not saying I wasn't going above the posted speed limit. I am simply saying that every driver is bound to make a harmless mistake like that and that the goal of the police was not to keep anyone safe but to bring in revenue. Why any society would pay someone to police them ("Here, can I pay you to make sure I obey all the laws, please?") is absurd. The guy was a rude jerk, too. He gave me 2 weeks to appear at court (or send in $130 for the ticket) and did not give me the sheet about traffic school he was supposed to give me. I found out that I had the option to attend traffic school in lieu of paying the ticket or going to court when I called the court. I guess the cop was hoping I would just pay the ticket (after all, he has to make his mortgage payment and pay for his daughter's braces) since there is no way to even complete traffic school in the short amount of time he gave me.

Anyway, the court was so gracious as to extend my deadline by another month, and also gave me information on an online traffic course I could complete so the ticket wouldn't go on my driving record. Which, by the way, is clean because my last ticket was from 6 years ago.

This online traffic school is driving me crazy. For one, the pages are timed and I cannot move on to the next page until I have "done my time". It must be based on the reading level of a 1st grader because it takes me about 1/4 of the time that they allot to read the page. Just to make sure I don't leave the computer and go do something worthwhile with my time, a window pops up every minute asking if I am still reading. If I don't click "yes" within a few seconds I automatically get logged off and have to start that section over again. So here I am, blogging away while clicking "yes" every minute.

The second reason why I hate this course is because it is written in the most condescending and obnoxious tone. Because let's face it, having gone 12.8 mph over the speed limit puts me in the same category as a sex offender. And so, because I have nothing better to do (other than clicking "yes" every minute) let me share some of their idiocies:

Immature people treat laws as if they were created for other people, not them. They act as if legislation was designed to prevent them from having fun. Like children, they do not understand that laws are made by people for people.

Aw, thanks for clarifying that. All mature people obey all laws all of the time. Or at least that's what the government wishes.

Without the guidance of rules, even the universe could not function.

How true! But I wonder - who made those rules? Of course they are not giving God any credit for establishing the laws of nature.

Fortunately, most people are mature enough to recognize the value of rules. They are self-regulators. [...] Unfortunately, not all drivers are self- regulating. Not all drivers self-enforce the driving laws. That is why others must enforce the laws. [...] A long with city, county, state, and federal governments, there are special interest groups who influence which laws are passed. Insurance companies and environmental groups are among those who influence traffic legislation. [...] Think of traffic laws as the government's contribution toward keeping you and your loved ones alive.

Thank you, thank you dear government for keeping us alive and protecting us from non-self-regulators like myself. But here's an idea for cut down on about 50% of the approximately 45,000 traffic fatalities each year - outlaw alcohol and drugs, which are the cause behind many of these accidents.

In 2005, there were 43,443 people killed on our roads. 16,885 of the deaths were related to alcohol intoxication, which is 39 percent of all the deaths. In 2005 in Arizona alone, of the 1,179 people killed on our roads, 508 or 43% were related to alcohol intoxication. Nationwide, there is a alcohol-related fatality every 31 minutes!

See, just like I said.

Big rig drivers are among the safest and most courteous drivers on the road.

Yeah, I wish. I'm sure there are SOME nice, safe, and courteous drivers but I would say that's the exception and not the rule.

How would you like to be traveling right next to a big guy when one of those massive tires explodes? No, I wouldn't think you would.

Cute joke. I seriously think that whoever wrote this course was gay.

As many drivers are coming to learn in Arizona, you do not necessarily need to be physically pulled over by an officer in order to receive a traffic ticket. The new traffic safety wave in Arizona is photo radar. With the support of drivers and residents in the communities Arizona currently has cameras in Chandler, Mesa, Paradise Valley, Phoenix, Scottsdale, and Tempe.

They didn't have my support. In fact, I don't recall any public votes on installing these cameras. Whenever a city needs more money, they just put up more cameras.

Speed kills. If you don't believe that, answer this question. Would you rather have a collision in a vehicle traveling 5 miles per hour or one traveling 75 miles per hour? Right � me too.

Let's all just walk or ride bikes and horses from now on, because we'd all rather travel at 5 mph.

Railroad crossings are intersections. This is one confrontation you cannot win.

See what I mean about the gay jokes?

In an ideal world, you would never need to pass. Everyone would travel at the basic speed limit (the safest legal speed for the situation), and no one would ever need to pass.

In an ideal world, we would all be manufactured clones of the government who eat, sleep, and go to work to support the politicians' licentious lifestyles.

One important step is to find out if the vehicle you are driving has a split-system master brake cylinder. This type of master cylinder is on all vehicles manufactured since 1968.

Another stupid thing about this course is that it is totally outdated. There are entire sections dedicated to teaching me how to pump my brakes if I have to stop suddenly, only to end the paragraph by saying "If your vehicle has anti-lock brakes, you MUST NOT pump them." Wouldn't that be the majority of cars on the road today? And how many people drive a car that was manufactured before 1968, and if they do, wouldn't they know enough about it to know how to brake safely?

Anyway, I have had enough for tonight. There's still about 20% of the course left to complete but unfortunately, you'll have to miss out on that part.


  1. I'm sorry that you have to go though that course. From what I read, I have gotten more speeding tickets than you have, in fact, if I get 1 more before the end of the year, my license will suspended for 6 months, and then I will have to go through traffic school.
    Have you noticed that it seems more women than men get speeding tickets? Or is that just my imagination?

    On another note, did you get my e-mail about the Hymnal? I was just wondering which one your church uses. I love those old hymns.

  2. Traffic school is the stupidest thing
    in the Universe.We need Freedom.



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