tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post6764666767113521380..comments2024-03-05T19:29:18.578-07:00Comments on ARE THEY ALL YOURS?!??: Answering large family objections, Part 1 - My, how neglected and overworked your other children are!Zsuzsannahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/03062136377263894876noreply@blogger.comBlogger24125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-67125113410103245972016-07-06T09:53:10.754-07:002016-07-06T09:53:10.754-07:00Well said ZsuzannaWell said ZsuzannaCorsairhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/13924871339068223349noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-63974263176222425172016-01-16T07:11:37.809-07:002016-01-16T07:11:37.809-07:00Honestly, I am a bit curious, too, about why colle...Honestly, I am a bit curious, too, about why college is important. I love to learn, and certainly have never stopped, but paying for college when you don't intend to use it to get a job (especially in this day and age, when college is mind-bogglingly expensive) seems like poor stewardship to me. I have never understood the belief that one must go to college to be a worthwhile person. I love the fact that I can continue my education all my life for free at home or with online classes *without* wasting all that money! I have not encouraged any of my kids to go to college unless they have a passion for a particular field where they need a degree. We encourage them work in a number of different jobs where they will gain practical skills that will benefit them in life. I think a lot of financial problems are caused by directionless education and people who only learn how to learn, rather than how to work. <br /><br />Sorry! I got on my soapbox there and obviously I'm not directing those observations at you personally! It's just what I see in society in general. I really am interested in your philosophy, why you want all your children to go to college regardless of whether they will use the degree. It's so different than the conclusion we have reached, and I'm curious.homefirehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01963303856769352765noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-76475230667214787132015-12-08T05:53:43.354-07:002015-12-08T05:53:43.354-07:00Well said Susan.
:)Well said Susan.<br /><br />:)Louise Mcbridehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12706145481763938087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-13239674410550809532015-12-07T06:02:04.597-07:002015-12-07T06:02:04.597-07:00This is in response to Prim who stated that "...This is in response to Prim who stated that "childless folks have lived a life generally miserable."<br /><br />I totally understand that people who choose to raise large families don't care for generalizations; please be advised ma'am that this courtesy works both ways!<br /><br />I personally am acquainted with both happy and "miserable" people who have children and several of other types who do not have children.<br /><br />If you don't approve of someone's lifestyle that is fine. <br /><br />Please do not label us, ma'am.Louise Mcbridehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12706145481763938087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-3503637869843848112015-11-30T10:42:50.095-07:002015-11-30T10:42:50.095-07:00I had 7 siblings and adored my childhood. As an ad...I had 7 siblings and adored my childhood. As an adult, I now realize all of my important life skills I learned in my family: peaceful communication, organization, leadership, selflessness, efficiency... <br />However, I do know large families in our circles who were dysfunctional and it all had to do with the parents. <br /><br />My parents' marriage was their priority and they communicated well enough that we never heard them fight. So our home environment felt joyful and safe. I did grow up seeing other families (including relatives) with exhausted and frazzled mothers, a lot of yelling going on and misbehaving kids. It scared me at the time and I didn't like visiting them. Now I attribute it to marriage problems: absent fathers who worked long hours to avoid being at home, and bitter mothers who felt completely undervalued by their husband. They acted like self-righteous Christians for having so many kids but deep down, I'm not sure they viewed their children as blessings.<br /><br />Second, my experience was good because we all pitched in at home, both girls and boys, older kids and younger kids. Babysitting was also a responsibility shared by boys and girls. How do you train a boy to become a father if they never take care of younger children? I knew many families where the older girls and mom did EVERYTHING, a great way to raise slaves on one hand and lazy brats on the other. I remember a girl my age who wouldn't marry because she was afraid her parent's household would fall apart without her! That is terrible parenting and no child should feel that burden on their shoulders. <br /><br />So I guess a happy home has everything to do with the parents setting the right tone and the right expectations. Apart from that, kids will adapt to pretty much any material situation. Honestly, I read this blog because it reminds me so much of the deep bond I had with my siblings growing up, so please know Zsu that you are giving them the best gift a child could wish for. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-29599414761866974872015-11-28T08:29:34.531-07:002015-11-28T08:29:34.531-07:00How come no one ever points out that there are fam...How come no one ever points out that there are families that only have 1 or 2 kids that are neglected and overworked? Those issues can happen in any situation. If a mom is spending hours on the internet criticizing how other people live, their kids might be neglected! <br /><br />I think family size is personal. Criticism can go the other way too. People have said they feel sorry for my daughter because she's an only child. They have said that our holidays must be so boring. People have said my husband and I are "selfish" because we only have one. People assume that I have hours and hours of free "me" time. Strangers and friends have asked me why I only have 1. That's not something I ever want to discuss and it's something that shouldn't be speculated about. <br /><br />I really believe that we should be letting people live the lives they want to live. Do we really want to live somewhere that has rules on how many children you should have? Susannoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-55049983993162380662015-11-27T16:48:24.170-07:002015-11-27T16:48:24.170-07:00Whew! I'm glad to hear you say that. Because...Whew! I'm glad to hear you say that. Because I only "know" you by your writing, I likely assume you are far more extreme / angry / rigid (paranoid?) than you actually are!<br /><br />An online communication problem, to be sure.no1https://www.blogger.com/profile/17362282168540586585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-54477095841557184102015-11-27T16:25:55.703-07:002015-11-27T16:25:55.703-07:00It's crazy that you even have to write this po...It's crazy that you even have to write this post. What an upside down world we live in where having lots of kids is considered a bad thing by most! I think it's wonderful that you're raising your kids to be helpful, productive and considerate. Can't believe someone would have something negative to say about that!<br /><br />Anjaleehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09879378893354146144noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-53310916824540758092015-11-27T06:06:05.645-07:002015-11-27T06:06:05.645-07:00Hello, I often read your blog and my husband and I...Hello, I often read your blog and my husband and I both listen to your husband's sermons on youtube frequently :). I just wanted to say that it's refreshing to hear such an honest to-the-point response on other people's objections towards large families. I have eight siblings myself, and am currently expecting #2. While I can attest to and understand a lot of the so-called "downsides" of a large family, I have to say to all the people on here who are against being fruitful and multiplying (which is a commandment, not a suggestion or mild encouragement, by the way) because someone they knew was very unhappy with their situation... this can be the case with ANY size family. If those children were abused and unhappy and not being raised up in a godly manner, this would have happened irregardless of how many siblings they had. Growing up can be tough with one sibling or eight. And the point you made about siblings being the best part about growing up is so true. If the situation is tough, siblings can be your supporters. They will be your best memories and what you hold onto when you are grown up and life is still just as hard. <br />Also, another issue that Christian's are ignoring these days is the dwindling number OF Christians. While Muslims are having children by the dozen, Christians are keeping to the typical 2.5. Think about the impact this is having on the spread of Christianity. While Satan's army grows bigger everyday, those who call themselves the Children of Christ are doing the devils bidding by not being fruitful. <br /><br /><br />P.S., another blessing of having many children is all the grandkids and cousins that will come about in the coming decades :). There are currently 13 cousins/grandchildren in my family with more on the way. And think about how many grandchildren there will be if each child has their own 9+... the numbers can will multiply into the hundreds. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-31140606142592477752015-11-26T23:06:39.524-07:002015-11-26T23:06:39.524-07:00Ultimately, no matter how hard you work to provide...Ultimately, no matter how hard you work to provide, or how frugal you are, it comes down to having faith in God's provision, walking by faith and not by sight, and in turn being blessed with having all our needs and many of our wants met. We have never been able to afford another child, but with God's help, it has always worked out. I'm sorry, I don't know how to explain it other than that. Zsuzsannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03062136377263894876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-14435950835496108182015-11-26T23:04:02.752-07:002015-11-26T23:04:02.752-07:00I agree that there are all shades of philosophies ...I agree that there are all shades of philosophies regarding family size. Just because I addressed one extreme end of the spectrum (since that is the one most likely to be debated online because it's anonymous), does not mean I don't recognize there are many other, more moderate, views. Zsuzsannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03062136377263894876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-24498072657033562112015-11-26T23:01:53.104-07:002015-11-26T23:01:53.104-07:00I should clarify that by "haters," I don...I should clarify that by "haters," I don't mean people with different philosophies as ours regarding family size, or those who are curious, shocked, indifferent, etc. I mean people who actually, literally, hate large families. Like the devout satanists in our neighborhood with the bumper sticker "Stop breeding," or some of the horrible (never published) comments I receive on this blog, or the bitter hags online who spend their many lonely hours discussing large families with an online presence in various online forums. Thankfully, these people are few and far between. In everyday, real life, people are almost always genuinely happy when they see our family, even though that may not be what they chose for themselves. Zsuzsannahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/03062136377263894876noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-5376047953405726512015-11-26T22:48:49.579-07:002015-11-26T22:48:49.579-07:00I tottaly agree! I myself know a lot of sad outcom...I tottaly agree! I myself know a lot of sad outcomes:(Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-63767642717602480372015-11-26T09:08:04.876-07:002015-11-26T09:08:04.876-07:00Good point that disapproval doesn't necessary ...Good point that disapproval doesn't necessary constitute "hate."<br /><br />I don't have children. This was my choice. I am now fifty years old but when I was younger and married I also experienced disapproval of my choice.Louise Mcbridehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12706145481763938087noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-8510865407472304012015-11-26T01:20:25.620-07:002015-11-26T01:20:25.620-07:00I dont think you need to explain yourself, but you...I dont think you need to explain yourself, but your post makes sense to me. I would be interested to know how you afford a big family. We certainly cant afford more than two. I am truely interested and not judging at all.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-24714494002690692082015-11-26T00:06:56.303-07:002015-11-26T00:06:56.303-07:00I wonder if this is a troll comment.
As someone ...I wonder if this is a troll comment.<br /><br /> As someone who is very impacted by M.s. (sisters, mother, aunt, family friends), I seriously question the authenticity of this anonymous statement.<br /><br /> 13 children to a woman with m.s., her first 6 in a wheel chair! M.s. does have variations, but being so young in a wheel chair is really rather on the rarer side, I am assuming she did not have 13 kids starting in her late 30s, or early 40s. To have lived so long, I am guessing about 20 years in a wheel chair with the most crippling form of M.S., is also rare. Read any literature put out by M.S. organizations, they support women's choices to have children, as M.S. does affect many women in child bearing ages, AND they state that usually M.S. flare ups lessen during pregnancy. People with M.S. want to live a fulfilling life, so, supporting their choices to have families is important. Flareups can be caused by stress; one can feel stressed if they only live life to serve the master multiple sclerosis (aka not have children, even if they want children). <br /><br />My mother's M.S. M.g. went in a 20 year remission during her child raising years. I will concede, again, that there are varying levels of m.s. <br /><br /> Of course, I could be wrong about Anonymous, but I doubt the honest of such an poorly executed comment. <br /><br />So, I guess since some people (if you didn't make this up) are dissatisfied with their lives as mothers, motherhood generally must be horrid! Are you saying children of a handicapped, or ill parent, can't be happy? Haha, please! My husband and kids would laugh at this! My kids are the happiest kids I have ever met, and their daddy was run over by a giant machine, almost died, and now can hardly walk...but does this phase our 4, no way! We answered the situation with calmness, open minds, and gratefulness of the blessings we have. We even learn tons of cool medical things while he receives care!<br /><br /> I know many people who never had children. The childless folks have lived a life generally miserable with all their "freedom from responsibility"...so, by your example, that means I should go on blogs that are for limiting family size and post comments on the terrible lives of those people I know!<br /><br />Are you really commenting to express that people don't hate large families, come on? Or, are you commenting to be a Debi Downer? I am gonna guess the latter, with a bit of falsehoods thrown in there. Some people really do hate large families. I have been stopped many a times by people who comment how wonderfully behaved my children are, how happy we are, how they know a cool big family...but they would never want that yucky happiness of their own! Children are innocent, willing to forgive, loving, giving, and generally everyone knows this. Yet, though they acknowledge the delights of childhood, people by the droves shun children. People really are out there, in abundance, who do hate kids. Why? Because they hate God, they hate truth, they hate admitting that they have done things that are bad.<br /><br /> If you are a Christian, you should love what God loves. God loves the little children. God loves work. God loves serving others. I love being a baby sitter, diaper changer, breast feeder, dish washer (you name it). If you don't, why are you on the large family blog? The answer- you are a troll.Primnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-77347349162720723162015-11-25T20:22:07.488-07:002015-11-25T20:22:07.488-07:00I am so sorry that you perceive others as being &q...I am so sorry that you perceive others as being "haters." I am much more inclined to view the world as a full spectrum of greys as opposed to strict black / white thinking. I propose that others are less likely to be large family haters and more likely to be surprised, amazed, or curious about how the family / household functions. no1https://www.blogger.com/profile/17362282168540586585noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-9155570423280644492015-11-25T17:59:37.011-07:002015-11-25T17:59:37.011-07:00I love this! So wise. 5 years and still waiting fo...I love this! So wise. 5 years and still waiting for God to open my womb and bless me and my husband with a child. Many blessings to you and your growing family! Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-83593698350588991502015-11-25T14:08:46.957-07:002015-11-25T14:08:46.957-07:00Congratulations! I personally love big families. ...Congratulations! I personally love big families. No one likes to see neglected children or large families mooching off the government, but I am always so happy to hear that responsible Christians are having children and don't try to prevent them. Blessed is the man whose quiver is full of them!Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-13172017783352202942015-11-25T09:57:08.447-07:002015-11-25T09:57:08.447-07:00I couldn't agree with this more and I don'...I couldn't agree with this more and I don't have any children yet. Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-88925884624739207232015-11-25T09:16:49.772-07:002015-11-25T09:16:49.772-07:00It's all so, so true! That's all I can thi...It's all so, so true! That's all I can think of to say, except... amen! :)<br /><br />Diana Dianahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/10301075330910381544noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-29346571966620789472015-11-25T07:24:15.626-07:002015-11-25T07:24:15.626-07:00Again, I say, choice goes both ways. My Dear, you...Again, I say, choice goes both ways. My Dear, you and I are very opposite in our views of the Lord, but this we agree on. Sadly, my husband and I did not have as many children as we desired, but enough to cause e some folks to raise the above questions. Add to that being a college educated woman who stays home with the children...BY CHOICE, an d the vitriol....oh my. My mother held two master's degrees, yet she too stayed home and educated the six of us. It was our parents' hope that my sister and I would get to choose our paths as well, should we marry and have kids...AFTER COLLEGE. My mother's response to haters who would ask "Why is ceducation so important if you hope they'll be housewives?" "If you have to ask the question, you'll never understand the answer!" While I appreciate reading your thoughts, you and your husband owe nobody any explanation about your family size, ever. And again, I say this while reeling at some of your other views. Here's to a healthy baby. Merry Christmas.Meg B.https://www.blogger.com/profile/07787702814280004076noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-22440577175031443852015-11-25T01:53:39.592-07:002015-11-25T01:53:39.592-07:00I know that there are some people who can cope wit...I know that there are some people who can cope with large family, but I don't think everybody can handle that. My friends parents also believed (and still believe) that you should leave your family size in God's hands. They have 13 children and the mother suffers from multiple sclerosis. She had 6 of her youngest children when she was already in a wheelchair. The children have gone through depression, anxiety and all kinds of misery. My friend has told that she basically spend her youth changind diapers, being a baby sitter/mom/cleaning lady/lunch lady (you name it). She only has 2 children and wont be having more and is still suffering from depression. I know she isn't the only one, I know a large family mum who took her own life and many others who are struggling. So if people aren't thrilled about super-size families, it doesn't necessary mean that they HATE large families, maybe they have just seen too much what goes on behind closed doors.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-3454355557116314654.post-1251466988166657312015-11-24T22:31:56.838-07:002015-11-24T22:31:56.838-07:00It's sad you had to even write this post. I...It's sad you had to even write this post. I'm so excited for you and your family!! As an only child, I love watching my children growing up best friends and I especially love how much they love their little brother. I don't think children of large families are suffering-- quite the opposite!! They are gaining many valuable skills! And best of all they are learning to love being at home. Our culture puts far too much value on extra curricular activities and "socializing ". We are teaching our children to love being home with family and the contentment it brings. Great post and again, congratulations on your new member of the family! Elle Ibaneznoreply@blogger.com