Sunday, July 31, 2016

Words are powerful

I often get asked, "What do you call your husband at home?"

Obviously, I call him by his first name, Steve. But at church, or when talking to church members and others who only know him as a pastor, I always refer to him as "Pastor Anderson." Even when directly addressing him, I avoid calling him by his first name when others can hear. We have been in the ministry long enough to know that people who are too chummy with the pastor quickly become disrespectful and treat him as a buddy, not an elder as the Bible admonishes. This attitude then spreads like a wildfire.

I would no more talk about "Steve" to another church member than I would call him that to the kids when speaking about their dad, as in: "Please take this to Dad," and not "Give this to Steve". Married couples who refer to the other parent by their first name to the kids  show great disregard for the that parent's status of being an authority figure to the children, and not their co-equal. It is a passive aggressive way to show disrespect, and one the kids are certain to pick up on and perpetuate. These couples always have troubled marriages because they fail to appropriately honor the other out of a false sense of pride. A good wife who is interested in seeing her husband honored and succeeding will always strive to build him up in the estimation of others, and should never intentionally try to "take him down a notch", especially so publicly or to the children. 

In much the same manner, those who are legitimately on a first-name basis with the pastor but refuse to address him with his title of honor to those who only know him as that, do so out of pride, as well as a show-boating of the fact that they are in the pastor's inner circle. It doesn't get any closer than being married to the pastor, but I don't feel the need to rub that in to give myself more clout. 

I am thankful that when my husband first expressed his desire to be a pastor someday to our pastor at that time, the pastor's wife impressed the importance of this concept on me. In turn, I have tried to teach this to the wives of pastors we have sent out. My husband and I are both on a first-name basis with several pastors, but only ever address them as "Pastor so-and-so" publicly.

On my blog, which is read both by people who know him as Pastor Anderson as well as personal friends and family who know him as Steve, I avoid having to choose either by only ever referring to him as "my husband" which is neither awkward nor disrespectful. 

The words we use reveal much about ourselves and issues we struggle with, such as humility and showing honor to whom honor is due. 

Friday, July 29, 2016

Homeschool Tips: You can do this!

Having talked about not expecting too much of your young student(s), today I have another bit of wisdom to share with first-time homeschoolers: relax, you can do this!




You are already homeschooling

In fact, not only can you do this, but you ARE already home educating your child(ren). Presumably, long before you were getting serious about teaching your child his ABCs, you taught him how to say his first words, eat off a spoon, use rudimentary manners, and so on. There is a common and sad misconception that learning primarily takes place in school between the ages of 6 and 18. Of course, nothing could be farther from the truth. The foundation of academic learning is laid during that time, true. But a foundation is just a foundation, leaving much room to grow in knowledge and understanding over the course of a lifetime. And academic learning is not the only type of learning there is. 

The examples above are just some of the ways in which parents teach their child physical skills, character, and the like. If you are capable of doing that, you are capable of teaching book knowledge. Just as you knew when your child was ready to go from rolling over to sitting up to crawling to walking to running to jumping, you will know when your child is ready to to from learning his letters, to sounding out words, to reading and writing, to literature and book reports. Each child is a little different, and YOU as the parent will know best when he is ready for the next step, will know how to best motivate him, will know when to back off and when to expect more. 

I know there are many people who received a poor academic education themselves. This does not disqualify them from teaching their own children. To the contrary, by educating them at home, these people will fill in gaps in their learning. Anyone can teach a preschooler, and from there, as the parent teaches, she also learns herself, and gets smarter and better educated over time. 

Even for those who did well in school, homeschooling has much to offer in the way of helping us grow in character. Every parent knows that children bring out the best and worst in each of us. Being home with your children every day is a sink-or-swim way of developing godly character. If you don't like being around your children, there is a serious problem that needs to be addressed. Homeschooling teaches and grows the parents as much as it does the children.


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Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Homeschool Tips: Young kids

With the new school year upon us, I thought I should do a little mini-series where I give glimpses into how we approach homeschooling in our family. For more info, you can also click on the "School Room" tab at the top of this page.


Today's post will focus on homeschooling the younger kids.


Teach your kids to read

Teaching your children to read is the most important lesson you will ever teach them. Reading opens the door to all other learning. It also enables kids to work independently in their future studies, as they can read instructions and do their work without you having to spoon-feed them everything. 

Even if you do not plan on homeschooling, teaching your child to read before they enter school will pretty much guarantee their lifelong academic success as they maintain that momentum of being ahead, and having the confidence that comes with that.



Let kids be kids

The most common mistake I see among new and eager homeschoolers is that mom, excited to teach and determined not to leave any stone unturned, does too much, too soon. This translates into having expectations that are too high on younger students just starting out. Sadly, this can crush the young child's love of learning. 

When in doubt, do less! For a kindergarten student, "school" sessions of doing actual bookwork should be limited to 20 minutes at a time, for a maximum of twice per day. If you or the child feel frustration rising, stop right there and pick back up another time.

As a general rule, I do not enforce any set days for school until about 3rd grade. In those lower grades, kids have little bookwork, which can be caught up easily during those times that they want to sit still and there are not more pressing issues needing to be dealt with that day. In those grades, I also do not force the children to work on subjects they don't like. 

Learning in the lower grades should be student-led, interest-based, and hands-on. Examples of this are: Ask your child what (s)he is interested in, and get books from the library on that topic. Have family story time before bed as often as you can. Do lots of art projects, science experiments, field trips, etc. Involve the child(ren) in the daily work of running the home, whether that be watering the dog or keeping baby busy by talking to it. Besides reading, learning in the lower grades should focus on creating a love of learning, building confidence, and training character. Academic achievements can wait!

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