This place was so horrific, I actually spent a half hour of my time telling everyone in Google-land about "their newest store in Ahwatukee." And here I am, sharing it with you all, in hopes of sparing my readers the same experience.
I have been to this "Kneaders Bakery and Cafe" twice, and both experiences were terrible.
The first time I went was not too long after they opened, during a more busy time of day (about 11 am). Since I had never been there before, I parked and walked in so as to be able to look at the food rather than ordering off their drive-through menu. However, since the line went all the way to the entrance, and didn't seem to be moving, I changed my mind and decided to do the drive-through, after all. Sure enough, it moved much faster.
Ordering off their complicated menu, however, proved to be nothing but a major source of frustration. I will not include all the boring details of why sandwich X cannot be combined with combo Y, until your server is trying to sell you anything but the sandwich you originally wanted, but the interaction ended in me becoming so frustrated that I told the girl taking my order to just cancel it altogether, and that I'd be back after I had a chance to study their menu and earn my PhD in ordering off of it.
Normally, one such negative experience would have been enough for me never to go back to a restaurant a second time, but I figured the place is new and these were growing pains, plus there was that long line out the door so maybe the food was worth the trouble.
My second time around, I chose a more off time (very late morning, but not too close to lunch) and headed straight for the drive-through, after having already completely familiarized myself with the breakfast options and making my selection ahead of time. Such careful preparation paid off, and I was able to get my order in without my head spinning.
The moment I looked at the food, I regretted coming back a second time. I had ordered the "American omelet" (eggs, broccoli, ham, cheese), but without trying to be graphic or offensive, I must say it looked and smelled like something that had been previously eaten and then regurgitated. Clearly, the "eggs" were egg product of the lowest quality, the omelet was a big sloppy mess with discolored cheese product oozing fat puddles all over it. Even the broccoli tasted awful (really? how do you do that??). On the side, the "omelet" was served with toast, which was basically bread that was toasted on one side only, and overly soggy with some fake "buttery" spread on the other. It must be an art form to create overdone toast on one side, and soggy, greasy bread on the other - but the taste was disgusting. As the visual enhancement, the meal was further accompanied by 2 slices of orange, one of which was only orange peel, with zero actual orange in it. I guess they figured to freshen your palate after such an array of fake and distasteful foods, chewing on an orange rind would be the only thing to freshen your palate.
In addition to the omelet, I had also ordered a hot chocolate, as well as a half dozen chocolate croissants for the kids. The croissants were so stale and dry that I am almost certain they were day-old. The hot chocolate was simply disgusting (again, how can you mess up chocolate milk???). I tried to choke it down, remembering how much I'd just paid for it, but just couldn't.
If this had been IHOP, Denny's, or Waffle House, I wouldn't have been surprised. Heck, if it had been McDonald's, the food would have been just as fake, but at least it would have tasted better (not that I eat there). But for a place that passes itself off as a European style bakery, something more along the lines of Panera Bread or Wildflower Bread Company, and charges prices accordingly, this was simply ridiculous.
"We love great European bread!" - Too bad you don't serve it, not by a very long shot!
Just to emphasize how terrible I think this place is, let me add that as far as I can remember, this is the first review I have ever left on Google. I want to spare others the experience. If I could give it zero stars, I would.
Thank you for listening. I do feel so much better now that I have this off my chest. For my go-to recipe for true, classic, fail-safe croissants that taste just like the ones I had on an early morning stroll in Paris during a vacation many years ago, follow this link.