Thursday, January 9, 2014

Some good news

First the good news:

- I have had only very minimal leaking of amniotic fluid this whole week, making me hopeful that the amniopatch may be holding, after all. The amount I have leaked is much less than the fluid outside the membrane that still needs to drain off or be reabsorbed, so it seems like no new fluid has leaked out from Baby B's sac. We go back to see the specialist in town on Wednesday; we'll have to wait and see the results from that.

- Around the time that Baby A passed away, I was having a lot of nausea, as well as severe headaches, just from the major hormonal shift in my body, going from supporting two babies, to just one. But this week, I have been feeling very well physically, and my energy levels that have been in the dumps this entire pregnancy are actually higher than they usually are for me during pregnancy. I think my body has been working overtime from the very start, trying to support Baby A in spite of his compromised cord insertion and placental share. 

- I have decided on a hospital, and found a very nice OB supportive of natural birth that delivers there. She works with other ladies as her backups, but because both her office and her home are only minutes from the hospital, she makes it to most of her births. I saw her for the first time today, and was very happy with her, as well as all of her staff. 

- During today's visit, the OB did a quick ultrasound, and found Baby B's fluid level to be adequate, as well as both boys to be in head-down position. This is a relief to me, because up until now, they were both transverse, with Baby A on the bottom. Although their position can still change, I am happy to know it is possible for both of them to be in a good position for birth.

- Baby B is very active and moving much, which is a huge relief for me. Like most pregnant moms, I wake up often during the night for bathroom breaks, and never can fall back asleep until I feel a little nudge or kick. Baby has been very kind to be generous with his assurances in this regard.

Please continue to pray for the following: 

- That the amniopatch will hold, and there will be no more leaking besides what is already outside the membrane, and still needs to drain off.

- That Baby A's passing will not trigger premature labor. 

- That Baby B's sac will will not spontaneously rupture due to it already being compromised, that he would continue to have adequate fluid levels, and that he would not get an infection.

- That I get the financial issues with the hospital resolved - they originally quoted us $13k for the first surgery (that's just for the hospital, not the surgeon or the anesthesiologist). When the bill arrived, it was for over $33k. 

I didn't mention this yet, but when I went in for the laser surgery, the hospital was in the middle of renovating their OR. So the surgery was to take place in some other room that had temporarily been transformed into an OR, or maybe it was an old one they only use for backups, I'm not sure. In any case, it wasn't the room they usually use for their fetal surgeries. 

Start to finish, the laser surgery was supposed to take less than 1 hour. However, the staff first couldn't get the electronic equipment (cameras, screens, etc.) to work, or interface with one another. They finally gave up on that, and called the surgeon in. He had already administered the local anesthetic, and was counting down from 3 to let me know when he was going to put the tube into my stomach, through which he was going to insert the scope and laser. The tube was about the diameter of a thick pen/marker. Literally one second before he did, the entire power tower in the OR went out, cutting the power to his laser and scope. An overhead light stayed on, but that was about it. Had the doctor started only seconds earlier, he would have had to abort the surgery, which could not have been attempted a second time, and would have resulted in us losing both babies. 

Dr. C never lost his cool (admirable! It really made me feel much more confident at the time than I feel now just telling the story). He left the OR, and went hunting for the hospital's engineers. Evidently, some breaker had been tripped. Dr. C did not attempt the surgery again until he had two of the engineers sitting right outside the OR in front of some power switchboard, to make sure it wouldn't happen again. 

Because of all this, I was in the OR for over 3 hours. The additional charges on the itemized hospital bill almost exclusively stem from the fact that OR costs are calculated per minute after the first hour, as as the costs for anesthesia (I was getting intravenous sedatives). Plus, the staff had to scrub up twice, and I was prepped for surgery twice. 

I have been calling the lady in charge of our account at the hospital virtually every day, leaving her message after message, but she has yet to call me back. I am also writing up a letter to the head of their business office, disputing the additional charges. Please pray that all this resolves quickly, and with minimal effort on my part - it really is an unnecessary drain on me right now.

- Please pray for my emotional struggles. I do fine throughout most of the day, what with all the busyness and distractions, but nights are very difficult for me - especially after days like today, when I see both babies on the ultrasound. I really do not know what to expect as far as Baby A's condition at birth, so it's hard to prepare for that. I also am still very grieved about the loss, and just long to have him back. God is gracious to have allowed us to come this far, and for one baby to still be alive, and I know our little twin is much better off now than he was before - but the selfish part of me just wants to have him, hold him, and raise him. I am very thankful that if Baby B lives, we will have him as a carbon copy, so at least we will know what the other baby would have looked, and maybe even acted like. But yes, I am still very sad all the same.

- Please just generally remember us in your prayers. This pregnancy is going to remain a rollercoaster, and while things are looking up at this moment, that can literally change anytime from one second to the next.


That's all I can think of for now. Many, many thanks for the prayers, support, and words of encouragement. I have one final praise report: I received a new tablet as a gift this week from a dear family in our church! So hopefully between the craziness of juggling appointments, making phone calls, disputing bills, trying to get all my medical records in one place, and just keeping up with the day-to-day routine of our large family, I may actually get back to updating the blog more than once per week! :)


  1. Very very sorry to hear that one of them passed. Hoping for a safe birth.

  2. Were praying for you everytime the Lord brings you to our minds!! Honestly I have been wondering since baby A's passing how he is to come out? I wasn't sure if he must come out now or if he would be born when baby B is, or if he will pass causing lavor to start for babyB. Still confused but either way I've just been praying for continued grace and safety for babyB. I'm praying for strength and peace and comfort for you and your family.
    Happy to hear you have found a hosptial and staff/OB that you are happy with. Thats got to be a relief, and take a lot off your mind!
    I know so many say this, but we are truly praying, and so many are! Thanks for sharing an update ♥

  3. Praying daily for you all. Hope the children are coping okay. So glad for you that Pastor Anderson works at home now!

  4. My dear the lost child is not lost. He is with the Lord and is waiting for his appropriate place in the world. For right now, it's not with you at this time. Let's pray for your health and the health of the surviving child. The soul of baby A is right where it needs to be, and when you are stronger and the time is right, God will decide the future.

  5. I have been through exactly this same situation. 9 years ago. Stay strong, you are doing great. As for the condition of baby A when born, I can tell you, but I'm not sure you want me to write it out here in the open - you can answer back and I will email you if you like. I often look at my 9 year old daughter, especially when she stands in front of the mirror and I see two of her, and I just think what if???? But it wasn't meant to be, and her sister is somewhere with my beloved relatives who were waiting for her. It's not something that ever leaves you, unfortunately. When I had the laser (in Canada) I was one of the first in the country to get it and it was considered experimental. I was offered numerous abortions before we finally found someone to do the laser. For me I was able to have a natural birth in a hospital - so please know that there are many of us that are still able to have some control even after what we've been through.

  6. Please know that I am praying. The Lord brings you to my mind several times each day. And each time, I stop what I'm doing and I pray. (((((hugs))))) Truly, I cannot imagine having to weather this storm. But I do know God loves you... what matters to you is also dear to His heart and so He is not far from you at this time. And I pray that you can take refuge in this promise, Mrs. Anderson. Please continue to keep us posted as to how we can best be a source of encouragement to you and your family.

  7. I have been praying for you. I've wanted so badly to say something helpful, but knowing that I couldn't, I just decided to give my support through prayer.
    I am so glad to hear some good news today :) We know our God is good, but it doesn't make it easy to deal with the things in life that don't seem "good" from this side of the eternity.
    This summer, we lost our 5th baby in the second trimester. It was the result of a placenta/cord issue. I was very scared of what her condition would be like when she was actually born. In the days waiting ( trying to encourage things to happen naturally so we wouldn't be pressured into a d&c), I did a lot of reading and even looking at images at places like stillbirthday and lostinnocence. I wanted to be prepared. It wasn't pleasant, but I do feel like it helped me. When she was actually born, I had this intense sense of peace, and it didn't feel scary to look at her at all. I asked my husband if he wanted to se her, and he chose to, privately, but we made the decision not to let our children see her. We showed them pictures of babies at that developmental stage, when they asked questions, and I described them for her as they asked, but I didn't feel that it would be helpful for them to see her as she was. We did only had a bout a week and a half between her passing and being born.
    I know that it won't be exactly the same for you, but I am glad that you have found a good OB. Maybe you can develop a rapport with her, so that when the time come, she can help you make the decision you will feel best about ( in the long terms) in terms of sweet baby A. I know that I will never stop wondering about our little girl and what it would have been like to raise her, but I feel like God really did use her to reveal some issues, which I didn't even realize I had, and to heal them. Because of that little girl, I will be more the woman, mother, He created me to be. I am sad, but grateful. We are expecting again and almost to the point where we lost her. I am looking forward to getting past that point and being able to mentally/emotionally distinguish between these babies more clearly. I know that this little one wouldn't exist if not for that baby and all that happened. My children tell people that we have six children, including the one in Mama's tummy. It is bittersweet, as I am grateful they understand the value of human life, including her, but it is hard to explain to other people.
    I'm sharing all of this just because, while I know it is not the same, I feel like there are certain things I can understand. I have a special level of empathy for you that I couldn't possibly have had before this. It is a nice reminder that even with something so heart-breaking, God uses it to bring us closer to him; every sad moment making me lean more on him, less on myself. I will be praying for your comfort, for you to feel closer to God than ever, and to find the same sense of peace that I have through this.

  8. I am praying for all of you. Let yourself grieve. I can't say I understand. However, I am a mom & I know how strong the bond is even before they are born.Peace & blessings,Amy W.
    I have a friend & I just went to her baby shower,she had her baby at 32 weeks and he is small but active and progressing well.

  9. Peace & wellness, Zsuzsanna. From a liberal atheist. To you, family & baby B.

  10. Praying for you and your family.

  11. Sooooo good hearing from you again! We are praying and thinking of you so often. Glad you figured out where you will give birth and you like the OB. I know your heart is hurting and I feel so bad. Grieving over your baby with you, friend. Thankful you have the hope you will meet him one day in glory. God is faithful. Keep trusting and resting in Him.


  12. My heart truly breaks for your loss. I am an avid reader of your blog so I knew about this before, but wanted to wait a little bit to offer my condolences. My family has been praying for yours through this trial you are experiencing and we will continue to do so, praying that your remaining son will be healthy going forward. Your husband's sermons AND your blog have been a MAJOR blessing for me and my family, so we will continue to pray that your family will be blessed. I had a miscarriage myself a little over a year ago and although I was only a few weeks along it was the most devastating thing I have ever experienced. I still have those days where I wonder: was it a boy or a girl? What did he/she look like? What would he/she have "been" like? And on and on. Knowing the absolute anguish I have experienced from such an early loss I can't even imagine what you and your family must be going through since you were so much farther along and have had so many other difficulties with this pregnancy. Even though I don't know any of you personally, I somewhat feel like I do, and that's why I say truly that my heart breaks for your sorrow. As I said, the prayers of my family will remain with you all and lastly, I just want to say that you are an amazingly strong woman who is a wonderful example to women like myself. With love in Christ; Amanda

  13. Hurray for all of that good news! And I'm so excited to hear that you've found a great OB and a good hospital!! That's just awesome. I'll be praying for comfort as you approach your first (probable) hospital birth, as well as for all of your prayer requests. Thanks for keeping us updated!!!


  14. Hi Zsuzsa,

    I wanted to write earlier but every time I read your blog uncontrollable tears roll down my cheeks into my lap. I really love you all so much! I don't know you personally, but spiritually my heart is joined with yours. You have an army of soldiers fighting in prayer for you all. God bless you and all your wonderful family.
    Carol-Ann KJV1611 British Columbia, Canada

  15. continuing to pray

  16. Praying for you. I'm happy for all of the good news that you have experienced. With regard to the hospital, I'm not sure if anyone already suggested this but maybe have your husband call? We had insurance issues a couple of years ago while I was pregnant with my younger daughter. They were giving me the run-around and trying not to cover something they were supposed to cover and were hoping that I would shut-up and go away. Even telling them they were placing undue stress on me and the baby didn't help. My husband finally called and low and behold, it was taken care of. I hate that he had to take time from work to do it, but sometimes businesses take men more seriously.

  17. So glad that Baby B is doing well and there is minimal leaking. I am hopeful that you will be able to resolve the issues around the bill. I have had some experience with the billing department in a US hospital, working with uninsured families to get either a reasonable payment plan or what they called charitable assistance on enormous bills, getting them down to something the family could actually pay. It took phone calls, letter writing, and showing proofs of income but in the end it always worked out. I am hopeful that your hospital will eventually come through but yes, it is crazy stressful.
    I'm also so glad to hear that you found an OB you like and that both babies are head down! Those are not small things.

  18. I am sorry for all you have had to endure with this latest pregnancy. I am however having a hard time believing your story about the power failure, etc. I do though agree that if you have reservations about the bill being incorrect you should definitely call and discuss it with the billing office. And remember you can catch more flies with honey than with vinager.

  19. We met once a long time ago at your church location down in Tempe. I have to say, as a new mommy, you are a great inspiration to me. I can't imagine the emotions you and your family must be going thru, but do know you have my love and prayers.


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