Friday, December 7, 2012

Need I say more?

My apologies for not blogging much this week. We are on Christmas break, which means we are busier than ever with all the exciting things going on this time of year. 

In the meantime, I would like for you to consider the following comment I received on an old, but still popular blog post called "The Sin of Daycare."

God bless you, ZhuZhanna for this article! (You are so smart and a beautiful child of God). Well, this is my story.

Though I have a master's degree in reading education, I was forced to take a job at a daycare due to a sudden, unexpected financial crisis.

This is a Christian daycare. I would strongly advise parents to not put their children in a daycare. First of all, everyone there (including the pre-k teacher) is paid minimum wage, which is $7.79 here in Florida.

Everyone admits to HATING the job (except for the center director who lies and tells us, "it's all for the kids," while she pushes one down in their seat and screams at them. Again, we are all believers in Christ! We pray for the power of the Holy Spirit to get us through the day, but child care work is TOUGH! It is the female equivalent of construction work!!

It is SO NOISY - every minute of every day. It is SOOO DIRTY! The children in daycares are the most misbehaved children in the world. Even the best of us cannot escape the temptation to want to MURDER your child! Yes, we all yell at them. Yes, we ALL are at times way too mean and aggressive with YOUR KID.

WHAT ARE YOU DOING, parents of daycare kids? Are you insane? Your kids are being raised in FILTH by overworked women earning min. wage (or close to it).

And everyone gets sick. This is the most miserable time of my life. Child care is the worst job ever. It was rated the #1 most depressing job by a news article I read recently. Nobody is really in a good mood, and guess who pays the price for that? The kids!

What else... I don't know. What I do know is daycare is AWFUL. The angels of God aren't happy about it as they watch the kids they guard being mishandled. And parents of daycare kids should all be burnt at the stake (kidding) should be, well, we'll leave that up to God. By the way, many of the mothers are unemployed (yes, they are THAT lazy) and others are just selfish.
God bless.

Need I say more? Thank you for your honest, candid comment. I hope it is a wake-up call to many. 


  1. The only job I have ever had was in a Christian Child-care. The above describes it perfectly. I had to have my oldest there with me when she was a one year old. I peeked in the room during nap time once to find the woman holding a blanket over her face because she wasn't sleeping.

    I was pregnant and in the two year old room. I had 12 two year olds all by myself and was never given a break over the 8 hours I was in there. I was forced to use the small toddler toilet because being pregnant I could not go 8 hours. I had one day came home bleeding and lost one of my twins. After my son was born I never had to go back, three years home now praise the Lord.

    But yes, all those kids are mistreated because the women are overworked and some go in there hating children. I love kids but it is impossible to treat the kids right in that environment with a dozen kids the same age with the same needs. I have witnessed some terrible things and am so thankful to not have to go back or have my babies there.

    We live in poverty and sacrifice much but I am not willing to sacrifice my children. I only worked before because my husband lost his job and required it of me. Through much prayer God has worked on his heart and he now strives for us to fulfill our Biblical roles. Women need to trust God and stay home with their children.

    1. So you think its better to live in poverty and let your kids go without? I can't imagine why people would follow a god who wants their children to suffer just so they don't have to get up and go to work. If you could afford I would say more power to you, but you and your kids suffer.

    2. We only suffered when I was working!!!

      e are considered poverty financially but we sure don't feel it. We made big changes like selling our second vehicle, moving to a smaller apartment. We also made small changes like eating all our meals at home and cooking everything from scratch, second hand name brand clothes, making laundry detergent, and getting rid of the television.

      We all love our life and wouldn't trade it for anything. I assure you we are not at all suffering but thriving. God always provides more than enough. Life is not always going to be sunshine and rainbows, but there are trials and God always is faithful to see us through.

    3. "Let your kids go without..." that's so rediculus. Her kids I am SURE are not going without. They have a mom who loves them. And is raising them...loving them...caring for them. I am sure they don't go without food, clothing, etc. Children are so spoiled rotten for the fear of "going without" and having a "bad childhood" its horrible. Trust me, I am sure neither her nor her children suffer! Oh~ that your eyes would be open :(

    4. If you read the comment you would notice that she clearly states they live in poverty and sacrifice much. I would consider that going without. Trust me I love my children and am also raising them and caring for them. I also manage to go to my job at the hospital and love and care of other children who are fighting cancer. Don't be condescending, you have no clue what I do on a daily basis.

    5. @Alissa Klein, My husband and I are doing our best to follow and trust in God with every aspect of our lives and yes on paper the finances don't make sense and we did "sacrafice" a bigger home, second car, vacations, new clothes whenever we want, and eating out.

      We really don't miss those things and God has always provided everything we ever need and some wants as well. Relying on God instead of trying to figure it all out on our own does take far more faith but brings Him so much glory.

      There are plenty of fun things to do with the kids that are free or cheap. We are building memories that money can't buy. I know for our family that mommy being home is best for all of us. Besides, I worked in child-care, barely above minimum wage. I now have three small children so it would no longer be logical for me to work outside the home. My husband started as an insurance agent and will gradually take us out of poverty as his business grows. One can not only survive but thrive on one income with the right strategies.

  2. I think this comment is really off-base, actually. I'm a full-time working mom (four kids on earth, two in heaven). I wish I could afford to stay home with my kids, but due to poor financial decisions and other factors, it's not possible. (My husband works full-time as well. Up until last month, I was the only one with a college degree.)

    My kids currently attend daycare in a private home four blocks from our house and one block from my oldest daughter's school. It's run by a husband-and-wife team with four kids of their own. It's a safe, clean, beautiful environment. No matter what time of day I arrive, it's clean and cheerful. They have a backyard with artificial turf (in case any kids have allergies) and fun games, toys, and playground equipment. They only have two other children in addition to mine and theirs (plus, their oldest and my oldest attend the same school during the day), so they aren't stretched too thin. Plus, the wife has a degree in early childhood education and puts all the kids through an age-appropriate preschool curriculum. My kids love it there, and they always include "Mr. & Mrs. Smith" in their nightly prayers.

    Not all daycares are created equal. Some of us who have to work make sure we find a safe, loving environment for our children.

  3. I am a stay-at-home wife and mother and am exactly where I should be. I believe Moms need to stay home and parent their children from birth through when they leave the parents home.

    Having said that, in my days before marriage I worked in a day care as a provider. And this isn't at all what I experienced. Sure, we all have bad days (as does every mother) and snap a little too quickly at a child that just won't let something go. But, 99% of the time the kids were being treated with respect, love, concern, and care. They were listened to when they spoke and we made sure each child felt important and knew what their strengths and talents were. We spent a great deal of time with each child and with the children as a whole in a group situation (story time, lunch time, etc). We spent a lot of time outdoors in the fresh air, getting lots of exercise. We didn't sit on the sidelines as teachers. We got out there and played with the kids, participated with them, and let them lead while on the playground (with our supervision and guidance).

    Where I worked wasn't a Christian organization. It was a daycare that integrated children with special needs and children without special needs. Each child with special needs received all the appropriate therapies during their time in the daycare and most got it free (donations from private people and companies, not government grants or anything like that).

    As I said, I am not a fan of daycares. I think they do a lot of harm and parents need to either think twice about having so many children they can't afford to feed them or house them at all or, what I saw most, need to NOT get married on a whim and choose their mate wisely with God's counsel, stay married and suck it up, learning to love and respect your spouse, and quit wanting so much in life that you put your kids in a place with a bunch of people who are paid a small amount of money to do your job. Most kids would never need this type of care and, if the church stepped up and cared for widows and orphans, it wouldn't be needed at all. I just wanted to say, I have never seen a day care run in such a horrible way. I hope that employee quit and reported this abuse. It was her duty, and having the type of degree she says she has means she would know that information.

  4. Maybe Christian daycares are worse than the heathen ones.

    I have worked in several secular daycares and they were amazing with the children. But I have noticed that Christian daycares seem to have very low standards.

  5. I agree with JoAnna, not all child care facilities are created equal. My son is now in pre-school, but began in Mother's Day Out in the same facility. It is a church-run day care and pre-school program (they also have a k-12, which I attended and graduated from myself). I trust these women completely with my child. He loves going to school, he loves his teachers. When I am there they are happy and cheerful, and the kids learn a weekly Bible verse as well as the normal curriculum. They even teach the more advanced children higher-level curriculum if they are capable of it. The have strict policies concerning sanitation and cleanliness. each child is taught to clean up after themselves after each activity as a matter of their daily routine, and then the teacher double-checks their area and cleanses when necessary. How do I know what goes on when I am not there? I know because not only does my son love to tell me about his day, but the school has an open visitation policy for parents. Any parent is welcome to drop in at any point of the day completely unannounced and observe their child's class. They only ask that the parent try not to distract the children. The doors of each classroom are open at all times. I grew up in this school, many of the teachers were my teachers, I have known them all of my life and went to school with their own children. They love these kids, they get paid very little (all are required to hold degrees in early childhood education as well as teaching certification and to acquire continuing education credits each year) and they hold as their goal to teach G-d's word above all else. I began teaching in the Middle School this year, and I am near my son during the day and able to see him. My son is getting an excellent academic and Biblical education. My own students, who are products of this same system, are kind, considerate, cooperative and pray for and care about each other.
    I have no doubt that the places written about above do indeed exist and are a terrible thing, but not every place is like that!

  6. Wow! Scary!

    I know this post is about daycare, but I just wanted to add this about public school (another place where people are paid to babysit ones children):

    When my oldest daughter attended public school in her first year (she was 4) the teacher was known by the P.T.A to yell at the kids, jab them with her finger and shame them in front of the whole class...but they couldn't sack/fire her because they couldn't get a replacement. This was "good" school! One of my s-i-l's is a primary public school teacher and she is one of the crankiest women I know and she has very little patience with children, plus she has NONE of her own!

    Great post, thanks for sharing...though you do know that everyone else who comments in disagreement, will say that THEIR "childs daycare is DIFFERENT and that in actual fact it has been rated as one of the best in the ...blah...blah...blah"!

  7. You made this all up didn't you??
    The environment in which your children grow up is healthy?
    Your house doesn't seem very clean according to the pictures.
    7 children sentenced to each other 24/7 crammed in a tiny house, your kicking and screaming husband in church in the presence of very young childeren, the religious mania, the hatred, take it from a professional, a very fertile ground for severe psychological damage.

    1. Yes. I totally agree I would much rather my child(if I had one) to be in a daycare than a dirty, over full home, hearing gloom and doom, damnation and hellfire. Yes, some daycares are scary, but so are some homes.

    2. A professional? Latraviata aren't you the one whose hobby it is to stalk the Andersons and spew hatred about them at that internet dung heap?

    3. Latraviata,
      You are a professional Anderson stalker and that's about it.

  8. My children attended a Catholic daycare/preschool. It was clean, not any noisier than one would expect with so many small children, and the workers loved the kids. Because of the irregular hours of my job, my kids were generally the last to get there in the morning and the first to leave in the afternoon, and the staff did not usually know exactly when I would be coming in. Additionally, when each child was under one year old, I would drive to the daycare over my lunch break to nurse my baby, sitting in the baby room for 20 - 30 minutes while doing this. I never saw anything amiss. My children are now teenagers and I could not be prouder of the loving and respectful young people they are growing up to be.

  9. So sad. I worked in daycares. It was called nannycare. I was on call daily. I would go to a different daycare each day. I went to expensive ones that are supposively the best ones and I also went to filthy ones. It is the worst job. Not only is it sad, it is frustrating. It is impossible not to get frustrated when 50 kids are crammed into a small facility and only 3 people there. It does wear on the nerves. I could cry just rememebering these sad, poorly cared for children. These day care workers do NOT love them. They put on a good face.

    My sister worked at the most expensive daycare in our city. A girl(worker) kicked a 3 year old little boy, because she got so annoyed at him. The manager gave her a warning. The daycare workers were told in their meetings, that if the parents asked if their kids cried for them, they were to say no. They were trained to tell the parents that the kid was happy when they left, and the rest of the time.

    I will share one horrifying experience I had at a daycare. I was rocking a newborn (6 weeks old) and she began convulsing in my arms. I cried for help. Another worker grabbed her. We called her mother, and the mother told us that she was fine and to call, if it happened again. Again, I held this beautiful little baby and rocked her. She began seizing again. We called the mother and she was irritated and told us, "this has happened before and she is fine." Finally, we got the father to come get her. Meanwhile all the focus was on this one baby and all the other babies were in their "cages" crying.......yes, cages on the wall. There were two of us in the "infant room" and that means if 6 babies were crying......they cried in their cages, rather screamed. Not to mention how filthy it feels in those dirty places.

    I could go on, but I have no time. I hope someone listens. Daycare is the the saddest thing in the world! Those poor children.

    I can say it with boldness, because I have been to many. I worked there for awhile and there was not one that was acceptable. They don't exist. No one loves your child like you do. Most of the workers hate children, to be honest.

    Hope someone hears.

  10. There is a lady who works in our church nursery whose full time job is working at a daycare. She seems to be genuinely caring of the children, but she has told me horror stories of things she has seen at the daycare. For example, the worst was when a male staff member was hired and then he was caught molesting little girls. Also, there are a couple kids at our church that attend daycare and they are the worst behaved children and completely out of control already.. At less than 2 years old. I am seriously reminded every time I go into the nursery to feed my baby, why I would NEVER put my kids in daycare.

  11. Latraviata,

    Well, you have not changed a bit.

    Your quote, "take it from a professional"

    So, professionals believe a bunch of children in their own home(even if it is small to your standard) is a bad thing, but throwing them in a daycare is the solution? So a child's own loving home is inferior to daycare........ where they are surrounded by total strangers, who do not deeply love them?

    If you are a professional at this, then I will take the "amatures" way any day!!!! If that is what we are... because we have not been educated into the weird, unhealthy psychologoical garbage you spew out.

    It does not matter if a family has a small home or a stinkin' mansion, Latraviata. The point is, if they are home with their parents. ........there is no place better for them to be. Every child deserves to be under the wing of their parents. Zsuzsa's children are certainly blessed and I have seen them thriving. I have seen their home, which is not messy (oh heaven forbid a few toys on the floor)nor filled with hate in any form, nor filled with a maniac, screaming, religious man, that kicks people!

    You need to stop trying to educate Zsuzsa, start letting her educate YOU!

    1. Honestly, I don't expact you to understand my comment, but I was comparing this particular situation with the negative way daycare has been described.
      You listen to the mr anderson's sermons right? He screems a lot and at a certain point he started kicking his lectern, because apparantly someone didn't follow instructions during 'soul winning'. That, is very frightening for children. There is a lot of hatred in that household, gays, public schools, daycare etc. Hatred has even being biblically justified, didn't you read that? You really think I need to be educated by people like mrs anderson, about what? Her cooking? Just a piquant detail, my children never went to daycare nor public schools. We had a very sweet grandmother and we could affort a private school.

    2. I guess I just don't get why you even read here. Why you even care? You believe what you believe, and that will never change.

      Pastor Anderson and Zsuzsa are very warm, sweet, people with high standards. He raises his voice with passion, not hatred. He raises his voice to warn others about sin, and how it DESTROYS lives. He is funny, sweet and loves his family. Same with Zsuzsa. Their children are thriving in every way.

      Children raised at home, whether religious or not, are far better off. Daycare is not a healthy way to raise children. You ought to know that.

    3. Jessica,
      I used to read your blog and enjoy it, do you not blog anymore? I enjoy reading about larger families, the Lord blessed me with only 3 children, and at 40 I'm not likely to have more although our hearts are open to the prospect!

    4. And we NEVER put our children in daycare. I didn't want to be told he took his first steps today etc... I wanted to be the one to see all of that!

    5. Hi Robyn,

      I have a private blog for now. I rarely even post. I sort of lost interest, and was surprised I did. I enjoy it every now and then. Praise the Lord for your three children. How fun! I have 6, and feel very blessed. Thank you for checking in on me. I really need to think more about opening public again!


  12. I worked a job in childcare & I never saw any of this. My job may have been an exception to the general rule, but it does show that some good daycares do exist. I definitely loved the kids I worked with, as did the majority of the other ladies I worked with. And the environment was always very clean. Please do not judge based on only a few cases of evidence. You tend to jump to conclusions quickly, but please try to see the whole picture. Christ calls us to be compassionate and nonjudgemental. Jessa

  13. I really dislike it when all of something is painted with the same brush. Not all daycares are bad, not all daycares are good. My son started daycare at 17 months old. My husband was in school (to get a better job so I could stay home) and I worked full-time to support our family while he went to school. Did I want my son in daycare, nope, but I didn't have a choice. Of the four daycare facilities we looked at I left 3 of them in tears, they were awful. The last one, also the most expensive at $104 dollars a week in 1994, was simply wonderful. It was clean without smelling of cleaning products, they had cribs for the babies not just mats on the floor. They didn't take children under a year old, so my son was one of two children under the age of 2 in the entire facility and they had a cat, which for some reason I really liked. My son attended that daycare for 5 years and while there were a few instances that I was not pleased with, overall it was a good experience for him. Because he was an only child during those 5 years he enjoyed the company of the other children and made some life long friends, two of the boys he still hangs out with at the age of 20. When he first started that daycare, he and another little boy took their naps in the same crib. They teacher would put them down for a nap in separate cribs, go back and check on them 10 minutes later and they would be sound asleep in the same crib, one of them having crawled into the others bed. Because my job was flexible I often left work and just showed up unannounced. There were times my son was mad that I got there because they were just going outside to play and he didn't want to leave just yet. There were also days when he was very young when he would scream and cry when I left. The bottom line is that we don't always have a choice of whether our kids attend daycare. It was the best thing for us in the long run, but it wasn't always easy. My husband graduated college and I have been home for the last 14 years. My daughter never had to attend daycare for which I am grateful.

  14. Before we had kids, I tried to get a job at a daycare, and I drove around dropping off my resume at local valley daycares. Some that I visited were neat, clean, and cheerful (I'm still against institutional daycare, but they looked like nice places, all things considered). However, one I will never forget. The smell hit me when I walked in the door - it smelled like a cat box that hadn't been cleaned in ages, and the workers were yelling at a bunch of out-of-control kids who were all over the place. It was rather horrifying!

    And yes, it's also true that you don't know what's going on when you aren't there. We had one nasty experience with a church daycare in that vein - we arrived quietly when the nursery worker's back was to us, and found her shouting at our sobbing 12-month-old to be quiet. When she realized we were there, she jumped and then started smiling and talking sweetly about how cute our son was. Mmm hmm.

    If any sort of day care was absolutely unavoidable, I would choose a trusted in-home provider rather than institutional or stranger-care. But it's always best to be home with mama!

  15. The non-Christian child care centres I have experienced are the opposite of what has been described. Perhaps the issue is not with child care in general but who is running it?

  16. It's made up. Minimum wage in FL is $7.67 right now. It won't be $7.79 until Jan 1, 2013.

  17. everyone has their own stories and opinions and like anything, one bad apple doesn't make a bad bunch. I worked for years in day care and then as a teacher both in private christian school and public.
    I have seen good and horrible. The day cares I worked in were very good, low teacher turnover, low child to teacher ratio. Lots of interactive, outdoor play. We had a FT ped OT that was amazin. The last one actually had cameras in every room so parents could log on at anytime with a password to see what was happening with their child.
    My worst experience was the baptist christian school where I taught 2nd grade. Physical abuse was rampant in the "name of the Lord". Their educational standards were low as every subject had to be taught with a religious lesson mixed in, which took away from learning the actual subjects. Children if they misbehaved even with something minor were subject to spanking or a slap on the hand with a stick called the reminder. Needless to say I resigned there after 2 months, I made sure the parents knew exactly what was going on and alerted authorities.
    The public school I teach in now is wonderful. Small class size (I teach 3rd grade and have 16 kids), lots of opportunities for alternative learning, spanish, german, and french offered beginning in 1st grade, piano and strings beginning in kindergarten. Wonderful art program, they have a joint partnership with local nursing home in which residents come and read to children and do art projects and children go visit the residents. Parents are heavily involved. On nice days we spend alot of time outside doing our learning and assignments. We have FT OT and PT and speech therapists, so those children with special needs can get the help and care they need while also attending regular classes with their peers. Children learn to interact and get along with children of all different cultures, backgrounds, and abilities. They learn teamwork and respect. We work on a great deal of community projects and helping others less fortunate. This to me is the real world and my students are getting a great education both academically and socially.
    Bottom line is to each his own, I think homeschooling can be wonderful if done correctly as you seem to be (and I love alot of your ideas for learning activities), but I have also seen the downside of homeschooling done poorly. Not everyone fits into one mold and saying all day care, all public school is evil is just wrong. I would never say all homeschoolers or fundamentalists are sick and evil. My nieces were in day care, my brother in law died when they were little and my sister in law had to go back to work, they are the most well behaved children ever, they are the sweetest girls and frankly are never sick. Again, there are so many stereotypes that floated around this thread it truly amazes me. Day care is not the sole creator of children's bad behavior, I know many children from daycare who are well behaved, kind and polite. To me there is no right or wrong answer only what works best for your family and your children and I would never put anyone down for choosing one over the other. IN a perfect world there would be 2 parents and moms could stay home, but that is not the world we live in, parents die, men leave, some women have no choice but to work and if they did stay home and on government help I get the feeling many of you would trash them for that. Jen

  18. I just cannot understand why a mom would not want to be with her children during the day (yes, even on those real tough days.) Perhaps it is because we have very few 'teachers of good things' showing moms how to love their children? Perhaps there are very few tender hearted young moms that are willing to learn as well? Wouldn't it be a shocker if we actually heard pastors preaching on being a 'keeper at home'. The ball has been dropped in this department by way too many. People are reaping what they sow by farming their precious little ones out. You would have to shackle me to take my children to one of these 'day uncares' for even a minute (let alone even a church nursery.) Thanks Zsuzsanna for your obedience and example.

    1. I can't speak for every mother who uses daycare/ preschool but as far as myself and my friends and family we work to provide better lives and better opportunities for our children. I love spending time with my children my working has NOTHING to do with not wanting to be with them. I often stop in and eat lunch with them on my break or read stories and play. The daycare preschool they go to is one of the top centers in my state. My four year old reads on a first grade level. My children will grow up to be well educated, successful adults, they will never go with out or want for anything. Can you say the same about your children?

    2. People don't put their kid in daycare because they don't like their kids. Kids go to daycare because Mom needs to get out of the house and help put food on the table. I've never understood how working moms are considered "less" mothers because they're actively supporting their family and keeping a roof over their heads, as opposed to being home playing pattycake or whatever. Keeping a family povery-stricken is irresponsible and bad parenting. For those who can afford it and want it...having Mom home is fantastic. Otherwise, I don't see a place to cast judgment.

    3. I was referring to the moms who don't want to be with their children through the day, yes. I guess more specifically I should say Christian moms. I do know that there are times that mom want to be with the children but ends up working. I just listened to a great sermon last week called 'The Right Priorities First'. The pastor did mention that there are undesirable situations due to their or someone elses sin which can lead to a mom working outside of the home. This is also my belief not because it is my opinion but because I believe it is what the bible says. However, this is also a heart issue. Mom can be home and her heart is really not there, mom can be working and her hearts desire is to be at home.

      In response to the first reply, 'being well educated, successful adults, with out or want for anything' is not my goal for my children. For example, my husband and I are both professionals and could fit that mold by worldly standards. Particularly my husband, he is very successful in the business world holding the title Dr. (although that means very little to him.) In part it is his wise character, teachability and work ethic that aid him along. We could both be driven to be out raking in the dough to provide an even 'better life'. We have within our means but by choice have downgraded a lot of the 'better life things' to have a simpler life to have more time for spiritually minded things. We still live very comfortabely while he works outside of the home and I guide the home by staying home. I also have friends that whether by choice or circumstance homemake with very little money and have amazing lives based on obedience and will reap the fruit of it in one form or another. As far as education, I do my best to advance my children's learning capabilities through education and even a good diet for the brain but it has a final limiting reagent. It is based on the brain the that Lord has given them. That is what you and I have to work with so we can take very little credit for their 'smarts' after all. Another mom and child can work harder than you and get less results based on the God given brain. As far as my children are concerned it is better they be wise than knowledgeable. Seriously, how can someone claim that their child will be successful or without want for anything? In answer to your question, I absolutely will never claim that for my children by worldly standards, no one can. People get sick, loose jobs, and face trials of all sorts... However, if my child is saved I can say even through their trials and tribulations that they are eternally successful and not lacking and this is only through the Lord Jesus. Christ.

    4. So Crystal....from your perch as a doctor's wife, you're sitting in lofty judgment of the women who are putting food on their tables as a result of some unnamed "sin". Uh huh. Puts your posts in perspective,certainly.

    5. In response to Anonymous,

      I tried my best to make a judgement call based on the bible which is fine to do if I am obeying that judgement call also. People make judgements all the time, you made one of me too in your reply. Your comment seems socialistic about me being lofty because my husband has a doctorate. That makes me no less of a contribution to the discussion. When someones husband provides good honest employment to help put bread on others tables that is a thing to be thankful for. Would we all be happy to be on the same playing field? History would prove not. You seem upset with both poverty and doing well by your comments. I said that we choose to not drive as hard to make the dollar and can still live very comfortably with less money because we are happy spiritually. Anyhow, you or I don't get to take it with us when we die. I originally said 'I just cannot understand why a mom would not want to be with her children during the day.' Yes, there are moms who do not like to be around their kids so they put them in day cares, I don't think that is good (I know moms who admit to this.) Anyhow, I feel for that mom who wants to be home with her babes but has to be out working to put food on the table. If this is your situation I hope that you are making the best of it and still get time to enjoy your precious one(s).

    6. This is the first anonymous, I don't know why it didn't put my name the first time. I am a Christian mother and I am a nurse practitioner at a children's hospital. I don't see why the two have to be mutually exclusive. I love my children with all my heart. I work with children who have cancer and have also list a child to it myself, I know how precious children are. I will admit that I don't have to work, I work because I love my job. I hope you never have to watch your child go through the suffering my daughter and these kids have, but if you did it may change your view on some working moms.

    7. Dear Alissa,

      Thanks for your openess to share your situation. I'm sure that there have been many children and families that you have been a blessing to (including your own.) I have not had a child with cancer, I could not even imagine. I hope that all goes well for you and your child.

  19. As a child I went to kindergarten in Germany, and I loved it. My mother never played with me and my brother and kindergarten was in contrast so exciting with all the toys and other children to play with. Also the kindergarten teachers were very creative and did a lot of singing, dancing and crafts with us. I remember it was a great time full of fun and sunshine and play. We usually stayed there from 8 - 12 am, Monday to Friday. Is it possible that kindergarten in the US is very different from the german institution?? The child care workers here also have at least 3 years of training. When I was 19 I did a short time internship in the same kindergarten that I went to as a child and it was still great. I played with the children, I read them storys from childrens books, and I had a great time doing that. The children were also taught how to make a healthy salad and there were no sweets allowed at all. Therefore I am not sure I understand what the problem is in US daycares. Are they overcrowded perhaps? In Germany we have strict rules concerning the design of the building, the space and number of children. Therefore you rarely here complaints from anyone about daycares.

  20. I have told this story before on your blog but since this has come up again I will share it again. Years ago I was a foster parent and worked full time. I had a baby placed with me that was in daycare and because I didn't have to be to work until 10:00 I was one of the last parents to drop off my baby. There was a beautiful infant girl that was about 6 wks old and every morning when I came in she was screaming her head off sitting in a swing or bouncy seat. It was all I could do to not go pick her up so finally one day I said "does she cry like that all the time?" The worker chuckled and said "she's new here, she'll get used to it." I said "does her mom know she cries like this?" And again they shrugged it off and said she was fine and she'd get used to it. Translation: she'll get used to being ignored and abandoned and she'll get used to the fact that no one is going to come pick her up until the scheduled diaper change or feeding. If they told the parent the baby screamed half the day would she take her out of the daycare? I agree with Jessica, the workers aren't going to tell a parent "your child cries for you most of the day and wonders where you are." We are raising a generation of children that feel abandoned and emotionally neglected, the cost to society is something we can't fathom.

  21. I have been around excellent childcares for many years and was pleasantly surprised to find it so. I'd been told that the "poor" children who couldn't be home all day were neglected by their parents and the workers. This could not be farther from the truth. The difference is a "calling". There are many women and in rare cases, men, who involve themselves in early childhood education because they understand the most important time in a child's life to learn is the first 0-5 years of life.
    First, you must PLAN to TEACH, not babysit. You must follow a learning schedule and meet goals that the director and teachers at the childcare have set, teaching the children age appropriate learning in all areas of life values, play, academics and the list goes on. A good curriculum can be found if the director and teachers feel they are not qualified to write their own. Teaching children is one of the most important things in the world and it makes my blood boil to hear of the above situation. Those adult women who were Christians had a golden opportunity to teach precious, never-dying souls and instead they chose to be bullies to children! Shame on the bunch of them.
    The director and the workers in the above daycare (it's not a childcare center) should be hotlined and let the pieces fall where they may. You can't paint everyone with the same brush. Saying that one daycare place in always like every single other one in the world is ludicrous. And confusing babysitting services from people who can't find any other job is completely different from called people who put their heart and soul into teaching precious children who for whatever reason don't have the opportunity to be home with mom. I have always been so grateful for those blessed people who love children enough to be paid much less they are worth to use their God given talents to reach as many children as they can for good and God. Why would you as Christians, not want as many children as possible influenced for good, whether they learn it at home or from dedicated, wonderful people who love children.
    Zsuzsu, I've read your blog for a long time and can tell you love your life and the fact that your children are with you 24,/7. I say "more power to you" and other people who believe the way you do. But all people don't live in your circumstances - there are single parent families all over this country and those parents must put their children in child care to work. Should those children not be lovingly taught, too? Are your children the only ones that deserve that? I think God wants all children to be nurtured and loved. Doesn't happen, but it doesn't mean that God doesn't want that.
    We are soon to become guardians to a little girl that but for the grace of God would be dead by now because of her parent's crazy lives. I'm so glad loving teachers helped her learn and grow in every way because that is the only "family" she had to help her the first 4 years of her life.
    Okay, off my soap box.

  22. I always get irritated when I see absolute statements about things that are by no means absolute. I commented earlier about the church-run preschool and k-12 my son attends. I'm disgusted by the stories of church-run facilities in this thread that were so horrible to children, for the sake of those children as well as for the sake of the people who now believe all places are like that. As I mentioned, I attended the school where I have my son, and I now teach there. No place is absolutely perfect, home or school, but why must people be so hateful about parents who choose a loving and Christ-centered academic environment for their children instead of home? I was raised as a Messianic Jew (a Jewish person who believes in Jesus Christ as the Messiah). My parents were both out of my life early, my father remarried and forgot about us and my mother, though she loved us, battles severe alcoholism and when I was eight and my sister was nine, we were removed from her by the state. We were given to our grandparents. Our home life was unpleasant, and beyond that neither one of my grandparents was educated. In our congregation I was the only one who was not home-schooled, and I am so grateful for that!! Of my friends, two (sisters) were given diplomas because their mother, with 5 children and a missionary schedule, just didn't have time to finish their curriculum . . . They each received a 7th grade education. Raised in a believing home with missionary parents and homeschool, one rejected the Messiah and now lives as a religious Jew in Israel, the other has become an animist who worships at a Buddhist temple. Only one of my homeschooled friends attained a college education, and she did it splendidly (just graduated law school), and it is because from the age of about 12 she took control of her own curriculum.
    When I was growing up my school kept me sane. I had social issues, few friends, and a bad attitude because of all of the anger I felt at my parents and grandparents. However, my teachers loved me . . . They asked me about how I was doing and they listened, they taught me where the answers to my problems were in the Bible. I found an outlet i. The drama program and my emotional climate improved. i made a best friend in Band, who remains my best friend to this day, 15 years later. My school had, and continues to have, strong academic curriculum and their test scores on average show students from first grade through 12 as two years more advanced than our public school counterparts. The Bible is the guidebook for the teachers, my own middle school students all get along with each other, volunteer to pray before class, cooperate easily with their teachers, friends, and sports teams. Of COURSE I want my son There!!! I have a degree in History with a minor in theatre . . . It took me two and a half years to pass the required math credit to graduate from the university (this with tutors, help lab, and expensive supplementary materials. I have a VERY difficult time with mathematics, though I never gave up). How am I supposed to teach my son advanced mathematics? He is an only child, how is he supposed to learn to make friends and interact with others isolated in our home? What about sports? Arts? Music? Adequate preparation for college so that he can one day support a family with some sense of security? My school shaped my life and have me my spiritual foundation, it saved me in ways I cannot even describe, and I'm supposed to deny my son that same blessing? I am not anti-homeschool, but it is not what I want for my son, in our family, BECAUSE I love him. I stayed home with him until he was old enough for the program, and we remain incredibly close . . . His hours at school haven't changed that and he loves going to school each morning. Anyone who assumes that parents who don't homeschool have a lesser love for their children is deeply wrong.

  23. My friend's niece works as a daycare attendant and was instrumental in getting two children away from abusive parents. She and another worker noticed that the kids kept showing up with suspicious injuries and once they were sure, they alerted CPS. In that case, it was absolutely great to send those kids to daycare because someone else could see what was going on. It's a rare case to be sure, but it shows that there are plenty of caring, responsible people who care for other people's children. Better that we have these resources in place than just allowing children to flounder if their parents have to work or can't look after them during the day for some other reason.

    Another question - what do you think of having a nanny or other type of full-time babysitter if the family can afford it? It's how I was cared for as a little kid (I had immune issues and couldn't go to day care), and the babysitter was kind and lovely and is still a very treasured family friend even though I'm an adult now. On the other side, I also worked as a summer babysitter for this one family for several years and still have a great friendship with the kids - and when the parents unfortunately divorced (the dad basically walked out on them), I hope I was a supportive and stable presence in their lives. Having a supportive adult around who is not a parent can be very beneficial, for sure! You are very lucky to be able to stay home with your children and to have two devoted parents for your children, but when families don't have that ideal situation, sometimes support from somewhere else is really helpful.

  24. Hi. This is the author of the comment.

    I would first of all like to thank you, Zsuzsanna for posting my comment and by doing so allowing me to do the little I can to speak for those who cannot and report what I've experienced. And I gave a very honest description of this form of child abuse. Also, I apologize for misspelling your name and the min. wage error(7.67, not 7.79). I must have been exhausted after a long day of alternating between taking care of 13 one-year-olds all at once and 14 two-year-olds all at once.

    I would like to say that I am not fooled for even a split second by those who are painting a bright, joyful picture of what is an exceedingly great darkness in our society that has been brought on by a multitude of sins such as covetousness, slothfulness and selfishness.

    I have simply seen too much. I've seen the sweetest and most humble of saints succumb to screaming rage. But center directors tell the staff how to behave in front of parents. At a very affluent center I worked in during college, the (sweet and smart looking) director's biggest joke was, "I'm going to punt that baby in the dumpster." The truth is even one crying baby is enough to get on anyone's nerves.. especially if they are not your own.

    And a center may appear clean (as ours does), but any medical professional (and a little common sense) will tell you that is not even possible at most daycare centers.

    See, the fact is that children, especially ages 1-4 require constant supervision. So when you have many of them all at once at that age, it sets up a situation for disaster. And the kids learn the bad kids behavior, such as sexual behaviors and violent behavior, etc., which are all common. It's simply not a good situation for kids, who need to be raised in a home environment- and is certainly FAR from God's plan for raising children. I assure you.

    May God bless you, Zsuzsanna and thank you again!

    In closing:
    "Woe unto them that call evil good, and good evil; that put darkness for light, and light for darkness; that put bitter for sweet, and sweet for bitter!" - Isaiah 5:20

    1. This is Anonymous @ 4:30 PM

      If you are taking care of 12 to 14 children at a time under 2 by yourself than your daycare is in violation and should be reported. I have no idea how you can continue to do this job knowing that you are not providing the best care possible for these children. The legal limit is 4 to 5 children per worker.

      As far as cleanliness, your home is not as clean as you think it is either, unless you walk around with bleach and Lysol all day and scrub every surface on a continual basis. There is a difference between dirty diapers laying around and the fact that the carpets are vacuumed and the floors mopped every night. It has also been proven that germs are good for kids, builds up their immune system.

      Finally, why would all these parents who have had positive experiences lie?

    2. They would lie to themselves as much as to everyone else. Who wants to admit they are not doing the best for their child, rather they are participating in institutionalized abuse?

      I know nothing about daycare, none of my 6 have ever been in one, nor have I ever toured one. It was simply not an option we ever considered. My husband and I were both committed to me staying home, even though I have an MS in Computer Science and had a very high-paying job until my 1st was born. I wonder, why would anyone do for money what you won't do for love?

      in His peace,

    3. the two large church daycares i worked in after college were clean and the staff seemed very loving to me. the limit was six children in a class. i wouldnt choose this as a way to raise children. mothers day out programs or preschool may be ok, but i wouldnt want this everyday, and i may even see greater value to doing things at home!! but, my experiences were not like the authors.

    4. Clearly, if this situation is true, you should be reporting the illegal practices of the day care that you work at to the relevant authorities. If you do not then you are complicit in the crimes taking place at this institution. I have worked in child care for 8 years and I have and never would work for an institution with such terrible standards or remain silent while children were being so obviously mistreated. I can only assume you are lying or that you feel that your job is more important than the lives of these children.

    5. If this is true that you are caring for that many children alone, you need to stand up for those kids and report that situation as it's illegal to take care of that many children. Your center is in violation of the laws set up for daycares and you could remedy that. You have the power to make that change. You have the power to make it so those kids have proper care. You speak out about how bad it is, what will you do with that information? Ignore it or act upon it?

      I am sure there are bad daycares. You obviously work in a horrible one. I am sorry for those kids and pray you will do the right thing. I know there are worse daycares than what you work in as well. But to declare you don't believe those of us who have worked in quality daycares is ridiculous. Should those of us who worked in good daycares declare your account false? Why not? Based on our experience we haven't seen it. No, we should help you realize you are in a bad situation and, for the protection of those kids, you should report the daycare. But please do not poo-poo those of us who have different experiences with daycare settings we have worked in personally.

      I gave my first hand account as a woman that, now as a mother, thinks a mom should stay home with her children and clearly stated that. Just because I had a good work environment that loved, cared for, and respected children doesn't mean I think that's a better situation than at home with a Mom caring for all their needs.

  25. As much as I wanted to, I refrained from reading the comments...although I did so on the original post. The comments lead to another area we are divided as Americans...and in a larger scale as humans. You see, in the original posting I noted one giving inaccurate data about history and care of children. I also noted so many upset with the wording of daycare and being a sin.

    I started looking around the internet for articles and such to remove the Christian view of sin...which by the way is unchangeable, well the way God defines sin. This troubles many non Christians and Christians alike to point, to suggest, or to come out and say that something that they are doing may be sinful.

    Anyhow...I read an incredible article-it is very long, but if I was using day care or was planning on doing so in the future, I would read it. Please keep in mind that the article has tons of supportive data. To be clear, I have not read anything else on the site, but in the case of childcare-wow.

    I am thankful that you opened the ball on this even if it has caused some to be angry or challenge your wording, as I totally think if we have any longevity of time on earth-that we will view this era of time as the time we thought children were nothing but accessories-as we abort the unwanted ones to such shocking numbers that nearly 4,500 babies die EACH DAY. Then we have the other end of the spectrum where we have one or two children and shower them-well we play dress up with them and give them EVERYTHING...but send them to be raised by another following birth and connect with them after they are in college(if we are fortunate), as they are in child care, preschool, school, sports, camps, then college.

    It is time to reassess everything...


  26. There are good and bad day cares out there. I've worked in some of the best, and I've worked in some of the worst. Doesn't matter if it's Christian or not, or if it's expensive or not. Just like each mother needs to sit down and research if it is a good idea for her to work outside the home, she also needs to research the care that will be provided for her children if she makes that choice...

    The sad thing is, the one thing that is identical in all day cares regardless of religious/financial stuff, is the over abundance of parents who drop their kids off from 6 am to 6pm 5 days a week, and don't understand why their children wont listen to them, respect them or obey them. Doesn't matter how awesome or crappy the day care is. If you only see your kid 2 hours a day, your in for a lot of issues down the line.

  27. I worked at a daycare before I had kids. It was a daycare that was part of a church school (grades K-8) and affiliated with the church I grew up in. It was nothing like the daycare described here, and I am appalled to think that such a horrible, low-quality daycare would stay in business. In fact, a few years later after having my firstborn (and working a different job), I put my own daughter in the same daycare I had worked at before, because I trusted it. I was paid minimum wage when I started, but I received pay raises from 6 months onward, until I resigned. There was a "head teacher" in every class and an assistant. Head teachers had more experience, and were always paid more than the assistants (I was an assistant). Everyone received pay raises - and I knew of no one who was only paid minimum wage. The director and assistant director were paid a salary.

    We LOVED the kids who attended here. None of the kids were ever mistreated or handled aggressively. We had a positive discipline system in place that worked well. If a teacher had been rough with a child, she would have been in big trouble with the director. Here is an incident that I remember well: One time, I was having a little trouble with some kids not wanting to nap (naptime is a state law in daycare). I made a "sad face" on the chalkboard and wrote names of the kids who were giving me trouble. My director saw that and put an end to it immediately! She explained to me how negative that was, and detrimental to a child's self-esteem, to see his/her name on the chalkboard underneath a sad face. So she had me erase the sad face and draw a happy face, and look for kids who were being quiet or napping. That worked like a charm! Everyone wanted their name on the "happy face board."

    Some kids were real handfuls - but we learned ways to direct their behavior. The ones who were "hyper" were given extra jobs (which they loved - 3 year olds always love to be teachers' helpers!) to keep them busy and out of trouble. In the worst cases, a child might be sent to the director's office to "cool off" where they would have to sit in a chair and be very bored for a while. We teachers had FUN with the kids, and I think one reason we didn't have a lot of discipline problems is because we planned so many fun things and the kids enjoyed coming. We had many parents say their kids "couldn't wait" to come to "school" in the mornings.

    My mom became the director of this daycare a few years after I resigned. She absolutely loved the kids, got to know each one, and had close, long-time friendships with many of the parents. She had older kids coming to visit her long after they had "graduated" from pre-K because they loved her so much.

    And the cleanliness? We had state guidelines to follow! The school was very clean. We had to wash all toys with a bleach-water solution after playtimes, the floors were swept several times a day, the bathrooms had to be constantly wiped down - and everything was cleaned by the janitor each night after closing.

    Teachers and their assistants sat down together and made lesson plans every month and turned them into the director for approval. We were given a curriculum to guide us, but we got to plan exactly how we would execute the lessons and which activities we wanted to do. Being a teacher at a daycare IS a very stressful job and definitely not something for someone with low energy levels. But it was also fun and very fulfilling.

  28. i worked in two church daycares after college. they were both clean and the staff seemed very nice and loving at both. i however think children need to be with their parents in a home environment, and not in an institutional setting!! the long hours mentioned above were what i saw. some may wait until children are older, but some dropped their little babies off all week, and i just cant understand that at all. i do think i viewed it has just a job most times, so i dont think i was as loving as i should have been. i think as a parent or teacher or care provider, you should be doing it out of much love. also in toddler classes i had to change six diapers in a row. thats not fun. i cant say it was horrible as far as staff and cleanliness, like i mentioned, but id hate to be in or send a child to any setting like that for long hours, five days a week, to be cared for by others. just seemed wrong to me. they were taught things, had nice playgrounds outside and had time out there. they had blocks, books, toys, videos. music too. snacks were served. hot food was served too. i guess they could bring their own lunch, i just cant remember. i just think we are all better off at home when we can be there.......:)

  29. The author of that comment has admitted to being emotionally and verbally abusive to little children. She and the other "Christian ladies" at that daycare center have no right to claim "Christianity" because the way they are acting is not Christ-like at all.

    "But Jesus said suffer little children, and forbid them not to come unto me: for such is the kingdom of Heaven"

    I am a stay at home mother, and stuff like this is just one more reason for me NOT to put my children in daycare. But you know what? Those people who HAVE to use daycare should not have to worry about "Christian" woman mistreating their precious children.

    To the author of that comment:

    What is wrong with YOU??? What kind of person says they want to murder a child? What kind of person manhandles, yells at, and mistreats someone else's child??

    The problem is not in the people who have to use daycares, it's people like YOU who are trying to make excuses for your misbehavior and bad attitude.

  30. PART ONE
    After reading the most recent comments, I feel compelled to say a couple of things, perhaps to help others correct their assumptions.
    First, the assumption of "long hours" ; Mother's Day Out is a few hours a day, two days a week. Long enough for me to walk my laundry across the street to the laundry mat (which is nearly impossible to do carrying a basket of clothing and keeping my small child safe) use the stronger cleaning products, and giving him enough time to play with other children and begin to develop social skills.
    My son is currently in preschool, HALF DAY. This means that he is at school for three hours in the mornings, Total. I had the option of enrolling him for the full-day, but I chose not to because I want him with me in the afternoons. He even attends rehearsals with me (I teach drama in the same school).
    Secondly, the assumption that parents who use preschool/child care are selfish, lazy, et cetera. I have no doubt that many are, but it is ridiculous to assume that everyone follows that pattern. If I were selfish, I would not be willing to pay the fee for school. I would not pass up the opportunity for more income in favor of having more time with my son. I would not place his education above what is easier, less expensive, and less stressful for me. If I were lazy, why get up so early in the morning to get him to school, volunteer as a room parent, make the drive several times a day, or spend the three hours he is away cleaning my home and running necessary errands (my husband works 60-70 hours a week to provide for our family)?
    Thirdly, that having your child in school equates to passing them off for others to raise. A school is meant to educate, encourage, and support children. It is NOT the school's job to raise them. I chose a Christian school that I am completely comfortable with and which I know very well. The curriculum is Christ-centered, the teachers well-educated and qualified, the academic standards high. I raise my son, I teach him manners, morals, and about G-d and the Bible, and the school re-enforces these things (which is hardly "raising"). 2-3 hours with parents a day? How? Even when my son is in kindergarten, he will be finished by 2:40 PM. After school we typically go to the park for a nature walk, the playground, the zoo, visit Daddy at work, or (in season) sea world. Twice a week we head back to the school in the afternoon for my class. We talk about his day, we learn about wildlife, the environment, even traffic laws while we are driving! How is that NOT education from "home"? How is that not time spent together, learning and loving? How does school interfere with this?

  31. PART TWO
    I don't understand some of you, especially the person who said, in essence, that anyone with a positive experience is either lying or trying to justify their own guilt. Why would I lie? None of you know me, I have not mentioned the name of the school/church, so I am obviously not "plugging" them (though if Szuszannah is curious I would be fine with sharing that information in a private comment) and I thought the point of posting comments was to present various points of view. I'm not accusing the home-schoolers of lying or covering up their guilt, though if I were following that path I would certainly feel guilty for everything I would be depriving my son of (based on my first-hand observations of my multiple homeschooled friends, none of which homeschool themselves). What on earth do I have to feel shame over? My intelligent, happy, caring son?
    For those of you who homeschool . . . I have no doubt you love your children and are doing what you believe is in their best interests because of the great love and devotion you have for them.
    For those of you who place your children in school/child care . . .I have no doubt that you love your children and that for many of you, there is either no choice, or you are doing it because you (like me) believe that it is in their best interests, because of the love and devotion you have for them.
    For the woman who posted about the "Christian" facility that mistreats children . . . Shame on you for being a part of that environment, shame on you for keeping your mouth shut to the authorities, and shame on you for assuming that a true Christian (especially a group of them!!) presumably filled with the Holy Spirit and G-d's love, routinely abuses and neglects children they are responsible for. You and your co-workers need to reevaluate your spiritual status, and for heaven's sake don't go anywhere near children!

  32. I always wonder...those parents who "have" to many have a car loan? A cell phone? Internet, cable, gym membership? Eat out? Go on vacation? Get Starbucks?

    My husband stays home with our son. Not biblical but I have the higher degree and a TON of student loans. Hopefully I'll be able to stay home in the future. But we planned from day ONE that someone would always be home with our children and we have made financial and lifestyle decisions that allow us to do so. We will not be caught in the "two income trap".

    I also find it an interesting phenomenon that with both public schools and daycare everyone ranks them as a whole pretty poorly...but jump right in to assure you that THEIR child's daycare or school isn't that way.

  33. What a complete disservice this is to all the dedicated teachers and staff who work in daycare centers everywhere. There are abusive parents in the world, does this mean all parents should be labeled by the actions of a few? This blog was recommended to me by a friend. I can see, however, that this blog isn't for me.


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