Friday, July 30, 2010

Weird things the kids said

I wish I had the time or memory to write down all the weird things our kids say. Solomon and Isaac are the two who are always tying in strange and obscure facts into any conversation that is going on, while John is the type who says funny things because he uses some big words for being so little.

Today, I told the kids to listen to the next three chapters of Ezekiel on the computer (mp3 format) while I finished up the laundry we had been working on. Solomon (8) then informed me that they had only listened to two chapters the day before, because they had also listened to Job chapter 41. They were pretending to be undersea in a submarine, so they thought the story of Leviathan would add a nice realistic touch. I know few Christians who could off the top of their head give the exact chapter that leviathan is mentioned in (I couldn't have, I just knew it was toward the end of the book of Job), which was the first thing that surprised me. Then again, these kids have been in church since they were conceived, and it is amazing how much information even their tiny baby brains have retained since then.

Then Solomon added: "Yeah, our submarine was stuck in the Bathypelagic Zone." "The WHAT?" I asked, and he repeated it. I didn't know what that was, so he informed me that "it's the zone in the ocean between the Twilight Zone and the Continental Slope." I asked him which of his books he had learned that from (The Incredible Journey to the Depths of the Ocean), so I could look it up and see if he was right, and to get the spelling of this zone that I had never heard about before in my life. Of course, he was right on, and I'm sure he could have enlightened me about the correct spelling of it, as well.

Then Isaac (7) chimed in and informed me about a certain type of animal that lives in almost all zones of the ocean, but I have since forgotten what animal he said that was (even though he told me twice).

Later the same day, Isaac and John (5) were folding a load of whites (towels and underwear). John usually does the smaller items handed to him by whichever older brother he is working with. Isaac was getting frustrated because John was refusing to fold Miriam's underwear. John defended himself and told me "I think it is vulgar for a boy to fold girls' underwear." I thought it was too funny (and made Isaac finish the job as to not offend little John).

Earlier this week, there was a similar incident with John. The kids and I had gone to a local library to see a puppet show performance. We were all sitting on the carpet around the puppet theater, waiting for it to start, when John started tugging at my arm hysterically, and with tears shooting from his eyes whispered something I couldn't understand because he was sobbing uncontrollably. I had to ask him several times to repeat what he was saying, until I finally understood what it was. Apparently, the little girl sitting right in front of him (she was maybe 3) was sagging her pants so much he could see her underwear, so he did not want to even look in her direction. In effect, he could not see the stage, and he thought we was going to miss the show. I looked over and the poor little girl was, in fact, showing most of the back of her underwear. She was also very fidgety, and kept getting up and sitting back down, which did not help with her pants slouching down the whole time, and her trying to keep them somewhat pulled up since she had no belt on. I moved John to the other side of me, and he was very careful not to even glace in the girl's direction after that. It was so funny.

Last week, I was serving the kids some homemade applesauce. I make it by simply steaming sliced apples that are neither peeled nor cored until tender, and then putting them through a food mill which gets out most of the skins and seeds. Suddenly, Johnny started choking, and it looked like he was going to throw up. When he finally got a hold of himself, I asked him what was wrong, and he told me he could not eat the applesauce because it had "debris in it". He was referring to a tiny piece of the inside of the core that had ended up in his batch.

That's it for today's comic relief. I love our kids; they are funnier than any TV show could ever be.


  1. Wow! I love reading about the things your boys say! It'll be so fun when Nathan talks, to hear what he has to say. I've learned that kids do imitate their parents, so your boys must be getting it from one of you two! :) Nathan is already starting to imitate me in certain ways, it's cute but kinda scary (I don't want him picking up on any of my "bad" traits!).

  2. LOVE the underwear story, poor John, but extremely impressive! Teaching him soooo well! Keep up the good work!


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