Monday, March 22, 2010

Random John-isms

Kids say the funniest things. Of all our children, John probably takes the cake for coming up with strange but true statements. He started using single words when he was not quite 6 months old, and has been talking in complete sentences since he was barely over one year old. Now that he is five, he is basically still the same person, just taller.

Here, in no particular order, some random quotes from my quirky thirdborn son, all collected during this past week:

"Mom, do you know what I do with boogers? First I pick my nose, and then I throw the boogers all over the room." [pauses while I try not to laugh out loud or show my somewhat horrified amusement] "Or is that bad? Is it unclean?"

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"Mom, are you a multi-millionaire?"

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"Mom, are you sonar-equipped? Well, I am. I can walk around with my eyes closed and know where I'm going, as long as my brain is on. Do you want to see me doing it with my brain turned off?" (starts walking around with his eyes closed and intentionally bumping into everything).

***

John (after Miriam demanded a band-aid for a hurting finger, and I told her band-aids don't help with pain relief): "Band-aids are like pain killers. They make you feel better, but afterward your head comes crashing off." (I think he meant they make you feel worse in the long run...)

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During the same meal, Miriam asked to borrow a coin from John for a trick she was trying to show. John: "Miriam, half the people in the world are borrowing money right now. The world does not need any more borrowing money!"

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One day, as I was driving in the van with the kids, I kept noticing a very strong smell. It took me a while to put my finger on it, until I realized it was garlic. "Why does it smell like garlic in here?" I asked, and John piped up from the far back row: "Oh, I'm just eating some garlic." Sure enough, he had brought a whole bulb along for the ride, and was eating one clove after another. My gut reaction was to say "John, don't eat raw garlic!" to which he innocently replied "Is it unhealthy?" I conceded that it wasn't, and that it was actually quite healthy, so he kept eating away at that bulb for the rest of the day. To him, the garlic breath was an added bonus.

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One night, we had sent the kids to bed about 10 minutes earlier when suddenly, there was a loud thump from John's bedroom, followed by giggling. My husband went to check on him, and John informed him that he had accidentally rolled out of bed. Then he added: "I usually don't fall asleep, I just go to sleep."

4 comments:

  1. These are so cute!!! I love the "borrowing money" one. I laughed out loud. He is so smart and funny!!!!


    Jessica

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  2. Kids say the darndest things don't they...I needed the amusement today! It's been a rotten 8 days in my house!

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  3. HA! I love this kid! My favorite is the garlic.

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  4. soooo cute!!! I loved reading these~

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