Wednesday, January 28, 2009

Why I hate church nurseries

The subject of whether or not church nurseries are scriptural and whether or not I think they should exist is one of my favorite hobby horses. Please bear with me as I go off on it for a while in this post.

For those readers who think nurseries are a must, and without them church would be a circus, this post will do little to convince them otherwise because they are willingly ignorant, and inconsiderate of the fact that children are the most important audience.

Rather, my post is intended to embolden parents who are currently struggling with this issue to take a stand against nurseries, and prove that yes, you can and should have your children in church right alongside with you.

My husband devoted a large part of his most recent Sunday night sermon, "How to win children to Christ", to preach on this very subject, and I have embedded the video of it below. While the entire sermon is great, the part pertaining to nurseries starts at 36:14. For some reason the camera was not focused properly, but the sound quality is obviously unaffected by that.



I am not going to repeat the points from the sermon here, but would like to add the following:

Keeping children out of the service and leaving them in a nursery is not only detrimental to their spiritual growth, but also their physical health. Nurseries are like leper colonies, and any and all sickness will be passed around as toys (and the accompanying body fluids) are freely shared. In a small church, there may only be one nursery, in which case older kids could hurt younger children by throwing toys, biting/hitting them, or accidentally stepping on the little ones - I have seen all of these. A baby might accidentally be given the bottle of another child, something that even with labeled bottles happens all the time.

There is a prevailing notion that young children get sick a lot and that that's just the way it is. According to statistics, preschool age children get about 9 colds per year. This number is absolutely ridiculous, but sadly true. When our kids used to go to the nursery during church services, they would get sick at least once per month, but more often it was twice per month. Today I know that almost all of this sickness was completely self-inflicted. Now, the kids get sick maybe once or twice per year at the most. The children in the nursery share germs with each other. They are also exposed to the germs of their respective older siblings, of which they may be a carrier without showing any symptoms of illness yet. They can get sick from a nursery worker who either does not know that she is spreading a virus that she is carrying, or who knew she was sick but didn't want to miss out on holding the babies in the nursery.

While children are exposed to germs out in public all day long, it is not as aggressive of an onslaught as in a nursery. A child that is exposed to a few germs at the store or in the church auditorium will most often shake it off before it develops into an illness. Such is not the case when their system is overloaded with the amount of germs that they are exposed to in a closed environment such as a nursery with other sick children.

I could go on for hours on this point alone. In short, our kids used to get sick all the time. Since we took them out of the nursery (which was well-maintained and cleaned regularly) they hardly ever get sick any more. Best of all, they are not passing sickness on to my husband, as they had before, which would mean substantial financial losses because of him being too sick to work.

Then there is the question of safety. Churches draw freaks like moths are drawn to light. People are trusting, courteous, and easy targets. How can anyone know that the sweet nursery worker that they just handed their child off to is not a predator? I get so tired of hearing about background checks. They are 100% worthless. All a background check says it that someone has never been convicted of a crime. Maybe they just have never committed one yet? Maybe they just didn't get caught? Every child molester had a clean record at one time - do you want your child to be the first victim? I am not saying that you should go around suspecting everyone, I am saying you should not go around blindly trusting anyone just because they happen to go to your church. Would you trust that same person at church with all your personal banking information, your wallet, the keys to your house and car, and all your money in cash, to do with it as they saw fit? Hardly. To me, my children are worth so much more than all that together.

Learning to sit still in church will also be a valuable lesson for younger children, rather than picking up every bad behavior from other kids in the nursery. No child is perfect, my own included, which is why they shouldn't just all be cooped up together to learn each others worst habits.

According to the Bible, it is wrong to tell people who come to church where to sit:

James 2:3 And ye have respect to him that weareth the gay clothing, and say unto him, Sit thou here in a good place; and say to the poor, Stand thou there, or sit here under my footstool:

According to the Bible, Jesus was angry when the disciples tried to keep the children away from him:

Matthew 19:14 But Jesus said, Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me: for of such is the kingdom of heaven.

Mark 10:14 But when Jesus saw it, he was much displeased, and said unto them, Suffer the little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

Luke 18:16 But Jesus called them unto him, and said, Suffer little children to come unto me, and forbid them not: for of such is the kingdom of God.

According to the Bible, it is wrong for the pastor to rule over and command another man's wife by forcing her to use the nursery.

Romans 14:4 Who art thou that judgest another man's servant? to his own master he standeth or falleth. Yea, he shall be holden up: for God is able to make him stand.

1Peter 5:3 Neither as being lords over God's heritage, but being ensamples to the flock.

Yet, there is not one single verse in the entire Bible that says that children should be pushed aside into a nursery while the adults attend the service.

Do yourself and your children a huge favor and get out from under the footstool that pastors have confined the next generation to because they are so ill-prepared for their sermon that any little peep from the audience will make them lose their train of thought.

To read previous post on this subject, click here, here, and here.

Tuesday, January 13, 2009

Recipe for Lángos

Tereza, this post is just for you. And for me to vicariously enjoy the thought of getting to eat these. Note for my non-Hungarian readers: this is kind of like Indian fry bread.

The recipe was taken from Culinaria Hungary, which is worth every cent and vital if you ever feel homesick for Hungary. Amazon carries a paperback version that costs less, but I love the hardcover edition and use it often. Every food I have ever eaten in Hungary in my life can be found in this book. It even has a recipe for making túró!

Zsírban sült lángos

150 g soft-cooking potatoes
30 g fresh yeast (or use 1 1/2 tsp. dried yeast)
400 ml milk
3 tbsp powdered sugar
400 g flour
salt
50 ml oil
oil for frying

Cook potatoes with skin. Dissolve yeast in 100 ml lukewarm, sweetened milk and let rest in a warm spot for 10 minutes. Peel potatoes and mash while warm. Sift flour into a large bowl, pour in milk and yeast. Add potatoes, oil, remaining milk and some salt and knead into a smooth dough. Sprinkle with flour, cover with a kitchen towel, and let rest for approx. 1 hour in a warm spot (until doubled in size). Fill a pan with approx. 6 cm of oil and heat. Tear off a piece of dough, make a patty approx. 2 cm thick, and lay it in the hot oil. Fry until golden, turn carefully, and fry other side. Sprinkle with salt and enjoy hot.


Just be careful not to let the oil get too hot.


I apologize, that was in totally poor taste. I feel terrible for whoever suffered this fire, honestly. I just couldn't resist.

Lángos taste great plain, but can also be eaten with any of these toppings: garlic, sour cream, ham, shredded Swiss cheese, feta, dill, káposzta, or pretty much anything else that strikes your fancy.



Please click here if you need to work up an appetite.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

Getting up early

Lately, I have been encouraged by post like these and this to get into a habit of consistently getting up early. This is certainly a concept that is found throughout the book of proverbs as well as the entire Bible, but the most famous verse is probably the one in the description of the virtuous woman in Proverbs 31, verse 15:

She riseth also while it is yet night, and giveth meat to her household, and a portion to her maidens.

I think getting up early really is a question of self-discipline. It is very tempting to want to stay up late at night to get some quiet time without the kids running around, even if it is just to clean or get caught up on stuff around the house. I am not at all against staying up after the kids are in bed, but let's face it - most moms will be way too tired at this point to really get much housework done.

Personally, we do not have a TV, but families who do may be tempted to just sit in front of it and "veg". Even if they enjoy more wholesome fun such as a craft of board game, they will inevitably be too tired the next day to want to get up early.

Getting up at the same time as your children (or after them) is detrimental for various reasons, some of which are:

- You will be very busy the second you roll out of bed with feeding and dressing the kids. This leaves no time for you to pray and read the Bible by yourself first, get groomed and dressed, have something to eat, and just generally get some alone time to give you the strength needed to make it through a long day of hard work.

- Getting started on dinner preparations will also go out the window, which will have you working that much harder later in the day. It's much easier and faster to throw a meal in the crock pot or get bread dough going when you are working without any little ones around. The time it saves could be used to make a special treat with the kids later in the day.

- Your kids will probably wake each other up, which means that you will have to care for all of them at once rather than one by one as they wake up one after the other. By getting up before them, you could have some one-on-one time with the child who rises first as a reward. In our house, our kids are always very creative at carving out time that they have either me or my husband all to themselves.

- In general, you will get a much later start on your day, and you will be struggling all day long to get even the basics done.

- You are setting a poor example for your son(s), who will one day have to rise early and work hard all day to provide for their own families, and your daughter(s) who will have to work hard at raising a family just like we do every day.

I think that not getting a chance to quietly read and meditate on the Word of God, your spiritual food, is by far the worst of all these disadvantages. It will put your attitude on the wrong path all day long, and you will not be the wife and mother that you should be. A dirty house is one thing, but a grouchy mom that is stretched to her limits and ready to snap at any moment is far worse. I have been guilty of this myself many times, but it's just not a good way to go through life.

Looking at the above verse, it says that the virtuous woman rises "while it is yet night", which in the Bible is technically anytime before 6 AM. Others may interpret it to mean anytime before the sun comes up. I don't think there is a "set" time that God had in mind when he wrote that verse, and I think it is different for every lady.

In my case, our kids usually go to bed around 8 PM, later on church nights. After they are down, I like to "pick up" the house. Then I run the dishes, laundry, and sweep/mop the floors. These are activities that I would not want to do early in the morning because they are loud, and our kids are light sleepers in the morning and would wake up, which would defeat the whole point of me getting up early. At night, however, nothing wakes them up. Also, I like to wake up to a house that looks neat and tidy, even if it is not totally clean, rather than a complete mess that I know I have to get done before the kids wake up.

There are other activities that I do not like doing at night, because I am usually too tired. Some of these are cleaning the bathrooms or folding and putting away laundry. So in my case, I want some alone time at night as well as in the morning. On average, when I am not pregnant, I function well on 6-7 hours of sleep. I have also noticed that if I go to bed early, I will need less sleep and often wake up of my own after 6 hours or less.

My plan the last couple of weeks has been to be in bed by 11 PM and get up between 5 and 5:30. Many times, I wake up on my own before the alarm goes off. I sit in the school room and listen to the Bible on CD while folding laundry. Since this is very monotonous work that doesn't take much thought, it does not distract me from what I am listening to. When I am done with the laundry, I start cleaning, so I switch to my Bible memory index cards because I would be too distracted to keep listening, or just pray while I clean.

As summer draws closer and the days get longer, I want to start getting up a half hour earlier because by 6 AM, it is bright day here, and the kids get up around that time.

The results have really paid off. I have been able to keep up with our daily laundry load (3-4 loads per day, more on Mondays), and I have a much easier time getting a lot of Bible reading done then when I would get up early hit-and-miss. When we went on a trip to California earlier this week, I got up early the first day (after driving half the night and only sleeping 4 hours) so I could go to the store and buy our food for the day rather than getting unhealthy and expensive food at Legoland. The next day was the first day that I have gotten up late recently - I was woken up by my husband at 9 AM after sleeping 12 hours! Him and the boys were in one hotel room, and me and the girls were in another room next door. It was really nice, and because we were not home, there was no housework that got neglected by my sleeping in.

This has been a good goal to work towards, and I would encourage every lady to give it a try.

I will say, though, that I would not be getting up this early if I were pregnant. When I am pregnant, I need 10-12 hours of sleep in any 24 hour period, especially during the first few months. If I get less, or get up early, I get violently ill, which I hate. There are different seasons in every mom's life, and right now I am bursting with energy because I just had a baby. I am sure that once I get pregnant again in a year or so things will slow down for 9 months, and that's good, too.

Sunday, January 4, 2009

Interesting study on SIDS

Fans may reduce the risk of SIDS, or sudden infant death syndrome, a new study shows.

Babies who slept in a room with a fan were 72% less likely to die from SIDS, according to a study released from Archives of Pediatrics & Adolescent Medicine. The study included interviews with the mothers of 185 infants who died from SIDS and the mothers of 312 other babies.

Click here to view the full news article, or simply do a google search on "SIDS fan study".

I have to say that my theory on why fans have this effect is slightly different from the conclusion that the study authors came to (who don't know exactly why fans seem to help, it's possible that fans improve air circulation, preventing infants from rebreathing exhaled carbon dioxide, which can pool up in the gap between a baby's face and the mattress). While I think that point is definitely valid, I doubt many (if any) of the kids in this study were placed on their tummy to sleep, which would be the only way for carbon dioxide to pool up in front of baby's face.

My theory is that air blowing lightly in the baby's face triggers their natural reflex to inhale. If you have a young baby, you can try this: blow gently in their face and they will take a quick, deep breath. This works great for example when your child hurts themselves and "screams silently" without breathing in. Our oldest would start turning blue and almost pass out until I learned this trick. Now I just give a quick blow in their face, which makes them stop screaming to take a breath.

This is another reason why I LOVE LOVE LOVE having my youngest baby always tucked in by my side to sleep at night. They do not need a fan because while I am sleeping, I am constantly breathing on them lightly, which is like a "breathing pacemaker" to them. I believe that this is a major reason why "co-sleeping" babies have so much lower rates of SIDS. Breathing is an involuntary reflex, but in some babies it is a still a little immature at birth and they simply "forget" to breathe. The natural reflex to breathe does not kick in, and they die. Of course, there are many contributing factors (such as cigarette smoke, not being breastfed, etc.), but I believe that these come into play only because they disadvantage the child and further undermine his/her health.

I am a firm believer that all young babies should sleep with their parents, and that parents need to take precautions to ensure their bed is baby-friendly (i.e. no gaps, guard rails for older babies, etc.). If you or your spouse are intoxicated, have taken prescription medicine, or are extremely obese, having baby in bed with you is NOT safe, as you may inadvertently roll over them in your sleep.

You can find lots of information on safe co-sleeping habits online or at the library.

Edited to add: Please check out this post on important information regarding the safety of (crib) mattresses.

Friday, January 2, 2009

Recipe for Taco Soup

Taco Soup

This has been a staple dinner in our house ever since I first tried it. Tastes great, inexpensive, and the ingredients are always on hand.

Allison, if you are reading this, THANK YOU for sharing this recipe with me. I still have the original, hand-written copy you made for me! It is covered in countless food splatters and grease stains because I have used it so many times. In fact, I know the recipe by heart, but I like to pull it out and read it because it reminds me of you.

Ingredients:

* 2 pounds ground beef
* 2 envelopes taco seasoning (= 1/2 cup) or less, depending on your taste
* 1-1/2 cups water
* 2 cans mild chili beans
* 2 cans whole kernel corn, drained, or frozen corn
* 1 can tomato sauce
* 2 cans diced tomato with green chilies (or plain diced tomatoes for a milder flavor)
* 1-2 beef bullion cubes (optional)

Directions:

In a Dutch oven or large kettle, cook beef over medium heat until no longer pink; drain. Add taco seasoning and mix well. Stir in remaining ingredients. Bring to a boil. Reduce heat; simmer, uncovered, for 15 minutes or until heated through, stirring occasionally.

Tastes great with corn chips, sour cream, and avocado on top. Enjoy!