Thursday, October 18, 2007

What a week!

The last several days have not been the best. Here's a laundry list of all my little gripes.

I have been up every night working until midnight or later. In case you didn't know, I work from home as a translator for an agency in Chicago. The work is freelance, and it's entirely done from home. Basically, I translate documents (mostly medical articles) from German into English, and e-mail the finished document back to the agency. I only ever work at night after all the kids are sleeping. Honestly, I love this job, which is the only reason why I do it - my wonderful husband provides very well for us and I absolutely don't "need" to work for the money. I enjoy feeling like I am not only "Mommy", but also an adult with professional interests. Having said that, I have been kind of overwhelmed with work because I hate to say "no" when they need me.

Then two days ago Miriam decided to cruise along the bed, but unfortunately she slipped and hit the metal bed frame with her face. She slumped face down on the carpet in the "silent scream", and when I scooped her up and turned her to face me I saw blood gushing everywhere. My stomach turned and it was all I could do to **calmly** send Solomon for the ice pack (he watched the whole thing happen and was terrified). I had to blow into the poor baby's face several times to stop her from passing out (a trick I learned a few kids ago), all while trying to stop the bleeding, apply the ice, and assess the situation. Miriam basically had a 1 inch cut between her upper lip and her nose that was bleeding very heavily. I knew the ER wasn't an option since I was home alone with four kids, one of which had just woken up from his nap and wasn't even remotely dressed to rush out the door. I figured it would take me close to an hour to get ready and to the hospital (evening rush hour), all the while Miriam screaming in the car seat - surely that would make the wound worse. But I didn't want to call an ambulance out for this, either. What if they would whisk her off in that without me? I doubt they let 4 extra people ride along in the back. So there I sat on the bed wondering what to do. Thankfully, the bleeding quickly subsided, and I was able to see that the wound was long, but not deep, and that it was not gaping open very much at all. At first I debated going to the urgent care down the street for stitches, but when I called them they said that it would leave an ugly scar. I called my midwife for advice and she said to just give her some arnica. Of course, with 3 boys in the house that get hurt a lot, we are always out of that. But by now Miriam was smiling and giggling so I decided to run down to the health food store. I had just barely pulled out of the driveway when my "low tire pressure" light came on. Noooo! Thankfully I had quarters on me. So I pulled into the next gas station and started to fill the flat back tire with air. At that point, my skirt ripped along the side seam. To make a long story short, I eventually made it to the store and back, got the poor girl all fixed up, and all was well.

The next day, yesterday, my midwife informed me (in a very kind and loving way) that she was moving out of country and would no longer be able to attend my births. If you have never had a home birth with a midwife, you will not understand how traumatic this was to me. I felt like a good friend of mine had just died. I went to bed in tears, and am still just heartbroken about this today.

Right now, it is 1:30 AM. I have an appointment at 8:30 AM later today. Let's see, that's 7 hours from now, so I figure with getting ready and feeding everyone breakfast I'll get about 5 hours of sleep.

But even after the worst of days, I go to bed at night and find all of our children snuggled up to each other. Suddenly, my problems are so small, because I still have the most important part of my life right there with me. Almost every single night I think about how many mothers had to go to bed tonight after just losing a child, and I feel like the luckiest person in the entire world. Because I really am.

1 comment:

  1. I always try to think about that too. What is really important in life. We have a house to live in, food to eat and we are all healthy. I have 5 kids and couldn't think of one of them not being here.

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